


Secrets Softly Spoken

by AutumnSwitch



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: ASMR, Alpha!Eggsy, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Sex, Beta!Roxy, Claiming Bites, Courtship, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Merwin, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Mpreg Merlin, Mutual Pining, Omega!Merlin, Omega!Michelle, Pining, Pregnancy, Pregnant Merlin, Pregnant Sex, Romance, Secrets, Sharing a Bed, True Mates, soft touches, use of hormone suppressants, use of scent blockers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-06-13 23:09:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 70,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15375453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutumnSwitch/pseuds/AutumnSwitch
Summary: Kingsman's hormone suppressant has allowed Merlin to keep his job (and avoid painful prolonged heat cycles) for years.  The thought of pregnancy never crossed his mind, but the experimental drug isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in terms of contraception.  Merlin attributes his queasiness to the chaos of life after V-Day.  However, the mysterious illness lingers on, drawing concern from his closest friend.When Eggsy finds access to a pair of glasses kept on display in Merlin’s office, what he sees leads him to suspect there may be more to Merlin’s funny tummy than stress.If you'd like to chat about stories or anything else, find me on Tumblr@ImJustTooTired





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't set out to rewrite **A/B/O Dynamics** , but since everyone seems to write it differently, here's a little info about this universe:
> 
>  **Betas (beta-o and beta-a):** They make up the majority of the populace. Betas are softer forms of alpha and omega, as if evolution were trying to rid itself of the extremes. 
> 
> **Alpha:** Many alphas in society, especially of the upper classes and white collar professions, choose to use scent blockers in the form of deodorants or an over-the-counter supplement.  
>  _High alphas_ are rare and considered basest of all genders -- Greater society views them as being ruled by raw nerve, less intelligent, prone to street crime, etc. All alphas experience cyclical ruts (1-4/year). Though the rut of a high alpha is thought to be stronger, they come less often and infertility is common among male and female-sexed persons.
> 
>  **Omega:** Omegas in society are also rare (second to high alphas). They may choose to hide their gender with scent blockers and carefully scheduled holidays out of fear of discrimination in the workplace. In community, even a mated omega may be seen as a target by criminals and jerks alike.  
>  Within Kingsman, nearly all agents and staff are provided with a monthly scent blocker injection.  
> A select few in the secret service are on an experimental hormone suppressant which is supposed to mask their gender entirely and eliminate rut/heat cycles while taking the pill daily.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Pregnancy:** All female-sexed and omega variant persons can become pregnant by male-sexed or alpha variant persons.  
>  A full term pregnancy will be 40 weeks.  
> Female sexed and omega variant persons can deliver without medical intervention.  
> 

****

****~**~****

Merlin locked the door to Arthur’s office and stood with his back to it. Finally away from prying eyes and those at Kingsman who needed their leader to be their rock, Merlin took a shaky breath. The walls he’d built to hide his pain crumbled at his feet.

He stared at the remnants of Chester King with disgust. Anxiety and anger warred within as stinging tears welled in his eyes. 

Merlin tore through the room, dizzy as he knocked books from the shelves. He steadied himself with a hand against the desk when he felt light-headed enough to stumble. 

Over the past week, Merlin barely slept. He hardly ate. Merlin couldn’t remember the last time he felt hungry, the last time he felt anything other than a pit in his stomach. It was a hole Merlin knew a meal wouldn’t fill, so he didn’t try.

Merlin swept his hand over the desk to clear it in one move. Arthur's crystal figure of sword in stone crashed to the floor. It was a favorite of Chester's. Seeing it strewn in shards over the hardwood renewed Merlin’s strength. 

He continued his mission, stripping the office until every piece of the traitorous bastard laid in a broken heap by the wall. He had half a mind to set the whole lot aflame. 

Only when the office was a bare bookshelf, desk, and chair -- the same set that had been passed from Arthur to Arthur for a century -- did Merlin let a tear fall.

At the sound of a knock on the door, Merlin quickly wiped his eyes. With all that had happened, with all that still needed to be done, there was no time to fall apart. He opened the door enough to maintain an air of professionalism while making it clear he was in no mood for company.

“Report,” he said, his voice still thick with emotion.

“Sir,” Lancelot addressed him carefully, noticing his puffy eyes. She was continually impressed by the strength of Kingsman blockers. By the look of Merlin, any other alpha in his state would have filled the hall with their scent. “Pardon my asking, but is there anything I can do to help?”

Merlin was about to lash out at her for questioning his ability. He was a hair's breadth from accusing the young agent of perpetuating ignorance of a beta raised by betas. But he stopped himself. She wasn't posturing or imposing false authority. She didn't know he was an omega, none did but the chief of medicine and his closest companions.

Merlin took a breath of the neutral scent that filled the Kingsman halls. He wasn’t of his right mind. It wasn’t like him to be so close to losing control.

When his heart rate returned to rest, a task for Lancelot came to mind after all. 

Merlin pulled the door opened wide, revealing the tall pile of Chester’s things. “Get rid of this shite,” he ordered.

Lancelot tugged on the lapels of her suit and gave a stiff nod. “I’ll have it done at once, Arthur.” 

She turned and was gone before Merlin registered her words.

Anxiety and anger twisted Merlin's stomach again, rising behind his ribs until he was doubled over the bin with a dry heave. He coughed and spit into the unlined waste basket. Suddenly his lack of appetite and empty stomach seemed a blessing.

At Lancelot’s return, Merlin left the room. He didn’t want to look at the rubbish one second longer.

Merlin walked through the estate in a daze. The halls were too quiet, the rooms felt cold with disuse. The week since V-Day had effected Kingsman like it were a year. Contrariwise, as Merlin entered the empty dining room and saw the empty spaces on the walls that would hold the portraits of his fallen brothers in arms, it felt very much like Valentine's madness had been unleashed that very morning.

Merlin poured himself a glass of water from a standing pitcher on the table. He sat near an open window, looked out at the stars, and took a sip. The drink cooled his stomach as the night breeze eased his nausea. 

At the beep of his watch, Merlin reached in his pocket for a pill. 

Kingsman prescribed scent blockers to alphas and betas in the service; the monthly injections masked the scents of secondary gender and emotion while still enabling agents and staff members to go into rut at their regular cycle. 

Merlin’s pill, however, was something different. Still technically in the research and development stage of Kingsman design, the hormone suppressant was available to any staff or agent who wanted part of the trial. They were classified as experimental, dangerous, and as far as Merlin knew, he was the only one on them. 

Although it was commissioned by the late Arthur to keep Kingsman’s omegas safe from detection, the drug that came about had the effect of completely masking either gender, including the elimination of the users mating cycles. 

When faced with the decision to take the experimental suppressant or resign, Merlin was the only omega -- apart from Arthur -- who had chosen to stay. 

Merlin understood why the other omegas left; they all had their reasons, had plans for and lives beyond the service. For Merlin, however, his heart and soul were tied up in the K. 

Being an unmated omega with painful and prolonged heats, the suppressants proved a benefit to him as a person and Kingsman as a whole. They made it possible for him to maintain his work as quartermaster and keep his comrades safe as the job would allow. 

Chester may have been an arsehole for his ordinance that no additional omegas be hired as agents or staff, but his insistence that their scientists develop the drug was a thing for which Merlin had to be grateful. 

He placed the pill on his tongue and swallowed.

Lancelot's footsteps announced her presence before her voice.

“It’s done,” she said from the doorway. “The office is all yours, sir.”

After taking a moment for himself to enjoy a last gust of evening air, Merlin stood. 

“Is there anything else, sir?” 

Merlin dismissed her with a wave. “That’ll be all, Lancelot. Go home.”

“Sir?”

There wouldn’t be any missions until Merlin was sure the people of Kingsman were loyal to the K above the late Arthur. Whatever promises Chester had made to his staff and agents, Merlin needed to know.

“It’s late. Take the weekend, Lancelot. Send word to the other agents. I’ll see ye at the table come Monday.”

Lancelot complied with a nod, tapping her glasses and sending off a message to the agents that lived. Merlin forced a tight smile of thanks as he made his way past her.

Kingsman’s hallways felt long and narrow, though nothing about them had physically changed. The clap of his shoes against the stairs echoed as Merlin walked to the office he had made his own. A new Merlin would take his place soon enough. He grabbed a box of belongings and carried it across the hall to Arthur’s. 

Sat at Arthur's desk, Merlin felt as empty as the table lay before him. He reached into the box and pulled out a few trinkets, little somethings by which to remember the agents that hadn’t returned to the table. 

A pocket square, a half-spent matchbook, a pair of glasses, and a ring. 

Gawain, Lancelot, Galahad, and Percival were lost to Kingsman. Not just severed communications, but truly gone. Bodies had been recovered for 2; they’d received video confirmation of unsurvivable injury of the others. 

With reverence and remorse, Merlin drew his fingertips over the items he’d set out.

His head spun; his stomach churned. 

Merlin bowed his head and began to pray.

****

****~**~****

****~**~****

On the balcony of Harry's North London flat, Eggsy paced. He felt feral under the light of the full moon. Restless energy radiated from him in waves, strong enough that pedestrians on the sidewalk below glanced up and hurried past.

He’d missed days of hormone suppressants while in Kentucky, but what difference did it make? They were only necessary because being a high alpha made him a liability to the secret service.

The high stress and dangers of life as a spy weren’t really conducive to the alpha-type others considered volatile and better suited to life in crime. Eggsy never felt he fit the mold set for him and Harry insisted Kingsman had found a way to make it work.

Of course, none of that mattered now.

Without their Quartermaster at Control, without agents to fill the Table, Eggsy figured he could be out of a job any day. 

The alpha projected a wave of fury at no one, at the world, and stormed into the empty home. Harry’s butterfly collection covered the walls, making the rooms feel close and stifling. Eggsy grabbed a frame within reach and tossed it on the couch. He did this over and over, listening to the taps of wood and glass until the walls were bare.

Most of the frames fit within suitcases Eggsy found in Harry’s closet, while some smaller ones made due in a shoebox. Eggsy took Kingsman’s medallion from his neck and stuffed it into the box with the rest. 

Exhausted with the energy it took to force himself not to think, Eggsy made his way to Harry’s office. 

“More bloody bugs,” he grumbled at the colorful displays. But he didn’t touch them, not even to fix one that hung askew near the door. The newspapers would stay as well, at least until Eggsy figured out what to do with it all.

He sat himself in Harry’s chair and opened the hidden workspace. Perhaps Eggsy needed a piece of the late Galahad before saying goodbye to the man for good. Perhaps he only did it to torture himself. 

The computer screen lit up and Eggsy logged in. With the overrides Merlin had provided, Eggsy had access to nearly everything Harry had saved. He stared at the list of files that meant nothing to Eggsy and meant the work of a lifetime to his mentor.

Much like entering the office that day, Eggsy didn’t know what compelled him to don his glasses and try to connect with ones configured for Harry. Led by emotion rather than reason, Eggsy followed his urge. 

The system pinged a pair of specs that had yet to be deactivated. Eggsy confirmed the system’s request to turn them on. 

Though the video feed was dark, Eggsy heard the whisper of a man’s private plea in his ear and nearly swallowed his tongue. 

It took only a few words to realize the voice wasn’t that of Harry, to recognize the roll of Merlin’s r’s. Out of respect or decency, Eggsy supposed he should have taken the glasses off or cut the feed, but instead he listened.

“May the rains fall softly upon your fields. Until we meet again, may God hold ye in the hollow of his hand.” Merlin took a shaky breath before Eggsy heard a chair scrape against the floor.

As Merlin stood -- and his arm lifted -- Eggsy saw that it was the sleeve of Merlin’s jumper that had blocked the camera. Now unobstructed, the view showed woodgrain of a desk and the edge of Merlin’s clipboard tablet. 

Eggsy sat frozen as he heard Merlin’s muffled sniff and the blow of his nose. He stared down the long line of the desk knowing it was wrong to keep watching. Eggsy’s heart pounded in his chest at the intrusion. His hand hovered over the keyboard to end the call.

At the far end of the table, Merlin’s hand clutched the sharp corner white-knuckled. He gave a soft sound of discomfort as his body leaned into frame. The pit-pat sounds of sick falling into a bin were followed by a cough and a groan.

As Merlin straightened to wipe his mouth, Eggsy removed his glasses and set them aside. 

The cloying scent of worry filled the room. 

Eggsy didn't know how long he sat there, taking measured breaths to keep from running to Merlin's side. The alpha didn't need his protection, Eggsy told himself. A friend, perhaps. But that wasn't what the voice in his head was screaming for him to give. 

So long had it been since he felt the full force of his emotions, it was hard for Eggsy to maintain his composure. He hated the loss of control and wouldn't let himself serve the stereotype he'd avoided for months. The time may not sound significant to many, but it was a gift of freedom Eggsy couldn't put into words and hadn't wanted to end.

The ring of his phone pulled him from blankly staring at the cock-eyed frame on the wall.

“Hey, Rox.”

“You hear about Monday?” Roxy’s tone betrayed her concern. The other agents had confirmed they'd return to HQ for the meeting. Her system said Eggsy hadn't yet read the message.

Eggsy glanced at his watch and pulled up his Kingsman alerts. Right at the top was a schedule change and note from Lancelot. “Oh. Yeah. I got it.”

“You'll be there?”

Forgetting she couldn't see him, Eggsy nodded.

“I know things are… different now,” Roxy said. “For all of us. But this is the job.”

“Yeah. No, I know.” Eggsy picked up his glasses, folded and unfolded them as he counted his breaths from one. “I'll be there.”

“I’m sorry about Galahad.” Her condolences were more matter of fact than empathy.

The names and faces of agents they’d lost flashed through Eggsy’s mind. The image of Merlin, sick with the burden of his new role, held Eggsy’s heart in a vice. 

Finally, he found the strength to confess, “I’m sorry about them all.” 

They ended the call with goodbyes and Eggsy let his head drop to the desk. 

His body hummed with the need to move, though his muscles protested in exhaustion. Sleep didn’t come easy, not since he’d sat in this office and watched Harry die on the screen before him. 

Eggsy folded his arms over his head as if to block out the world. The chaos of life after V-Day threatened to swallow him whole. After a week of missed suppressants, Eggsy’s emotions crashed over him. He needed to pick up a new prescription from the Kingsman pharmacy. 

He glanced at his watch: already quarter to nine. Tomorrow, then. 

Eggsy called it a night and washed up, flipped on the telly but found himself unable to settle. He wondered if it was too late to phone a friend.

Merlin answered on the third ring. “Situation?”

Eggsy frowned at the croak of Merlin’s voice. It could have been caused by any number of things, but Eggsy guessed fatigue and nausea were most likely culprits. 

Instead of attempting something akin to casual chat as he had planned, Eggsy thought it best to get to his point and allow Merlin a chance to rest. 

“Nothing to report. I, uh, got the message about weekend leave. But if there's anything you need, if you'd like me to come in…”

Merlin cleared his throat. “Nae, Galahad. Take the time off. I'm sure there's a lot to do at home.” Though it pained him to mention Harry’s place, it would do no one any good to deny Eggsy’s need of permanent residence.

Eggsy tipped his head back; the couch cushions barely gave way. How often were Kingsman agents out on missions? Besides the butterflies, newspapers, and damned taxidermy dog over the toilet, the townhouse barely felt lived in at all. 

“There’s things I need to pick up at the estate room as well,” Eggsy mentioned. He wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of spending the weekend cooped up alone. He liked even less the idea of Merlin holding down the fort in his current state. 

“I'll be round tomorrow afternoon, if ya change your mind about help or having some company.”

Merlin made a low sound, neither argument nor acquiescence. 

“Right. Well…” Eggsy squinted at the ceiling fan, finding small amusement at the living moth that landed upon Harry's light. “Talk to you then, yeah?”

“Get ye some rest,” Merlin said and then hung up.

Dragging his hands over his face, Eggsy stood. “Rest. Sure,” he said aloud as he crossed the room. 

The full moon shone through the bay doors, calling to something deep within him. Eggsy felt his blood rising and wanted to hide. 

He turned toward the only windowless room in the house and closed the door on the moonlight.

The computer screen’s glow was enough for him to navigate around the desk to where Eggsy, again, took Harry’s seat. The chair creaked with his weight. And when Eggsy tapped a key to bring up Galahad’s mission history, the computer’s fan whirred under his fingertips.

It was strange, Eggsy thought, how much louder sounds registered in the dark.

He clicked through a few files before settling on one detailing Galahad’s trip to Cape Town in the late 90s. Eggsy decided to make himself comfortable and dig in for a read.

It didn’t feel right to kick up his feet, not anymore. Disrespectful, despite the fact that every possession of Harry’s had now legally fallen to him. More of Harry trying to pay back the Unwins, Eggsy guessed.

Eggsy pushed the computer away from the edge of the desk and leaned forward. With his chin resting on his folded arms, he was able to scroll and read. And maybe, just maybe, he could bore himself until he passed out.

By the third mission file, Eggsy’s eyes were burning and he’d nearly given up all hope for sleep. The assignment briefings read like adventure stories. Definitely not helping to calm his racing heart. 

He thought to shut down the computer altogether, but the whirr of the fan motor was rather nice. Every so often Eggsy felt a sensation like fingers in his hair, tingles over his scalp. He swiveled the screen to reduce the temptation of further reading and lay his head directly to the cool wood of the desk.

It was as he lay there in the quiet, in the dark, that Eggsy heard something more than the steady spin of the machine’s blades. 

The rumble and thunk of a heavy drawer closing. A cough. A sniff. The clearing of throat.

Eggsy sat up and slid his hands over the desk. He found the glasses and brought them to his face without second thought.

It was midnight, yet Merlin was up, still at Kingsman, rummaging through the Arthur office. 

Eggsy leaned onto his arms again. There wasn't much to see on display. It sounded as though Merlin was at a cabinet. Glass bottles or the like knocking each other as he moved them around. Eggsy wouldn't blame the man for mixing himself a drink. 

Hoping it would help him listen better, he closed his eyes.

Merlin muttered in his search. Though he sounded far away, Eggsy could just barely make out his words.

“One tea bag, ye bloody rat. Ye couldn't keep one in this damn--” 

There was a sigh of relief and a cracking of stiff joints. Merlin's utterances turned to inaudible mumbling and Eggsy opened his eyes in time to catch a glimpse of his friend. 

As he passed in front of the desk to the farthest end of the room, Merlin looked worn and thin but determined. On one hand, seeing Merlin ignore his health this way left Eggsy uneasy. On the other, he was proud of the man for taking on such daunting responsibility as rebuilding the Kingsman. 

Merlin was off camera for awhile and Eggsy's eyes shut off their own accord.

Eggsy gave himself over to the sounds of Merlin shuffling about the office: the step of his shoes against the floor as they moved from rug to wood, the pour of water for his cuppa, the tink-tink of a spoon as he stirred a sugar into his tea.

Merlin sank back in his chair and hummed at the first sip. 

Tingles spread from Eggsy's scalp down his neck and shoulders. He allowed himself a soft hum of his own. 

Eggsy lifted his heavy eyelids to watch Merlin's hands on his mug. As long fingers traced the curve of his mug's handle, Eggsy arched as though someone were drawing lines down his back. 

The sensations, sights, and sounds were more soothing than any lullaby Eggsy had ever heard. 

His tongue moistened his lips as he snuggled down into his arms. His eyes fluttered closed and didn't open until morning. He dreamed of lightning in his veins and words gently whispered in his ear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting a little update today.  
> Thank you to everyone for giving this story a chance. I hope you enjoy it!

****~**~****

“How do you feel, Galahad?” Dr. Klein palpated Eggsy's lymph nodes and checked his eyes, running through the quarterly physical that was part of the pharmaceutical trial. 

Kingsman scientists Allie and Vera scratched their pens to paper documenting everything for their records.

“I'm fine,” Eggsy lied. The sterile hospital smells were giving him a headache. He just wanted to grab his prescription and get the hell out of there.

The doctor moved him around the exam room, taking his height, weight, blood pressure, and a finger stick for god-only-knows what. 

“Just going to run a CBC and check your clotting factor,” Dr Klein announced, as if reading his thoughts. 

Good, Eggsy reasoned. No blood draw meant they wouldn’t check the levels of hormone in his system. It meant they wouldn’t know about the missed doses unless he slipped up.

“The lab would like a full work up at your next visit.” 

Eggsy turned quickly toward the voice, but Allie barely looked up from her clipboard as she scheduled his next appointment. 

“Three months from today works for you, yes?” she asked. It didn’t really sound like a question.

Eggsy agreed without looking at a calendar. It never felt like he had much say in any of this stuff; better to just go with the flow.

More questions came, about his body, performance. Each one was more invasive than the last. 

Eggsy spent the exam measuring his breaths against the second-hand of the clock. 

When the doctor asked Eggsy about his libido, he had to dig deep into his arsenal of Kingsman training to keep his scent neutral and heart rate low. 

Instead of snapping at Dr. Klein about knot-head stereotype bullshit, Eggsy responded with, “Non-existent.”

He curled and his toes tight, then released. He always started the progressive relaxation exercise from his toes. It was how Harry taught him. 

Harry. Eggsy’s shoulders sagged under the reminder of his lost mentor, and he rubbed at his sore neck. Falling asleep at the desk had done it no favors. 

The glasses had come off at some point during the night and Eggsy hadn’t dared to put them back on. In the light of morning, he had been consumed by guilt for looking in on Merlin during his private moments. 

What he’d done wasn’t the same as a handler guiding a mission, and Merlin certainly wasn’t a mark under surveillance. 

Eggsy’s stomach twisted as he realized he’d have to tell him.

“Still with us, Galahad?” It was Allie again, frowning as she filled out her forms.

“O’course. What else ya want to know?” 

Eggsy answered more questions until Dr. Klein and the rest of the research team seemed satisfied.

The doctor handed over the small white bottle. 

As the pills passed hands, Allie posed her final question. “Any mood swings, Galahad?”

Eggsy blinked. “Come again?”

“Well, with all that's been happening in the agency, there have been some reports of emotional lability among staff receiving the routine scent blockers. Have you been experiencing an--”

“This stuff is hell-of-a-lot stronger than what you’re all taking, yeah?” Eggsy feigned a laugh as he slipped the bottle into his pocket.

Allie nodded, as did Vera and Dr. Klein.

“Like I told ya at the start,” Eggsy put on a friendly smile, “I'm fine.” 

Hoping he'd done a decent job of keeping things light and calm, Eggsy hopped off the table. “Got a lot on my plate today. Things been crazy lately, as you said.”

The team sent him off with a reminder to take his dose at the same time each day and to add his appointment in the calendar for the second Friday in December.

Besides the prescription, there wasn’t much else he needed from the estate. Eggsy popped by his rooms for some toiletries and another bag of clothes just to make his trip feel a bit more productive. Then, he went to the offices on the opposite wing of the manor.

Eggsy paused at Arthur's door, scrunching his nose. He didn't think he was supposed to smell the sick and discomfort through the solid oak plank between him and the room inside. It’d been so long since he’d been able to smell anyone.

Eggsy had made it through the entire exam without mentioning the missed doses to the research team; he hadn’t been in the mood for any more tests or to be reprimanded for leaving them behind when he rushed off to save the world. 

If only out of respect for his friend, Eggsy thought to take his pill dry. But he'd made that mistake before. The chalky bitterness, as the supplement dissolved in his mouth, was the worst he had ever tasted. It had coated his tongue for days.

Unmedicated, Eggsy chanced a knock and turned the knob at Merlin's call to “come in.”

Even through the crack of the door as it opened, the scent of the room set Eggsy's senses on alert. “Hey,” he said as he entered.

Ducked under his desk, Merlin wasn't visible right away. But as soon as he emerged, Eggsy was biting back a swear. He was a sore sight of puffy eyes and ill complexion. Eggsy thought the green tint of skin had been a myth about nausea. It hurt Eggsy's heart to see his friend this way.

The bottle of suppressants rattled in his pocket as he came toward the center of the room. If the man could have smelled him, Eggsy was sure he was broadcasting concern loud and clear. 

“Guessin’ you don’t get much sleep either, eh, guv?.”

Merlin wiped a handkerchief over the clammy skin of his head and neck. “That your way of saying I look like shite?”

“No, I’m just--”

Merlin brought his hand to his mouth and swallowed hard. His eyes darted for the end of the desk. 

Eggsy followed his gaze and kicked the wastebasket with his instep. It glided Merlin's way in time, saving him from making a mess of the floor. 

As Merlin coughed over the can until his stomach stopped its reeling, Eggsy went to the liquor cabinet. The decanter of brandy had been replaced by water, so he poured Merlin a glass. 

Merlin accepted it, a tissue, and Eggsy’s worrisome smile. “I’ll be all right. Stomach flu or stress. It’ll pass soon enough.”

Eggsy nodded. “Yeah well, ‘m sure all those cleaning fluids are doing the nausea worlds of good.” He shrugged his bag off his shoulder and gestured at the rags and bottles. “Here to help, guv.”

“It’s not necessary.”

Eggsy reached for a rag anyway, hoping it wouldn’t be taken as insubordination to Merlin’s new station as Arthur. “Really not ready to go back to the house,” he admitted. Eggsy didn’t think he sounded too pathetic; Merlin would understand.

Merlin furrowed his brow behind Eggsy’s back and let himself relax into his seat. He deduced he must not be keeping down his suppressant long enough; he’d almost swear he could smell the scent of sadness and concern.

Needing a moment to let his stomach settle anyway, Merlin agreed to the extra set of hands.

Eggsy opened the window, letting in the warm, late summer air of September, and the smell that shouldn’t be there was gone.

It took Eggsy nearly an hour to wipe down the glass and polish the wooden surfaces. Merlin sat at his computer, sorting files and cursing the Arthur that came before him. Those files that weren’t corrupt, falsified, or incomplete were missing altogether. 

Chester had left the Kingsman a mess. Forget missions. Merlin lifted his glasses and pressed his fingers to his tired eyes. The secret service needed candidates, new staff, and fresh intel.

Eggsy sensed his distress and joked about scrubbing the walls with bleach, ridding the estate all filth of Chester.

Merlin was surprised by how good it felt to crack a smile. He didn’t even notice how long he’d gone without leaning over the trash until Eggsy left the room to fetch a vacuum and mop.

But all it took was a few minutes of Eggsy’s absence to have him doubled-over again. That’s how his agent found him.

“Shite, ya been holding that in the whole time?” Eggsy rushed to Merlin’s side, dropping the mop and bucket. The handle slapped the floor; soapy water splashed onto the hardwood. Neither man paid any mind.

Eggsy rubbed circles over Merlin’s back as he spat into the bin, hushing his friends apologies. “It’s all right. It’s all right.” 

In his desire to placate his friend, Eggsy released a comforting peace into the air. It was likely Merlin wouldn’t even notice, not while he was on Kingsman blockers. But Eggsy was willing to do whatever he could to help.

Weak-kneed and trembling, Merlin took a deep breath and sagged into Eggsy. He sighed from the bit of relief. It was nice, having someone to lean on again. And Eggsy’s cologne smelled so much better than the stinging lemon oil he’d used to clean the furniture.

“Let’s get ya to the sofa, yeah? Have a lie down.”

Merlin breathed again, long and slow, as he gave a small nod against Eggsy’s chest. Sleep sounded lovely. He’d never felt more tired.

Eggsy helped Merlin to the couch, then quickly removed the cleaning supplies from the office. Feeling terrible that it left Merlin alone and sick, he hurried in and out of the room. Eggsy started with the harshest chemicals first, as they were offensive even to him. And saved the vacuum for last. The old machine gave off a musty but mild scent, but nothing strong enough to carry through the door. He stashed it in the hall and returned to Merlin’s aid.

When Eggsy got back inside, it seemed as though there was nothing left in Merlin’s stomach. Eggsy helped him lie back.

“The pillows smell like Chester,” Merlin complained as his eyes drifted closed.

Eggsy worried his lip. What kind of bug would make Merlin so sensitive? 

“I’ll have the upholstery washed.”

Merlin looked up at him with what could have been a smile of gratitude, but came across as a pitiful grimace. 

“When ya take a day off and get yourself well,” Eggsy explained. He didn’t mean right then and there. 

Merlin groaned. His eyes drifted closed and Eggsy dabbed the light sheen of sweat from his brow.

“I can have someone here tomorrow, probably. Shampoo the rug, too.”

“Do ye know how long that’ll take to dry?”

Eggsy rolled his eyes as he crossed the room for Merlin’s water glass. 

“So use your old office,” he suggested as he brought the drink to the cabinet for a refill. 

After a glance over his shoulder showed Merlin’s eyes were still closed, Eggsy took out his supplements and popped a pill. He drank the remnants of Merlin’s glass and filled it fresh. 

“Or use mine.” Eggsy took a last sip from the overfull cup and walked it to the sofa. “Hell, push the meeting and take an extra day.” 

He looked down at Merlin’s face in worry and frustration. “Ya need take care of yourself, guv.” 

Merlin gave a grunt. It was soft, higher than Eggsy expected. Almost could have been confused for a whimper. Then, Merlin looked up with a frown. “You’re a bossy little alpha.”

Color rose up Eggsy’s neck and warmed his cheeks. “Sorry, Arthur.” 

Eggsy busied himself changing the liner of the waste basket as Merlin rolled onto his side in search of sleep. When his friend’s muscles loosened and his light snores were even, Eggsy lowered the windows to a crack and let himself out.

Merlin woke several hours later to another wave of nausea and an empty room, but the water in his cup was soothing while it lasted.

****

****~**~****

‘Meeting rescheduled for Tuesday evening.’

Surprised to receive Roxy’s message, but grateful, Eggsy dropped his phone to his chest and pulled the duvet up to his chin.

Eggsy assumed he'd caught a touch of flu from Merlin and had survived the rest of the weekend on soup and ginger tea. He'd been dizzy with body aches and chills since leaving the estate Saturday evening. But Monday came and he felt no sign of improvement.

He looked at his phone for the time, knowing he had to get up. 11AM. Eggy’s head lolled to the side, and he looked at the bathroom door. A shower was hours overdue, but it was so far away. 

Eggsy did have enough energy, however, to be a bit of an arse. 

Opening his contact list, Eggsy found Merlin’s number and sent a text. 

‘As if Harry’s bugs weren’t enough, guv? Please tell me this is a 72 hours thing.’

Merlin’s phone beeped an incoming message while he was fixing himself a cuppa and dry toast. 

‘My apologies.’ Merlin sent a quick response. ‘Seems to come and go.’ He sat at the kitchen to eat. The phone lay silent on the table beside his plate. 

When it had been a few minutes, Merlin put down his tea. ‘How are you?’

‘Feel like shite.’ Eggsy sent as he stood from the bed. He made it to the loo and winced at what he saw in the mirror. ‘Look like shite.’ 

Merlin shook his head and felt his face ease into a smile. ‘I’m sure that’s not the case.’ 

Instead of a text in reply, Merlin received a picture.

“Oh.” Merlin covered his mouth with his hand and stifled a whine. The disheveled little alpha looked every bit as sick as Merlin had felt the day before. 

Merlin’s thumbs pecked at his phone until ‘Let me take care of you’ filled the box waiting for him to hit send. Merlin blinked at the message he’d typed and quickly erased it. 

He tried again, cautious of his words. ‘Will you be attending tomorrow?’

‘Of course.’ Come hell or high water, Kingsman was priority for Eggsy. There were few things, if any, that would keep him away from The Table. ‘You’ll be there, yeah? Heard misery loves company.’

‘Aye. See you then. Get some rest.’

‘Same to you. Cheers.’ Eggsy shivered as he ran hot water for a bath, but he didn’t feel quite so miserable as before. 

Merlin took a few bites of toast and recalled their brief conversation. Still rattled from coming so close to sending the inappropriate message, he sat back. 

It would be a lie to deny Eggsy was a good friend -- they’d saved each other’s lives and, together, saved the world -- but Merlin wasn’t dense. Asking an alpha to let an omega care for them... his message would have been read as a flirtation. 

Of course, Eggsy had no idea Merlin was omega.

Staring into his tea, Merlin absently rubbed his stomach. As Arthur, he couldn’t confuse things with an agent. Not even if he wanted to. 

Merlin pinched the crease in his brow. Did he want to?

He wasn’t given much time to think on it; nausea had him running to the trash can before he came up with an answer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you!  
> A thousand thanks to everyone reading and expressing interest in this story by way of comments, kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions. :D  
> I hope you enjoy what I have in store.

****

****~**~****

Merlin sat at the head of The Table, feeling anything but ready for the meeting to begin.

Agents filtered into the room and took their seats. There weren’t enough of them, not for what needed be done. The four chairs standing empty meant they’d be stretched thin for years in search of appropriate replacements. 

Anxiety swirled in Merlin’s chest. How could he tell his knights their last Arthur not only meant to flee the castle, but tear it to ruins before he went? 

He focused on a notch in the wood and took steady breaths. 3 chairs, Merlin reminded himself. Not 4. It didn’t feel like much of an improvement, but it was something.

“Galahad is running late,” Lancelot said, pocketing her mobile. 

The Kingsman looked to Merlin to call the meeting to order anyway. 

After clearing his throat and a quick apology for being under the weather, Merlin opened discussion. 

“First order of business: a new Quartermaster.”

There were a few names thrown around the room. Although Merlin already had an idea who he’d appoint to Control, this was a decision for The Table and all knights would have their say. 

While Lancelot posed questions for the others to consider, Bedeviere, Bors, Kay, Gareth, and Lamorak assessed each of their options. The agents made sound arguments in favor of their favorite handlers. 

Merlin tried to keep up, but the voices bouncing back and forth over the table were giving him vertigo. His foot brushed against the wastebasket he’d placed beneath his chair and he hoped against hope he wouldn’t have to use it.

Lancelot spoke out above the rest. “Arthur.” At the name, Merlin snapped to focus. “Is there any reason we cannot trust Margot… or any of them, for that matter?” 

Merlin regarded her with compassion; she would be soon out of her depth if she didn’t realize trust was now a luxury the Kingsman couldn’t afford. Among Merlin’s team at Control, however, there were some who had proven their loyalty more than others. He tried to be gentle as he made that clear to the lot of them.

“So, we weed out the rest, then,” Kay surmised.

It was inevitable that they’d have to cull the herd, but Merlin's head was fuzzy from insomnia and dehydration. He found it difficult to decide where to start.

He wasn’t ready to have this discussion, or any of the others on their docket. He looked to the senior agents waiting on his response and forced down a wave of nausea. 

His eyes pricked with tears that seemed to spring up from nowhere. They were banished easily enough, but to come so close to losing control of his emotions -- and in front of the others -- left him feeling off kilter. 

Not for the first time, Merlin worried this responsibility should have never fallen upon him.

There was a shift in mood as a shadow appeared in the doorway. The distraction, however brief, was a welcome one.

Eggsy hadn’t realized how much the Kingsman suppressants had impaired his sense of smell until he stepped into the meeting and was hit with the scent of uncertainty, indecision, and grief. 

He steeled his reaction. It’d be a week or so before the suppressants took full effect and until then, he needed to be careful. 

When he first joined Kingsman, Eggsy thought the blockers would have worked to enhance an agent’s sense of smell. It made sense to Eggsy that their medical team would want them able to read marks by all means accessible, but no. Biological markers of scent were too easily manipulated. Kingsman chose to rely on their tech. 

He was ever grateful that today, with all agents present in the room and their hands busy with tablets, no one was wearing specs.

Eggsy raised his hand in silent apology for his tardiness; Merlin gestured to the empty Galahad chair at his right. 

A mix of emotions filled the room, but no one’s expression gave away a thing. Eggsy walked around the table to take his seat and came to the source of the heavy scent. He looked at Merlin and offered a weak smile.

Merlin appreciated the gesture, but couldn’t bring himself to smile back. Discussion had turned to bickering over one of the handler’s ability to handle the tasks of Quartermaster. 

With deliberate care over his tone, Merlin interjected, “Why don’t ye let one who’s been in the position decide whether they’re capable.”

“Sir,” Bedeviere addressed the head of The Table. 

It had always felt wrong to Merlin that Kingsman's Arthur sat at a long table instead of the round one of legend. Noticing his thoughts were waylaid again, he pulled himself back. 

“The lot of us feel comfortable with Trent, but perhaps Kelsey is the wiser choice?”

“Older is not always wiser,” Kay grumbled his dissent.

“And new does not mean improved,” Bedeviere maintained.

Eggsy tipped his head to Merlin. “Kelsey’s the one for it,” he whispered.

“Aye.” Merlin would have picked her from the start, but something about having Eggsy’s approval gave him the confidence to state it aloud.

“What’s this?” Kay stood, an imposing figure even when he wasn't looking down his nose at everyone. “Galahad saunters in late, rookie agent, and gets final say?” 

Kay’s anger rose, but Eggsy caught only the faintest whiff of it from across the room. The scent of Merlin in distress was far more potent. 

“How is that fair?” Kay asked his fellow agents to back him up.

“No offense, Galahad,” Lancelot said with a shrug, “but Kay is not wrong.” 

Eggsy blinked at her, stunned that none of them could see the magnitude of what was being asked of their former quartermaster. Why couldn't any of them see the strain Merlin was under?

“Fair?” Eggsy turned to Kay and the others, his volume increasing. “None of this is fair. Agents are dead. Our Merlin is Arthur. And if you haven't noticed he's sick a week at least, but still shows up every day because we have no one else.” 

Perhaps he shouldn’t have mentioned Merlin being sick, but he couldn’t imagine Kingsman -- with their training in observation -- wouldn’t have noticed at least that. 

There was a clamoring at the end of the table, babel of dissent Eggsy was in no mood to entertain. At his side, Merlin was quiet.

Eggsy sat on the edge of his chair breathing hard through his nose. He wanted to crush something. His fingernails dug into the wood of his armrests.

Merlin reached out to lay a hand on Eggsy's arm. It was a gentle touch, a squeeze. 

Eggsy could sense Merlin's attempt at calm; it was laden with anxiety and unease. 

The rise in Eggsy's emotions was getting out of hand and with Merlin’s sensitive nose, he could be blowing his cover. 

Eggsy gripped the armrests tighter as his head spun. It took all he had, paired with Merlin’s efforts, to keep himself from baring his teeth and demanding submission of the group. 

He cleared his throat to draw their attention and employed a different tactic. 

“I spent just a few hours in Arthur’s office and caught his flu. So, unless you all want to end up hugging porcelain, maybe we could put our dicks away and move this shite along.”

The lamenting came full stop. All eyes turned to Merlin.

Feeling sick was making Merlin vulnerable, making him hesitate. He sat straighter, at least to give the air of confidence.

Eggsy smelled the self-doubt covering their leader like a shroud and tried something he knew was a risk. 

Closing his eyes, Eggsy took a deep cleansing breath. As he released it, Eggsy pushed positive, encouraging calm. Unlike what Merlin projected, this was pure. Eggsy could feel it. His friend was in trouble and if he couldn’t make it right, he could at least make the situation easier to bear.

Out of the corner of Eggsy's eye he watched something in Merlin change. 

Eggsy wasn't sure if he should be happy his scent had worked or be scared he'd revealed too much.

Merlin gave Eggsy another squeeze, causing the agent to look down at the hand still on his arm. Had it been there the whole time? 

He shook himself from the thought, but kept in tune with the man beside him. Frequently, Eggsy found himself glancing Merlin’s way. And just as often, he caught Merlin’s eyes on him.

****

**~**~**

Eggsy left the meeting unsettled. With Merlin’s illness making him conscious of the airs broadcasted, Eggsy wondered if he should take an early dose, or double up, to jump start the hormone suppressant effects.

He didn’t know how Merlin would react to him being a high alpha. It was possible, after the display in the meeting, that Merlin already had suspicions. 

But Eggsy had reason to believe he had been careful enough. 

After all, Merlin dismissed them from the room with a nod. He hadn’t held Eggsy back or demanded answers for his behavior. And there was still the lingering tingle of Merlin’s hand resting upon his arm.

Eggsy took his dose at his scheduled time, drank a cup of soup, and called it a night. 

By the time he was in bed, the chills and aches were back in full force.

“Right on schedule,” Eggsy grunted as he huddled deeper under the blankets. 

Worn out by a full day of activity, night was always rough. Eggsy figured the best thing he could do to fight off whatever bug he'd caught was rest. 

He curled up around his pillow and frowned. Merlin likely didn’t get the chance to turn in early. The agents were tasked with investigating staff in search of Chester’s moles. However, in regards to keeping Kingsman afloat, it was Arthur who caught the brunt of the work.

Eggsy felt heavy in his melancholy and grabbed the bottle from the bedside table. He took a second dose of suppressant with some water and shut his eyes. The sound of rain on the window kept him company through his restless exhaustion. But he watched an hour tick by without nodding off. 

Shivering through what must have been fever, Eggsy begged for sleep.

****

****~**~****

The next day was the worst yet. Eggsy spent the morning in the bathroom, alternating between near violent heaves over the can and the soothing heat of his bath.

He had finally gotten wise and made the short walk to pharmacy, bought a thermometer, and taken his temperature. It was low, too low. Rut low, despite feeling sick and lacking any desire for sexual contact.

The thought of an omega’s warmth came unbidden to Eggsy’s mind. But it was just a fantasy. The only omegas he’d ever known were his mum and grandad. Beta-o persons were a dime a dozen, but Eggsy had no energy or want for a one night shag. He doubted there was anyone content to cuddle. Besides, beta-o body temperature was nothing in comparison to omega.

Eggsy slipped into a near scalding bath. But the water didn’t burn, didn’t turn his skin red like it had in the beginning of Kingsman training. 

When Eggsy was recruited, the suppressants had started to alter his biology immediately. They'd changed the cool disposition of high alpha, the low temperature evolved specifically to soothe an omega in heat. The regimen of baths, hot drinks, and layered clothing for an unmated high alpha had no longer been necessary or comfortable. 

A few days back on the pill should have made him neutral like before. But it hadn't. And Eggsy’s anxiety spiked.

He did the only thing he could think of. He called his mum.

“Afternoon, love. I’m just setting Daisy for lunch. Can I call ya back later?” The clang of dishes and Daisy’s squeals could be heard over the line.

Eggsy sunk low in the water. Steam fogged his vision and he sighed. “Yeah, mum, that’d be great.”

But Michelle didn’t hang up. She placed a piece of fruit on the tray for her daughter and handed her a piece of cheese. 

“Mummy’ll be right over here, darling,” Eggsy heard her say over his sister’s cheers for the snack. 

“Eggsy?” His mother's voice paired with a whine of concern as she stood apart from her two-year-old. “What’s wrong?”

He must have sounded as bad as he felt. “My meds aren’t working. The ones I take for the job.”

Michelle knew her son wasn’t really a tailor, though she kept the facade for the safety of them all. “OK. What’s that mean for you, hon? You sound as though you’ve taken ill.”

“Yeah. Cold as rut. Colder than, maybe. But it feels different. I’m not…” Eggsy’s voice trembled. “I can’t stop shaking, mum.”

Michelle placed a hand on her chest and tried to will her heart to slow its frantic beating. “What’d the doctors say?”

“I can’t tell ‘em.” Eggsy hadn't snapped at his mum since he was pubescent and ignorant to her history. But at the idea of losing Kingsman, he came close. “May lose my spot if I do.”

Michelle understood that Eggsy’s place among Kingsman -- whatever they truly were -- was important to him. And it had saved their lives in more ways than one. It had kept her and Daisy safe, found them a house of their own far from the influence of her ex. 

“Come home, love,” Michelle suggested. “We’ll figure it out.”

Eggsy didn’t want to argue. To have his mum’s warm arms around him was a tempting invitation, but he felt anchored to London. 

“Don’t think I can go,” he said. “Kingsman need me now.”

Michelle couldn't stand to be away from her pup, even grown, when he was frightened and alone. Her whine was high, piercing Eggsy's resolve.

“Well ya can’t be much use til we get you well, right?” she asked, hopeful.

There was truth in that.

They talked logistics and Eggsy agreed to speak with Merlin about a trip to Wales in the morning.

“We’ll get this sorted and you’ll be right as rain.” Michelle was wonderful at hiding lies in confidence. “See you soon, darling.”

“Yeah, mum. Soon.”

****

****~**~****

****~**~****

Thursday morning found Merlin sat at his desk nibbling soup crackers. His stomach grumbled for more, but even though it was nearly time for lunch Merlin was cautious of eating anything heavier than crackers and weak tea.

He hovered over his work, updating manuals for Kelsey. The change of roles to Arthur had been so abrupt, Merlin hadn’t had the opportunity to update the list and protocols of Kingsman Quartermaster responsibilities in well over a year. Now, as preparing Kelsey to take Control was priority, Merlin set aside the mess left by Chester and made the time.

Work was coming easier now, at least in his office. He was experiencing longer stretches between bouts of nausea and actually started feeling productive.

Merlin took a sip of tea and cracked another oyster cracker between his teeth. 

Typing up information for the new Quartermaster came quickly. It was all in his brain waiting for transfer to the document at his fingertips. When there was a knock on the door, he didn’t bother looking up.

“Ye can let yourself in.”

Eggsy stood just inside the doorway bundled in a peacoat and scarf. Members of staff raised an eyebrow at him as he passed them in the hall, but no matter how ridiculous he looked, Eggsy couldn’t take them off. It was the first day of autumn, after all -- and to Eggsy, 20 degrees felt like 3.

“Arthur, may I sit? Won’t take much time, I hope.” 

Merlin gestured to the chair in front of his desk. “Just a minute more and ye can have my full attention, lad.”

The corner of Eggsy’s mouth turned up in a half-smile. It had been a long time since Merlin had addressed him so familiarly. 

Eggsy rubbed at his arms to help the blood flow, though it had done less and less to warm him recently. 

He looked around as he waited for Merlin to finish up. The shelves were nearly full again, this time with what Eggsy guessed were books from Merlin’s office and home collection. There was a painting on the wall above the sofa. A landscape. It smelled like oils. Eggsy wondered if the depiction of a green field and jagged cliffs reminded Merlin of Scotland.

“Can I help ye with something?” Merlin eyed Eggsy’s attire with a hint of a frown. He recognized the signs of a fever in alpha, though for Merlin it was different. Even in his light-weight summer jumpers he’d been feeling hotter than hell. “Can’t shake the damn thing either, I see.” 

“Nah, not really.” Eggsy absent-mindedly tugged at his scarf. “Look, um, ya think I could take some leave? Me mum asked if I was able to get to Wales and--”

The question hit Merlin in the chest. It wasn’t what he expected. At the ill and sullen look Eggsy was giving him, Merlin warred with conflict. 

On the one hand, he wanted to grant Eggsy’s request. Without question, if it would make the man happy, Eggsy deserved time to help his family and get well. Contrariwise, the mere thought of seeing Eggsy go tied Merlin in knots.

His desire to care for Eggsy’s well-being won out. “Certainly, ye can. Your family needs ye.”

Eggsy fussed with the edge of his coat as the scent of Merlin’s disapproval carried through the room. “If there’s any work can be done remotely… Not trying to leave ya short-handed here. There’s just things I need to take care of.”

Merlin pressed his lips together, tight enough they were white. “I’m sure I can find something. But ye first take a few days getting settled.”

“Thank you, sir.” Eggsy thought he was supposed to feel relief. Instead, he felt riddled with guilt and apprehension. 

“How long do ye think you’ll need to get your affairs in order?”

Eggsy wasn’t sure. He fidgeted with the buttons of his coat as he tried to come up with a reasonable estimate. “A week or two?” 

His last rut was a few days, the one before that had been almost nine. Eggsy tried to keep the time frame open, just in case this turned into something more than his body adjusting to the suppressants. “I can’t really say until I know what’s going on.”

Merlin nodded and his expression went soft. There was something deeply troubling Eggsy; he didn’t need to add to whatever it was by demanding more than the man could give.

The paperwork for leave was easier than Eggsy anticipated. Few details were recorded beyond contact information and requested dates of absence. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Eggsy felt it was important to tell Merlin while broadcasting his sincerity as clearly as possible.

Merlin sat back, startled by the force of it; Eggsy noticed his flinch against the scent and wished he could reign it back in.

“Ye keep in touch. There’ll be work for ye when you’re able.”

Eggsy stood to shake Merlin’s hand in farewell. It felt so warm; for the brief moment of contact, the ache in his fingers was gone. 

As they released, Eggsy saw the color fade from Merlin’s cheeks, felt the sinking of his heart in his own chest. 

Merlin set his attention to his computer. Eggsy looked away to keep from staring.

His eyes fell to the glasses on Merlin’s desk. Set beside them were a pocket square and a matchbook. 

“I didn’t know Harry smoked,” Eggsy blurted out. It felt like he was stalling. He didn’t care.

Merlin lifted his eyes from his work, his expression unreadable. “We all did at some point. As for Harry, there’s a lot you don’t know.” It was harsh, Merlin knew. And unfair to respond to Eggsy with offense. 

It wasn’t the agent’s fault he’d not been given more time with his mentor, their friend. It wasn’t Eggsy’s fault he was leaving.

Fearful of parting ways on bad terms, Merlin was quick with his apology. 

Eggsy recalled Allie mentioning mood swings experienced by some staff and took it now as a warning.

With a shrug, he forgave. “No worries. We’re all on edge nowadays. Understand this all hits you more’n us.” He took a breath before releasing a gentle peace, doing his damnedest to fill the room with subtle tranquility. Eggsy doubted it would last long, and after everything, Eggsy hoped Merlin wouldn’t object.

“I’ll send word when I’ve arrived. And give a firm date of return as soon as I’m able.”

“Be safe,” Merlin said by way of goodbye. “Best regards to your kin.” 

He watched Eggsy go until he had closed the door behind him. When the man was gone, Merlin inhaled the scent of Eggsy left in his wake. His gaze landed on his da’s favorite piece of art -- a painting hung on the wall across from his desk -- and Merlin thought of home.

****

****~**~****

The bullet train arrived just as Eggsy stepped onto the platform. He shuddered against the gust of air from the track and reached to retie his scarf. It was then he realized it was longer about his shoulders.

Eggsy stared down at himself, perplexed. Apparently, sometime during his talk with Merlin, he had unfastened the buttons of his coat as well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your interest and support! <3  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter.

****

****~**~****

After almost a week of caring for her son and seeing no improvement, Michelle demanded to know what was really going in.

Eggsy handed over the bottle of pills he had been dutifully taking each night and slipped his hand back under his cocoon of blankets.

Michelle paced the room as she typed the name into her phone’s web browser. 

“There’s nothing here,” she mumbled, scrolling through the results of her internet search. 

When she had exhausted her patience with the web and come up with bupkis, she stopped in her tracks. 

“Eggsy, what the hell is this?” Though she spoke in whispers not to disturb her napping daughter, her tone was scathing. 

“The suppressant mum,” Eggsy explained from his spot at the kitchen island. 

Bundled in a down comforter, he huffed at her in frustration. “It's what helps me pass as neutral. Essential for my job that we not be distracted or identified by scents. Too easily manipulated by blockers and perfumes.”

“Mhmm,” she nodded. “Don’t want tailors or their patrons distracted when taking measurements.”

Eggsy’s jaw dropped, but his mother’s gentle smile let him know it was going to be OK. 

“Yep,” he agreed flat. “That’s it precisely.”

“Love, I understand the job’s important to you, but I don't like this.” Michelle tried to read the label aloud, her lips moving as she tripped over the syllables. She shook her head, giving up. 

Holding the bottle with a sneer, she said, “I think this stuff is what's making you sick.”

Eggsy watched his mum stash the pills on a high shelf and shut the cabinet behind her. If Daisy hadn’t been sleeping, he imagined she would have slammed the little door. 

“You need to be seen by a _real_ doctor,” she said, infuriated by the persons she had been referring to as ‘Kingsman hacks’ since he arrived. Dialing the number, she growled, “As soon as they have availability, of course.”

Eggsy pulled his mother’s blanket tighter around his shoulders. He knew what she meant. 

Discretion for high alphas and omegas was hard to come by and harder still to find locally. Who knew if there was even a doctor in Wales they could trust?

In England, his mother travelled an hour into the country to see her specialist and often waited weeks for an appointment. He didn’t want to be away that long. 

Truthfully, ever since he boarded the train to Wrexham Eggsy wanted to turn back.

“October tenth,” Michelle announced with a roll of her eyes.

“Bloody hell, no fucking way!”

“That’s less than two weeks. You’re lucky they had cancellations.”

A violent shiver had his teeth chattering. “I feel lucky, yeah.”

Michelle wrapped her arms around her son and guided his face to her neck. 

“Mum, what if I work through this? Come back for the appointment, eh?” 

His mother lifted an eyebrow at her son. “And how would ya get anything done? Haven’t seen no part of ya but your face in the past three days.”

Eggsy cuddled into his mum, scenting her deep as he could. It helped, a little. But he knew she was right. 

****

****

**~**~**

Merlin sat at The Table running numbers with Dale and wondering why they couldn’t have done the work in Arthur’s office. No, _his_ office now. He still wasn’t used to it, no matter it had been nearly a month.

The smells of old leather and the disgusting vases of flowers in the conference room made Merlin gag. He dabbed sweat from his neck, begging time to speed up. 

Bedeviere insisted the roses would “brighten the place up,” but Merlin was sure they would choke him if the meeting dragged out much longer. 

He rubbed his stomach as butterflies stirred. Remembered the scent of a friend.

“If this is all,” Merlin said as he signed off on… _What was this?_ Merlin squinted at the Human Resources Manager and back to the paperwork. _Oh, of course. The new hire for technical support._

__Merlin set his pen to paper, happier he wasn’t putting together yet another staff member’s forced severance package. “I have other business to attend to.” At least those meetings could be held at his own desk._ _

__“Last one, Arthur,” Dale said as he waited._ _

__When all was signed and dated, Merlin slid the forms across the table and stood. “Good day to you.”_ _

__Merlin made his way down the hall swiftly. He’d be happy when he could finally get back to his office. There, he didn’t mind the leather upholstery or care that Eggsy had been too ill to call in the cleaners. It smelled nice, inviting, peaceful._ _

__An alert pinged Merlin’s glasses. Lancelot. _Shit._ Had their meeting started already? He stopped his stride. His still tender stomach would be upset if he watched the glasses’ display while walking. He accepted the call._ _

__An image of Lancelot’s reflection smiled at Merlin through the feed._ _

__“Green or black?” she asked, holding a cuppa in each hand._ _

__Merlin rubbed his eyes. What he wanted was a cold compress for his forehead and a nap, but those would have to wait. Three meetings were scheduled after hers, back to back._ _

__“Is this your way of informing me you’ll be running late?”_ _

__“No, sir.” Lancelot put the mugs down and lifted a hand to her lens. “I’ll be there.”_ _

__“I’ll have something herbal, I think,” he announced before she cut the call._ _

__Merlin watched Lancelot reach for a chamomile blend that boasted notes of vanilla and honey. “No, no. What else is there?” Weeks of fitful sleep had him sick of useless chamomile. And the added flavors sounded too sweet for his tastes._ _

__Her hand moved slightly left._ _

__“Nothing fruity,” Merlin said as her hand passed along the assorted boxes. “Not mint.”_ _

__He started walking toward the kitchenette with a sigh. “What the hell is a ‘Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride’?” he asked, reading from the packaging. “Where’s the _tea_?”_ _

__Lancelot winced and rubbed at her ear. “You wanted herbal. This is the cabinet of herbal.”_ _

__There was something oddly irritating about Merlin’s voice when he complained. She never noticed it before he took Arthur’s seat. But then, she didn’t think she had heard him complain before V-Day either._ _

__Merlin stepped into the break room with a scowl. “Who did this?” he asked, removing his glasses and using them to point at the well-stocked shelves._ _

__“I really wouldn’t know. There’s a receipt here from a shop in Bedford.” Lancelot handed it over. “Do you want me to look into it?”_ _

__Lancelot was glad Merlin was staring so intently at the slip of paper in his hands. He couldn’t see her rolling her eyes at what a waste of time an investigation like that would be._ _

__Merlin’s hand soothed a pinched feeling in his abdomen as he read the shopping list over and over. Mundane things, ridiculous things, all accounted for. He grit his teeth against the tickle in his nose, bit back the tears that were forming in his eyes._ _

__Merlin cleared his throat to keep his composure. “Pick out something silly, Lancelot.” But his voice broke at that anyway. “I’m in the mood for something silly.”_ _

__Lancelot frowned at the change in Merlin, but thought better than to ask. Reaching toward the back of the cabinet, she grabbed an unopened package. It’s name was silly enough. Lancelot stripped it of cellophane and took out a bag for Merlin to smell. “Not truly an herbal--”_ _

__“It’s fine,” Merlin said without a glance up from the receipt still in his hand. He could smell the energizing blend of black tea and roasted mate. “I’ll take it as it is.”_ _

__“Good, sir.” Lancelot returned the milk to the ice box. “I can bring it up for you, if you’d like to go on ahead.”_ _

__Merlin shook his head. “Thank you, Lancelot,” he said, taking the cuppa from counter as it steeped._ _

__“Sure. You’re welcome, sir.”_ _

__Merlin looked up suddenly, as if being woken from a daydream. He met Lancelot’s eyes and raised his mug with a nod. “Well, cheers.” After taking a sip and giving a small sound of contentment, Merlin stuck the receipt into his pocket and led the way to his office._ _

__The meeting with Lancelot was efficient, but the matters they discussed -- though vital -- were repetitive and boring. But boring was good, was safe. Boring meant no one was plotting against Kingsman from within._ _

__Still, Merlin was grateful for the bit of caffeine in his cup. After not drinking anything stronger than chamomile for weeks, it felt wonderful to have energy again._ _

__Finally, their business was complete and it was onto the following meeting. And the one after that. Finally, Merlin sat with Bedeviere to discuss the next step of operations._ _

__Even through the steady stream of work and agents, however, his office felt emptier than before. As if, each time the door opened, a bit of contentment slipped out and a bit of loneliness crept in._ _

__Bedeviere spoke of those employed as Kingsman support. “Interviews have been conducted throughout staff, Arthur. But, I’m sorry, sir; the employees through the medical wing are a different nut. Don’t really know what questions to ask without Gawain and Percy.”_ _

__Merlin nodded and his anxieties ran high. Once the medical wing’s security was breached, it could only be a matter of time before his identity as omega would be revealed to the newer agents and staff._ _

__Though there weren’t many older agents left, Merlin wondered how many of them had forgotten he had been labeled beta-o._ _

__“Confidentiality for everyone will be an issue,” Merlin stated. “Med Staff has been trained to guard Kingsman medical records with their lives or to destroy them.”_ _

__Bedeviere pressed his steepled fingers to his lips. “Who’s in charge down there?”_ _

__“Way they speak, dinnae think it was Arthur they answered to. Not directly.”_ _

__“Or they did… answer directly to Chester. And won’t be straight with you now that he’s gone.”_ _

__Merlin’s heart raced. He kept looking to his right, expecting to see something, feel something that wasn’t there. No wave of calm washed over him. No blue-eyed face offered the reassurance of a smile._ _

__“I’m sorry, Arthur. Perhaps that crossed a line.”_ _

__Merlin busied himself with a walk across the room. He poured them glasses of water as Bedeviere made his apologies._ _

__“It could be as ye say,” Merlin admitted. There was little to prove otherwise._ _

__Dr Klein had barely inquired after him when he had fallen ill. Some agents and staff expressed their gladness at Merlin’s improvement, but Medical staff hadn’t looked twice. If they had been loyal Chester King, there would be resentments; there could be dissention._ _

___Could also be ye been ignoring the wing in its entirety._ A little voice chirped in his ear._ _

__“Delicately.” Bedeviere suggested. “That's the approach we take. I'll be cautious,” he promised with the bow of his head. “Will you put the lot of us on this assignment?”_ _

__“Nae.” Merlin's first suggestions would have been Gawain, then Percival. Eggsy sprang to mind, but even he was halfway across the country. “Gareth and Lam.”_ _

__Bedeviere made a note in his tablet and sent word to his team. “We will not fail you, sir.”_ _

__“Do what your best, old friend. I will assist as I can.”_ _

__“You have your station, Arthur. We have ours. We have K; she’ll prove herself as Merlin when given the chance.” Bedeviere stood and Merlin did the same. “You’ll have news as soon as we have it to give.”_ _

__Merlin dismissed him, but furrowed his brow when Bedeviere ducked behind the desk._ _

__“Slid off the chair as I stood.” He handed over a length of wool with a chuckle. “Early in the season, isn't it?”_ _

__With a word of thanks, Merlin held the scarf in his hands and felt heat rise from his core._ _

__“Do you want me to open a window before I leave?”_ _

__“Why would I want that?” Merlin asked, distracted by the fabric running through his fingers._ _

__Bedeviere shrugged. “Getting warm in here, is all.”_ _

__“Oh.” Merlin thought about it as he draped Eggsy’s scarf over the back of his chair. “I feel rather comfortable like this, thank you.”_ _

__”All right, then. Have a good night, Arthur.”_ _

__“And to you, Patrick.”_ _

__Alone, with hours of work ahead of him, Merlin stretched. He wanted to take advantage of the quiet of night. Keeping late hours, he hoped, would let him catch up with the work Chester should have been doing for years._ _

__For weeks Merlin had so little control over his body. Now that he could keep food down and get work done, Merlin felt like he was in control of something -- and he liked to keep the ball moving._ _

__But when he sat down to his computer after Bedeviere left, Merlin’s eyes felt heavy with fatigue._ _

__Part of the reason he started filling his days with meetings was due to him nodding off at his desk so often while working alone at his computer. Keeping himself occupied was good for everyone._ _

__The sooner Kingsman’s foundation was on firm, level ground, the sooner their operations could be up and running again._ _

__He knew his agents were anxious to be out in the field. Their frustrations lay not only in their inability to use their skills and training. Sure, they were getting antsy to put their skills into action. But it was really knowing there were criminals at large and not being able to eliminate them that was fraying their nerves._ _

__Merlin had to admit, it was wearing on him as well._ _

__Jerking his head up from a nod, Merlin rubbed his eyes and took out his phone. He itched to make a call, to ask how things were coming along with in Wales. He considered assigning Eggsy a file to review, just so he had a reason to talk to him for a minute._ _

__Merlin rubbed at an ache, low in his belly as Eggsy’s picture came up in their text window. The tousled hair and watery red eyes pulled a whine from Merlin’s throat. He knew Eggsy had gone to take care of family issues; but he worried if anyone would be taking care of Eggsy._ _

__Merlin took the scarf from his chair, soothed by the soft fibers against his wrists and hands._ _

__Resting his elbows on the desk, Merlin brought his hands up and prayed. The refreshing scent of Eggsy overwhelmed Merlin’s senses as he whispered words of expectation and hope for Eggsy’s safe and swift return._ _

__Merlin tried not to think about the personal reasons he wanted Eggsy around. When Eggsy spoke up at The Table, it thrilled Merlin -- frightening him with the intensity buzzing just over Eggsy’s skin. But there was also a deep sense of security in Eggsy’s defense of Merlin as Arthur that charged the air between them._ _

__Eggsy was the right fit for Galahad, Merlin reasoned. Arthur needed a Galahad of Eggsy’s nature at his right hand._ _

__With everything going on at HQ -- and Bedeviere’s new mission -- the Kingsman needed Galahad back._ _

__****_ _

****

**~**~**

Eggsy moped around his mother’s house, feeling guilty and discouraged. His day was an endless loop of baths, tea, soup. When his mum was at work and Daisy at her playgroup, Eggsy adjusted the thermostat, but it did little to help and drove up the electric bill.

The best times of day were after supper, when he, mum, and Daisy would cuddle up in Eggsy’s cocoon of blankets. On his mother’s wide bed, they watched movies until they fell asleep. The hours of warmth relieved his tired muscles from the tension of constant shivering, but his own sleep was fitful. 

Eggsy never felt quite right; the cold never left his bones.

He was literally surrounded by family, but it wasn’t enough to drive away the odd feeling of homesickness that lingered. The full omega and tiny beta-o did their part trying to drive away the chill, but Eggsy's mind drifted to the odd relief he'd felt with just the simple touch of Merlin's hand.

When his mother and sister had fallen to sleep, he put on his specs. He’d been thinking about contacting Merlin for a little over a week. After confirming his arrival in Wrexham, Eggsy impatiently waited for a message from Merlin -- an assignment from Arthur. But none had come through.

There was always the option of being first to reach out, but without significant progress in his condition, Eggsy worried Merlin would look into his Medical Records and find out who he was. Kingsman had already asked him to be a research subject in terms of the hormone suppressant. Eggsy didn’t want to be under closer scrutiny -- or be judged for who he couldn’t help but be.

Merlin wouldn’t treat him differently though. At least, that’s what Eggsy tried to convince himself.

He leaned back on the pillow, begging for sleep, and raised his hand to the frames of his glasses. Almost on autopilot, he logged in to Harry’s feed.

At first, Eggsy kept his eyes closed. He listened to the soft tapping of fingers on the keyboard. The little sounds of Merlin working calmed Eggsy at his core. The clicks, sighs, and rustle of papers played quietly over the feed as Eggsy breathed in the scents of his mum’s home. 

The combination was almost enough to put him to sleep. But the office sounds came to a pause and Eggsy opened his eyes to look.. He saw, Merlin cradling a mobile phone in his hands.

Merlin seemed to be reading something. He wasn’t touching the screen but to pinch-zoom in and out. With the screen angled away from Harry’s camera, Eggsy couldn't get a clear visual on it. 

In his office, Merlin sat, distracted again by thoughts of Eggsy’s absence. He looked into the photo of Eggsy's blue eyes staring up at him, and felt an overwhelming sense of longing for the lad.

He missed Eggsy's voice and smile, and now that he was familiar with his scent, he couldn't get it out of his mind.

When Merlin didn't think he could resist the urge to call any longer, his phone beeped with a message.

‘I thought you were going to send me some work, gov.’

Eggsy heard a soft sound and wished he could see Merlin's face. The desire was enough to jar Eggsy to the reality that he was spying on his friend, again. He screwed up his mouth and chewed his lip. Although he wanted to remain in the room with Merlin -- as much as the specs would allow -- Eggsy closed the connection to Harry's glasses and lifted his own off his nose. 

Merlin took a minute to respond. 'So you're feeling better, I take it.’

The week off suppressants and the care of his mum had done him some good. He wasn’t getting sick as often, and the regimen of blankets, baths, and soups made the cold bearable.

'Well enough to do my job. And things at home are coming along, I think. I have some time each day.’ Eggsy missed Kingsman, the bustle of activity at the estate. He missed Merlin. 'You any better?’

 _No_ , Merlin thought. But it was a lie to himself. 

Physically, he was only experiencing some nausea during the evenings. 'A fair bit better,’ he admitted. ‘Thank ye for asking.’

Merlin wanted to ask if Eggsy thought his situation in Wales would resolve itself soon, but he knew his wish for Eggsy to hurry things along was selfish and unjustified. If the agent was asking for work, Merlin had his doubts Eggsy was on his way back/. 

Passing Eggsy's scarf through his hands, he released his disappointment and waited for his phone to beep again.

‘So ya have some files to send over?’

'There'll be a list for you in the morning.’

'Great.’

Merlin laid the scarf over the back of his chair, where it had resided since Eggsy left it in the office. He logged off the system and headed for home. 

Sure enough, as he entered the bullet train, his stomach began its familiar churn. He laid his head back and breathed through it. A quick stop at the corner pharmacy was in order. Perhaps there was something gentle he could take to stave off the sick.

The bell above the shop rang, almost drowning out the sound of an incoming text. Merlin fished his phone out of his pocket as he went to the aisle for a box of anti-nausea patches.

'Good night, gov,’ Merlin read as he grabbed a box from the shelf and brought it up to the register. ‘Talk to ya in the morning.’

Merlin smiled down at his phone as he typed out a reply. 'And to you, lad. Bye for now.’

Behind the counter, an elderly pharmacist adjusted her white coat with a smile. Softly, she greeted him, her Irish accent thick and smile wide, “Well ain't ye a happy Daddy.”

“Beg your pardon?’ Merlin narrowed his eyes at the woman. He took in her appearance and name within seconds, storing it for later in case investigation was in order.

“Got a brood of me own,” Leah said. “Home overrun with grandchildren. And you, with how sensitive your nose has gotten, sure ye can scent me out clear enough.”

Merlin nodded. Beneath the commercial blocker, she was omega as well.

Leah took the box and read the label. “For you?” She shook her head, tutting, and looked along the counter for a jewelry stand. She picked a bracelet for him instead, clipping it immediately onto his wrist. “Works just as well and won't interfere with the babe. On any medications?”

Merlin hesitated. 

“Only a short list for what’s safe in your condition. I'll put a slip in your bag with prenatals.”

Merlin didn’t need the slip to know the suppressants didn’t make the list. 

He looked down at himself. “How can ye tell?” If anything, he had lost weight the past month; his stomach was smooth as ever, though it felt tight with bloat. 

“Have to be careful what we share, much of the old tradition’s been lost or forgotten.” The pharmacist touched the side of her nose. “But there’s all matter of things we can sniff out, if ye know what you’re doing.” 

Merlin knew the stories. The crusades. Beta kings driving down the populations of omegas and what alphas used to be. Out of jealousy and, more than that, fear.

“I should probably get a test,” Merlin said in a daze. “To be sure.”

“To be certain,” Leah agreed. There were a whole line of them on display below the register. To help him in his indecision, the pharmacist took one and dropped it in with his purchases. “On the house,” she said with a wink.

Merlin settled his bill, aghast with disbelief. 

****

****~**~****

Finally, 10 October and the 2 hour drive to Kendal, had arrived.

Michelle and Daisy remained in the waiting room as Eggsy went back to see the doctor.

Dr. Dewey exchanged greetings with Eggsy, projecting tranquility and confidence into the exam room. Immediately, Eggsy scented the omega’s kind-hearted nature.

“And will your partner be joining us today?” Dr. Dewey asked.

Though the question wasn’t malicious, Eggsy couldn’t help but feel defensive and sad. He was having less control over his emotions recently, especially while at his mother’s, where he was free to be himself. 

“No,” Eggsy answered. “I don’t have a--”

The scent of the nurse’s pity was strong. Eggsy fought not to react in anger.

“They’re at work,” Eggsy quickly threw out a lie as good as Kingsman had ever taught.. 

The doctor hummed and made a note. “Omega, yes?” he asked, still checking boxes.

“No, um, that was my mum on the phone. She made the appointment for me.”

The doctor looked up, amused. “Wasn’t asking about your mum.”

“My mate? Um, he’s…” Eggsy thought hard about the way Merlin responded to his scent. The question of why he chose Merlin as a stand-in for his partner didn’t even cross his mind. “Beta-a?” Everyone at Kingsman was beta-a, as far as Eggsy had been informed during his candidacy.

“You don’t know?” The doctor put his clipboard down and rolled his stool closer. He had Eggsy turn his head this way and that as he started his inspection.

“Well, we never…”

“But you said you are mated.”

“I did? No, I--”

“Engaged?” A congratulatory air came off the doctor. He sounded almost impressed. “Waiting for the full ceremony? Old fashioned, but very romantic. Don’t think I heard that of alpha variant marriages before.”

“My grandparents had that.” Eggsy remembered the stories of their wedding. 

“Alphas?”

“High alpha and omega.” Eggsy said wistfully, his mind still on the past. “Like me and Merlin.”

The doctor sat back with an easy smile. “See. Was that so hard? You don’t have to worry here, sir. Our confidentiality is held at the highest standard.”

Eggsy laid back as the nurse instructed and the doctor continued his exam, chattering all the while. 

“Now, your urine sample shows some funky stuff in there. You’re a young guy, I’m not going to tell you how to live, but be careful. The blood test will tell us more, but I think if you lay off whatever Saturday night cocktails the kids are cooking up these days you’ll be fine. We can follow up in a month or two. 

“As for rut,” the doctor shook his head, “unlikely you’ll see one for a while. Just not seeing the markers.”

Eggsy nodded. He knew his blood test would come back strange, but he didn’t think his doctor would assume he was using recreational drugs. That was rather naive on his part, Eggsy realized.

“My advice,” the doctor continued. “Cut out the parties. Let that omega of yours snuggle up and take care of you until that crap is out of your system. Travel. Romance each other. You and Marilyn, enjoy life before kids.”

Eggsy couldn’t get past the part where the doctor kept talking to him like he was someone with little care for what they put in their body. But no matter how confidential this office was supposed to be, letting the doctor hold that assumption was better than him knowing about Kingsman.

It didn’t hit Eggsy that the doctor had referred to his partner by a name -- by omega -- until he and his mum were well into the drive home. Eggsy stared blankly ahead at the long and winding road ahead of them.

“I have to go home.”

Michelle checked the navigation system. “All right, love. Another hour or so to Wrexham.”

“No, mum. I have to get back.” Eggsy held wrung his hands in his lap. “To Kingsman.”


	5. Chapter 5

****~**~****

On his walk home from Kingsman tailors, Merlin passed under street lamps and shop signs without noticing one. He was at his front door, fiddling with his keys and letting himself in, before he recognized the area.

It had gone like that the past 48 hours. Merlin carried himself through the world in a hazy wash of colors and sounds. Every bump and gurgle of digestion had his hand twitching to rub his belly, to the pup that was surely too small to feel. 

Each time he laid his hand on his abdomen, however, disbelief returned in a rush. It was easier to deny the truth.

If what the pharmacist had said was true, then Leah had sniffed him out and known, at once, more about him than he knew about himself. The hormone suppressants had been useless at both preventing and hiding his condition. 

If it was true, Merlin’s condition wouldn’t go unnoticed for much longer. The Kingsman would know. The Medical Staff -- wherever their loyalty stood -- would want to handle his pregnancy. 

The pharmacy bag sat on the kitchen counter, as it had been since he came home with it two days prior. He reached for it and a familiar spike in anxiety shot up his spine. 

For not the first time since receiving the news, Merlin's hand came out of the bag with a box of test sticks. This time, he put his nail to the cellophane and broke the seal.  
Ten minutes later, he was dumping suppressants out of his prescription bottle and replacing them with prenatal vitamins. He wiped at his eyes and squinted at the list of unfamiliar doctors. If only his ma or granda were around to tell him it would be OK, to guide him in the decisions to come.

Hands on the hard swell of his belly, only noticed because he felt for it, Merlin tossed and turned through the night. 

Merlin passed the hours talking to memories of people who weren’t there. 

****~**~****

****~**~****

Eggsy paced his mum's sitting room with a light blanket about his shoulders and his phone in his hands. His mind raced toward Kingsman with questions and revelations. But he'd made a promise to his mother; he'd stay out the week in Wrexham.

The tea Dr Dewey suggested flushed out Eggsy's system as hoped. Eggsy’s temperature was evening out -- still cool, but baseline for him. Rather than merely count the hours from one bath, cuppa, and cuddle to the next, he figured he'd be good as he could be in a few days time. 

Eggsy tapped at the screen of his phone as he tried to figure out what he would say to Merlin. His heart raced. He was almost certain he was setting himself up to stick his foot in his mouth. 

Eggsy wished for his fingers to slip. To accidentally send a gibberish text to Merlin seemed like a stroke of luck. Then, he could apologize and it wouldn’t be like he was desperate to check in on him. 

 

A text message came through at dawn, and Merlin certainly had not set Eggsy's ringtone to vibrate so that even on silent he wouldn't miss his calls.

'Hey’

Merlin held his phone to his chest. His heart was beating so hard it masked the vibration of the second incoming message.

'Hope I'm not waking ya.’

Merlin glanced at the clock and wondered if Eggsy was just getting up or, like himself, hadn’t yet fallen asleep. 

'Hey to you.’ Merlin answered. ‘I'm up.’

Goosebumps rose on Merlin’s arms as he waited for Eggsy to respond. He didn't have words for how much he appreciated the casual moments they shared. Even the agents he had been working with for decades seemed wary of crossing the line of familiarity with their new Arthur. 

As his outgoing message sat idly on the screen, Merlin curled onto his side. He huddled against a pillow and refused to admit, even to himself, how very much he missed the lad. 

Eggsy fumbled the phone as he walked, failing to hold the blanket with one hand and text with the other. 

“Bollocks,” Eggsy mumbled as the mobile landed hard on his toe. He stooped to grab it from the carpet. The call button next to Merlin's icon found his thumb and Eggsy let it ring. 

Merlin sat up as Eggsy's name took up the whole of his screen. “Hullo?” 

“Hey. Dropped the fuckin’ phone one too many times.” Eggsy held the blanket tighter. “This ok?”

Merlin leaned back against the headboard, “Mhmm. How is your family?”

“They’re good.” Eggsy went to the window and looked out to the street. The clouds had captured the colors of the rising sun. “They like it here.”

“It’s a beautiful city.”

Eggsy shrugged. He’d been in town a few times during his stay. There were shops and buildings all around. Even the little suburb where his mum lived felt crowded. “Think I’d prefer the country.”

“Oh?” Merlin tried to picture Eggsy without his suits, trackies, or designer trainers. He smiled. 

“You lived in both, yeah? What do you prefer?”

With his eyes closed, Merlin could pretend Eggsy was sitting next to him as they had their chat. “Country. The city moves too quickly for my taste, makes everything so urgent.”

“That what you wanted then? Before Kingsman? A slow life in the country, working in the dirt?”

“It’s hard to know what it is ye want,” Merlin said, pulling his knees toward his chest and finding it less comfortable than he had anticipated. “Life has a way of making decisions for ye.”

Eggsy sat at the window bench and rested in the corner. It was almost like having Merlin at his back. “Maybe.”

Merlin's voice dropped to a whisper. “Aye. Maybe.” 

“Are you OK?”

Merlin kept his eyes closed. Reached his hand out to his right. Pretended the cool pillow was Eggsy's hand. 

“Having trouble wrapping my mind around what I’m supposed to do next,” he admitted. It was so easy to speak like this. Almost enough to share the whole truth. “Ye ever feel like it’s all too much?”

Eggsy pressed his back harder into the nook where he sat. “Gov, my dad died when I was six. Young enough it took me months -- years -- to understand he wasn’t coming home.”

It still made his heart seize to talk about. “Old enough that I remember how brilliant he was.” 

Merlin made him want to face the pain, made him feel strong enough to bare it. “Went most of my life feeling it was all too much. But I say that to tell ya this: You’re the smartest, strongest bloke I know. No matter what it is, you’ll handle it. I’ll help ya get through.”

Merlin released a heavy, broken sigh.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Eggsy offered, softer than before. “I mean, I’m in bloody Wales for a while longer but…” 

He picked at a frayed bit of yarn, feeling further than the kilometers. “Whatever ya need, yeah?”

Merlin rubbed at his watering eyes. “Eggsy,” he swallowed hard and his heart twisted. Merlin could tell him everything, could say two words and have it all in the open. He pushed past the lump in his throat. “I have to go.” 

“Did I say something wrong?”

Merlin sniffed as he shook his head. “Think it best I hang up before you hear a grown man cry.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes dramatically, assuming Merlin's sarcasm. “Har. Har. If ya want to get me off the phone all ya have to say is ‘bye’.”

Merlin was quiet as he tried desperately to hold onto his secrets. 

“I’ll talk to ya later then, yeah?”

Merlin brought the pillow closer. “Aye.”

****

****~**~****

In the business hours of morning, Merlin went about Kingsman as usual. The agents briefed him on their progress through staff, discussions continued about problems popping up around the world, and the investigation into medical staff continued to go nowhere.

Merlin received notice Eggsy had finished his assignments and his heart flipped. It would be so easy to call him, to hear his voice again. Merlin didn’t know why that was such an important need to fulfill. He ignored it and sent a set of files to Roxy with instructions for her to prioritize and forward them to Eggsy. 

It took a bit of finagling, but when Merlin was sure his internet search would be secure even from the eyes of Kelsey and Control, he looked up the omega doctors and midwives one by one. 

He put a mark next to a name and supplanted the internet history with less suspicious sites.

It took several hours before Merlin summoned the courage to contact the doctor in Kendal. He played a layered white noise track in his office, to mask his words from agents and staff passing by the door, and waited for the phone to ring.

“This is the office of Drs. Dewey, Handel, and Holland. How may I direct your call?”

Merlin cleared his throat. “I’d like to make an appointment to be seen. As soon as possible.”

“Is this an emergency?”

“I’m…” Merlin didn’t think he could say the word aloud.

“Is this an emergency?” They repeated. “Where are you?” The person handling the call sounded concerned but composed.

“I thought I was infertile,” Merlin whispered and it was enough.

“Prenatal appointment, then?” The receptionist waited for Merlin’s hum of confirmation and continued. “How far along are you?”

Merlin thought back and his hands shook. The last time he had been intimate was before Argentina. Before Lancelot had found Dr. Arnold. Before Gazelle made sure that man would never again wear his silly suits. 

“Second trimester?” Merlin guessed. “I’m not… showing.”

“Different body types show differently. Not to worry.” She flipped through the calendar to find an open slot. “We have time on the 22nd.”

“That’s almost two weeks away.”

“Ten days.” She sounded apologetic as she corrected him. 

There wasn’t much she could do by way of availability. Almost everyone gave a hard time about their appointment dates, but she started writing anyway. 

“I’m putting you down for a full work up and ultrasound.”

“OK,” Merlin’s eyes crinkled in concern. He feared for the health of a baby that had survived months of suppressants and stress. Part of him didn’t want to know. 

He had half a mind to cancel the appointment and go on about his life pretending he’d never walked into that pharmacy.

“We’ll see you at 8. You’ll be the first appointment of the day.” 

Merlin rubbed his aching belly and wondered what he’d tell the Kingsman. Into the phone, he said, “Ye dinnae take my name.”

“No, I did not.” The receptionist scribbled down a description of their new patient’s situation into the calendar. “See you on the 22nd.” 

At the sound of the phone clacking to rest on the receiver, Merlin lowered his mobile from his ear. 

****

****~**~****

Eggsy had promised his mother he’d stay out the week. And the wait for Sunday was just about killing him.

As their way home from the farmer’s market dragged on, Eggsy squirmed in the passenger seat. His mum had refused to let him drive after he went 20km over the speed limit on an unpaved one-lane road. 

“That your potty dance or ya thinking of Kingsman again?” Michelle asked with a sly arch to her brow.

Eggsy glared.

“I know, hon. 20 minutes still, without traffic. Then ya can pack up and ship off again.”

Eggsy noted the sadness in his mother’s voice and reached out to her. “Mum. I’m sorry. I know it’s only a couple days.” His leg started bouncing; he had been in the car too long. “Wish you didn’t live so far though. Course I’d travel the world to see you safe.”

Michelle lifted her shoulders and let them drop with her sigh. Eggsy continues to radiate restless anxiety; she was growing tired of being left in the dark. 

“Was it something the doctor said, love? Someone there… at Kingsman... who can help you?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy answered honestly as the car slowed to a stop. “Yeah, I think so.”

He turned in his seat to see the reason for their delay. Sheep. He rose up in his seat to estimate the size of the flock. There were sheep as far as his eyes could see. 

It was the second flock they’d crossed paths with today. The first one had been maybe half the size and it still took almost an hour to pass.

Eggsy kicked at the car door and sat forward with his head in his hands. He glanced up a minute later and noted the animals were somehow walking slower. 

Eggsy tugged at his hair as his own need to move surged through his veins. 

Even after his mother rolled down the windows, his frustration filled the car. In the backseat, Daisy clutched her plushie and fussed. 

“Eggsy, reign it in.” Michelle looked to her daughter and rubbed the girl’s little leg. “It’s alright. Just look at the lambs, sweetheart.”

Eggsy reached for his phone. Just a quick text to Merlin would be OK. Ease his mind a bit. 

Eggsy hadn’t received text nor email from him in hours; though after hearing the melancholy in Merlin’s voice that morning, it felt like days. 

Eggsy needed to ask Merlin what was going on. He wanted to clear the air, tell him the real reason for his time away from London. 

Uncertainty fell like fog over all thoughts in Eggsy’s mind but this: everything would make more sense once he spoke to Merlin. 

Michelle saw the mobile in her son’s hands. “No cell service way out here, I’m afraid.” She knew they were lucky to have service anywhere after what that maniac Valentine had done. 

“I’m sorry, mum. I need to make a call.”

“That don’t change what I said abou--” 

Eggsy put on his glasses so she would understand. “For work.”

“Oh.” 

Michelle looked to the flock of sheep in the road and to Daisy straining to get a look for herself. “Hey, babe,” she asked her daughter, gently. “You want to see Mary’s little lamb?”

“See poop!” Daisy cried out in glee.

Michelle rolled her eyes and climbed out of the car. “OK, darling. Come to mummy. We’ll go see what we see.”

“Big poops!” Daisy cried as Michelle leaned into the backdoor

Eggsy raised an eyebrow at his mum.

“Just wait til you have pups of your own, love. It’s all about poop, right from the start. Are they pooping, how often, how much, what’s it look like…” 

She gazed down at her daughter fondly, even as the girl squirmed for the ground. “And then your obsession becomes their obsession.”

Eggsy pulled a face. “I am not obsessed with poop. Never gonna be.”

Michelle sighed as she unbuckled Daisy’s harness. “We’ll see what we see.”

Eggsy logged into the Kingsman system. One new message from Roxy. A pair of files sent for inspection forwarded through her rather than Merlin. 

Eggsy sped through the message and sent receipt that all was understood. He marked the work for later. 

He thought to dial up Merlin’s glasses, but didn’t want to disturb him if he was busy. Also, he didn’t know what the hell he was going to say. 

Eggsy sat back, knees bouncing as he stared at his home screen. Nothing interesting on display but the weather report. He worried his lip until he tasted copper. 

“I’ll just peek in,” Eggsy told himself. “Just make sure he’s all right. And I’ll be back at the estate for Monday.” 

Eggsy saw his mum and sister walking along the unpaved road. He connected to the audio and video of Harry’s glasses and waited for what he saw to make sense.

Grey.

Eggsy turned his head, wishing it made a difference. 

There was a shift in front of Harry’s glasses and the folds of fabric came into focus. 

Grey scarf. 

It was mostly blocking the camera, but Eggsy could almost make out the bend of an elbow underneath. Another shift made it clear that Merlin was lying on the scarf like it were a pillow, napping, until he turned his head and knocked the scarf off the desk.

Eggsy watched Merlin still half-asleep rooting and scenting the area in search of his makeshift cushion. And when Merlin’s sleeping body couldn’t find it, Eggsy heard him whine. It tugged at Eggsy’s heart.

As Merlin blinked himself the rest of the way awake, Eggsy held his breath. 

There was a knock at the door. Eggsy melted at Merlin's little groan. 

Merlin stood, rubbing his lower back as he rounded the desk, and left with whoever had come calling.

Eggsy opened the car door, no longer able to sit. He took long strides away from the road, wishing he could see more than just the keyboard and the spot of condensation on the desk that remained where Merlin’s cheek had been. 

He knew it was selfish to call while those at the office had their dockets full, but Eggsy switched connections from Harry to Merlin anyway. After seeing Merlin cuddled up with his own scarf, Eggsy could convince himself the man would be happy to hear from him, even briefly.

As Merlin stood with Gareth and Kelsey, looking over the schematics of the hospital wing, his glasses pinged a call. Merlin glanced at the ID, ready to have his agent leave a message. However, when the screen showed Eggsy’s smiling picture and callsign, Merlin couldn’t help but hit accept.

He gave a small cough to ready his voice, then angled away from Gareth as he spoke. “Report.”

The bleating of sheep and squeals of a child came over the feed. Merlin saw an open field just starting to brown with the change of seasons. 

“Galahad?” His agent’s vitals were just a hair off: heart rate elevated, temperature on the low side. 

Eggsy gave Merlin a view of the herd blocking the road. “Waiting on livestock to cross. Ya sure you’re still mad for the country?”

“Aye. Though perhaps you have changed your mind.” 

Their night texts had been a welcome consequence to Eggsy’s absence, but it wasn’t like Eggsy to use Kingsman specs for a social call. 

It wasn’t every night Merlin received a message from Eggsy, but when he did -- for the hour or so they were in contact -- the weight on his shoulders didn’t feel so heavy.

Even if all the texts surmounted to was an update on the files Eggsy was working on and an ‘Have a good night. Talk to you tomorrow,’ Merlin felt they had brought him and Eggsy closer. 

Then there was the phone call they’d had in the wee hours of that morning. 

Merlin felt a shiver as he wished to close the distance between them; he wished for Eggsy to come home.

“Still prefer the air out here,” Eggsy said, traipsing deeper into the field toward his mum. “The space.” 

He passed his hand over the high grass and brought a small bouquet of wildflowers to his nose. The smell wasn’t foreign as it should have been. 

Eggsy dropped his hand at the sound of a particularly loud bleat and turned to look at the road. “Bloody hell.”

Merlin scratched his cheek as he watched hundreds of sheep crowding the way. “I’m sorry, Galahad. I cannae permit ye force your way through.”

Eggsy laughed and Merlin felt light and tense all at once. Once Eggsy learned the truth of Merlin’s condition, Merlin wondered if there’d be much room for jokes and talks of country living.

Eggsy’s laughter died out at Merlin’s silence.

Merlin frowned, still unsure as to the nature of the call. “Is everything all right?”

Eggsy held up a finger to his mum, requesting a minute more for privacy, before he turned his back to her and Daisy. 

In hushed tones, Eggsy confessed, “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

Merlin’s heart skipped. “What do ye mean?”  
“I dunno, gov,” Eggsy gave his breathless laugh again. He couldn't ask him anything revealing. Not over specs. So, he settled instead for, “Are ya still sick? Did R&D burn HQ to the ground yet? Is Kay giving you a hard time?”

“Oh.” Merlin retucked the shirt beneath his jumper. A new habit of self-consciousness.

Eggsy's chuckle carried more nerves than mirth. “You don't know?”

Merlin wasn’t sure about a lot of things recently, but he did notice the butterflies in his chest swooped down to his stomach whenever he and Eggsy were in contact. He hoped Eggsy would come back sooner rather than later, but he hadn't meant to worry him.

“I’ll be home by the end of the week.” Eggsy answered the question that went unasked. 

He looked over his shoulder at Daisy. She crawled in the grass out of their mum’s eyeline. 

“We’ll talk when I get back, yeah?”

The news of Eggsy’s return washed Merlin in relief. He found himself smiling, despite the stress brought on by his meeting with Gareth and everything else. Merlin almost forgot he couldn’t hide his situation forever.

“Arthur?” Eggsy asked over the comms.

“Aye, Galahad.” Merlin said quietly, happily. “It will be good to have you back at the estate.”

Eggsy breathed on the line for a moment. There was more he wanted to say and so many things he couldn’t. 

From her spot in the grass, Daisy called for Eggsy’s attention. 

“I have to go. I’ll see you soon.”

Eggsy saw his mum waving to him from the field. He hooked the glasses over his collar and hurried over. 

Daisy peered into a shallow nest of baby bunnies. Her tiny arms cradled one to her chest. 

Eggsy came down to her level shaking his head. “It’s important we take care of baby buns, Dais. Be gentle, yeah?” He held out his palm. “But we should put it back with the others, with its parents.”

“She found this one alone in the grass.” Michelle made her excuses for allowing Daisy to pick it up. “I’m not sure if she can put it with the others.” She seemed as hopeful for the pet as her daughter.

Eggsy drew his mouth into a hard line. “Still, mum. Don’t think we should.” 

“Daisy be mummy.” The little girl voiced enthusiastically. “Bunny mummy. I takin’ dem home?”

Eggsy gave his mother a look. It wasn’t anything strong enough to force submission, but just enough to have her nodding in agreement.

“I’m sorry, darling,” Michelle said, finally. “No.”

But the light touch of their mother proved no match for Daisy’s sneaky determination. 

When Michelle finally pulled up to the house in Wrexham, Daisy shrieked and joyfully announced, “Dey pooped on me!”

Eggsy narrowed his eyes at his mum. “Ya didn't notice a furry lump in her pocket as ya strapped her in?” The question carried more than a hint of accusation.

Michelle shrugged her shoulders with a smile. “Swear, love,” she said with a giggle. Then she looked to Daisy in the mirror. “I guess we have a rabbit now?” 

Eggsy didn’t have the energy to argue. And seeing his sister coddle the rabbit warmed his heart. 

Once inside, Eggsy made sure to show his mum how to do proper research so the wild animal would have a fighting chance in their home.

****

****~**~****

That night, as Eggsy lie awake, his text to Merlin began with an apology.

‘Didn’t get to those files today, gov. Was an interesting day.’ 

Merlin stared at the message, wondering if he should ask. He’d been hiding the truth of just how interesting life had gotten in London. It would be unfair to ask Eggsy to elaborate when he wasn’t ready to discuss the big news he carried himself.

‘Daisy’s sleight of hand is frightfully impressive,’ Eggsy gave more information on his own. ‘Dubbed herself Bunny Mummy. Built a home and picked out food for her little stowaway. Cutest ever, gotta admit.’

Merlin swallowed hard. ‘Guess that makes you an uncle.’ He tapped nonsense over the laptop keyboard and deleted it again until Eggsy’s reply came through on his mobile.

‘Ha. Yeah. Lot earlier than I thought.’

Merlin wanted to ask him about kids. What he thought of them. If he wanted them. But he didn’t know how to go about it.

Eggsy sat up next to his sleeping sister. Stroking her hair, he thought about the unlikelihood he’d ever have children of his own. 

‘Uncle’s probably close as I’ll get to dad.’ Eggsy didn’t know what compelled him to type it up. But when his thumb slid along the screen to erase the words, it grazed over send and the message went through. 

Thinking quickly, he added, ‘Kingsman isn’t really family friendly, ya know?’

Merlin held his lips between his teeth to keep them from shaking. He sniffed hard and tried to shake away the sadness; even so, tears sprung to his eyes.

‘Never thought I’d be a da either,’ Merlin answered honestly.

‘Are you still working?’ Eggsy asked, though he was sure of the answer before it came. ‘You should sleep.’

‘Just an hour more. Have yourself a rest.’

‘See you in a few days. Night.’

Eggsy debated with himself, as he always did, before logging into Harry’s glasses. But as he knew it would, when he had climbed into bed with the glasses resting on his head, curiosity won out. 

Harry's camera caught Merlin standing at the edge of the desk, clutching his stomach and muttering something that sounded like a prayer. 

Eggsy took a deep breath and exhaled as slowly as he could to keep his concern to himself. He didn’t need his mother and sister waking to the smell of alpha on alert. 

Eggsy watched Merlin rub at his midsection and heard him say, “Please.” 

Anger joined Eggsy's worry as he came to the conclusion that Merlin had lied about feeling better.

After blowing his nose and tossing a tissue in the rubbish, Merlin sat at his desk. Eggsy watched him lift a white bottle from his pocket, dump a pill in his hand, and take it with water. 

Eggsy’s heart seized as he recognized the bottle; the same design as the ones he was given by Kingsman’s Dr. Klein. 

As fast as Eggsy could, without disturbing his mum and sister, he climbed out of the bed. Forget Sunday -- he bought a ticket for an early train to London and gathered his things. 

He needed to tell Merlin why they had gotten sick.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for your continued interest in the story, for hanging in there while these silly nillies find each other.  
> Coming up are some of my favorite chapters so far and I hope you enjoy the time they'll spend at the cottage as well.  
> Almost there!

****~**~****

Eggsy showed up at the Kingsman estate in the early afternoon. Without announcement, he made a beeline to the wing that held Arthur’s office. He pushed on the door left ajar, stepped into the room, and froze.

Merlin lie asleep on the couch, looking the same and somehow softer than before. The smell of the room was sweeter in a delicate way.

Eggsy’s chest puffed. He convinced himself it was Galahad’s need to protect Arthur as he lie defenseless. 

He chastised himself for treating Merlin differently now that he knew he was omega, but he couldn’t stop himself from standing guard. No, not couldn’t -- didn’t want to. With his shoulders thrown back, Eggsy remained at the door until Merlin woke. 

He wasn’t there but a few minutes before Merlin smacked his lips and stretched. The sofa creaked as Merlin lifted his arms over his head and pressed his feet against the armrest.

Eggsy smiled at the way Merlin's shirt rose. A small bit of skin peeked out from the hem and Eggsy's urge to lay his hand over it caused his smile to falter. He cleared his throat to let his presence be known.

Merlin startled at the sound and sat up. He blinked owlishly, as if not believing what he saw. “You’re back?” 

Eggsy shrugged. “Felt more important I be here.” He got Merlin the glass of water and dish of crackers from the desk. Handing it over, Eggsy sat on the cushion beside him. “You’re bin smells of sick, gov.” 

Merlin heard the hurt in Eggsy’s voice and sensed the disappointment coming off him. “Not like before. Not as bad.”

Eggsy couldn’t come right out and say he knew it was the suppressant making him ill. Not without making it abruptly clear he’d been tapping into a hidden camera. 

Judging by the time Merlin took his last dose, it’d be hours before Eggsy could catch him in the act and have an excuse to confront him properly. 

“Can ya keep enough down for a lunch break, then?”

Merlin’s stomach rumbled, the feeling of hunger not nausea, and he gave a faint smile. “Off campus. Few slices of pizza sounds spectacular.”

The trip downtown felt too short. 

During the drive, Eggsy prattled on about his sister and the bunny. Merlin’s stomach flipped at the affection in his companion’s voice. 

“Anything new with you?” Eggsy asked, as they pulled up to the restaurant. 

Merlin took a sharp breath. “There is something that has been brought to my attention. Just a little thing.”

“Yeah?” Eggsy slid out of the car and walked around to open the door for Merlin. He felt a small thrill when the man let him. “Bigger than a bread box?” he joked. “Animal or mineral?”

Eggsy stopped himself, as he saw Merlin was unamused.

“Perhaps this matter is better discussed over the meal.”

 _Fucking hell. He knows._ Eggsy let Merlin lead the way up the sidewalk. _He knows I’ve stopped taking the suppressant. He thinks I’m a liability; untamed._

Eggsy heard the stories of what happened to the few others like him, those who had been discovered in recent years. Dean had told Eggsy he was lucky. Dean's gang, in their way, had kept him safe from worse.

_Without Harry to speak for me, Kingsman'll run me out for sure or break me down for hard labor._

Despite Eggsy's belief that he was more than the unchained alpha variant the world told him he was, his fear rose. He huffed hard through his nose and his hackles raised in defense. He felt, for the first time in a while, almost feral.

Merlin snapped his head toward him and Eggsy pushed it down. There was concern written on Merlin’s face as his trained eyes scanned the street for danger. 

Seeing Merlin on alert because of him had Eggsy’s guilt building and fear fading almost as quickly as it had come on.

“It’s nothing.” Eggsy assured him with a gentle touch to the small of Merlin’s back. He did his best to exude confidence and calm, though his shoulders tingled with what misgivings lingered.

At the table, conversation between them resumed its easy banter. Merlin hadn’t mentioned anything of dire consequence -- nothing directly of Kingsman or otherwise.

Eggsy arched an impressed brow as Merlin devoured his third slice of pineapple jalapeno pizza. Just watching him gave Eggsy indigestion. 

“That’s gonna be rank on the way back up,” Eggsy warned, but Merlin was moaning at the taste. The sounds of Merlin's pleasure had Eggsy shifting in his seat.

“Don’t care.” Merlin waved down the waiter for an order of chips. “Never been this hungry in my life.” He asked for sides of mustard and salsa for dipping.

Eggsy gagged. “Oh, for sure that ain’t stayin’ down.” 

While they waited on the next course, Eggsy straightened up. “You had something we needed to talk about, yeah?”

Merlin held his stomach as the butterflies did their swoop. He searched for the proper words and came up with, “Need to go north a few days.”

Eggsy leaned in to mouth, “Mission?” silently and maybe Merlin's gaze remained on the agent's lips longer than was necessary to read the word.

Merlin let Eggsy believe it was an assignment.

“All right.” Eggsy nodded, already thinking what plans needed to be laid. He’d find a place for them to stay -- somewhere safe, remote. “Kingsman car or rental?”

Still shocked over the whole of it -- positive test, appointment, the bump that had barely made its appearance -- Merlin hadn’t thought that far. 

“Flying would be faster,” Merlin thought aloud. “Get in and out. Don’t want to be away from Kingsman too long. But rather a familiar car once I’m there.”

Eggsy would fix Merlin with a small plane and drive up the country himself. It was doable. “Where do ya need to be? When?”

Merlin couldn’t give the exact location. He settled for a council in Scotland, appreciative of Eggsy’s help sorting out the details. “Dumfries and Galloway; the 22nd.” It was a bit further than the doctor in Kendal, but more reason for flight than drive.

Eggsy hadn’t heard of it, but he’d figure it out. “Not a problem. 22nd, ya said?” He had out his phone, taking notes of all as it was discussed.

“Think I’ll go up the 20th,” Merlin decided. “Come back the 25th.” Better to give himself leeway, in case there were tests to be run. Complications.

There was tension in the air. 

“Don’t worry about a thing. I’ll send plans for you to review. You sign off on it and the mission is a go.”

It felt oddly comforting -- and wholly natural -- to have Eggsy take control. 

The basket of chips arrived with its array of standard and special ordered condiments. Merlin ate as Eggsy busied himself making arrangements.

The car and plane were easy to secure, especially when it was Kingsman’s Arthur the one in need. Eggsy discovered it would be an almost 6 hours drive up to Dumfries, but if he left early he could be there to accept Merlin as his flight landed.

By the end of their meal, all that was left was a matter of finding lodging.

Merlin looked up from his empty basket of chips and reached his hand across the table to get Eggsy’s attention. 

Eggsy felt the brush of fingers on his wrist and smiled knowingly at the warmth of the touch. “Ya all right?”

“Thank you, Eggsy,” Merlin said, just audible over the tinker of utensils on plates and chatter of the patrons surrounding them. He hated to leave so soon after Eggsy's return. Merlin hid the longing with his appreciation and hoped it would be enough.

The strength of Merlin's gratitude felt unnecessary. Of course Eggsy would go along with him, without question.

He returned his phone to his pocket and covered Merlin’s hand with his own. Eggsy felt Merlin’s skin grow warmer and impossibly softer beneath his touch. 

He gave Merlin's hand a squeeze. “Anything you need,” Eggsy answered, matching Merlin’s tone. “Always.”

****~**~****

Eggsy searched for a place around Dumfries and came up with a cottage for rent. It looked quaint in the photo. Probably needed a bit of TLC from the way the porch sagged and the shutters hung askew. But it was a true country home complete with stables and a storehouse.

Surrounded by forest and fields, it was kilometers off the main road. It seemed the perfect, makeshift safe house.

Even after the frustrating disasters of phone calls he'd made already, Eggsy didn’t hesitate to call the name on the listing. 

“Hullo?”

“Hullo. My name is Elliot Prince,” Eggsy gave the alias he had chosen for the trip. “I’m calling about the home you have for rent on the Hansen Estate. Is this Ms. Archer?”

“Bethany. Yes, it is. But, I’m sorry, sir. Only vacancy we have is Wendel Cottage. And that’s under a bit of renovation at the moment.”

Eggsy deflated. Wendel had felt right from the moment Eggsy set eyes on the listing. Not too far from markets, but private. Large plot, waterside with varying landscape. 

Judging by the artwork in the Arthur office, Eggsy knew deep inside Merlin would love it.  
He took a risk. “How much is _a bit_? Of renovation, I mean.”

The woman, Bethany, had herself a kind sigh. “Have your heart set on the place, do ye, lad?”

“Too good to be true usually is, innit?”

Bethany thought on it. The young man sounded more interested than anyone who had visited even at the property’s height of beauty. 

“When would ye need lodging? There may be time to patch a few things, if ye don’t mind a draft.”

Eggsy sucked air through his teeth. “Bout a week, ma’am.” 

The woman laughed, her voice low and broken with age. “Oh, boy-o. I dunno if I can swing that.”

“Don’t want to strain ya none, but perhaps I could help out while we’re there? Always been rather good with my hands.”

“Will it be a family trip?” Bethany worried for the safety of children. “It’s not set for little ones. What with the construction and all.”

“No kids. Just myself and my partner.”

“Well, I don’t know what to charge ye. I can send updated photos of the interior and ye make your decision then.”

“Fair is fair.” Eggsy knew, barring a collapsed roof, black mold, or flooded foundation, he was booking the place. It was a feeling set in his bones.

After seeing the state of the bothy, Eggsy decided he’d go a few days during the week to get started on repairs. Then, he’d head up a day before Merlin to finish, get to market for groceries, and settle in. 

He was surprised when Merlin skimmed over the plans and signed it into motion. Merlin had looked through it so quickly, Eggsy was sure he'd given a near blind approval.

Eggsy's heart swelled with the validation of Merlin's explicit trust in him.

****~**~****

On the day of Eggsy’s final trip north, he stopped by Merlin’s office for a quick goodbye.

“Ya gonna be OK with Bors flying you in?”

Merlin set aside his peanut butter toast in preference of the berries he’d brought in for breakfast. “There a reason I shouldn’t be?”

Eggsy shrugged. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable with anyone in charge of Merlin’s safety other than himself. 

“I’ll let ya get back to work. Sure there’s lots for you to do before heading out tomorrow.”

“Aye,” Merlin agreed. He’d tried to keep himself busy, keep his mind off the pup and all that could go wrong at the appointment. 

His hands came to rest over his abdomen, but he didn’t look away from Eggsy’s gaze. “Little I can’t bring along. And nothing that won’t wait for my return.”

Eggsy’s eyes darted to Merlin’s stomach and then away. He didn’t want Merlin to feel self-conscious, but Merlin did seem to be putting on a little weight in his midsection. Eggsy wondered if it was insecurities that led Merlin to hold himself so often. 

“You sure you’re all right?” Eggsy stepped toward Merlin's desk and caught the scent that seemed to grow sweeter each day. “I can take you.” 

His tone was strikingly similar to that he used with his mother. But unlike when speaking with her, with Merlin, Eggsy wanted to insist. 

Merlin tilted his head to the side as if considering Eggsy’s offer, a few degrees off from baring his neck. “Nae, lad. You’re doing enough as it is. Thank ye.”

“Yeah ok.” Eggsy eyes landed on his scarf, still hanging from Merlin’s chair. His chest puffed again seeing how Merlin kept a piece of him nearby. “Well, safe travels, then. I’ll see ya soon.”

Merlin stood, wanting to tell Eggsy the truth of his trip. The request for Eggsy to join him was just there on the tip of his tongue. 

It frightened Merlin to feel so needy. He knew it was the hormones and feared it was only going to get worse. 

Instead of pulling Eggsy closer for a breath of the calming air he so desperately wanted, Merlin handed over the hard copy file he’d finished earlier. “Drop that in the archives, will ye?”

“Of course.”

“Take care, Galahad.”

Eggsy nodded and walked from the room before his confusion could be detected. _Why did Merlin sound like he was saying farewell?_ In less than 48 hours Eggsy would be picking him up from an airstrip in Scotland. 

Eggsy second, triple, quadruple guessed if allowing Bors to pilot Merlin was the best thing. But the plane couldn’t stay and Merlin had requested a Kingsman car. 

He shook his head of the worry. Ahead of him lay a stop at the hardware store and green grocer, a long drive, and another sleepless night doing frantic, last-minute repairs.

****~**~****

Climbing onto the plane, Merlin rubbed at the pain in his chest. Though Eggsy had come to say goodbye the day before, a part of him believed Eggsy would see him off.

It was a silly thought. Eggsy had spent his time the past week getting things ready for Merlin’s trip. He’d even flown out to Dumfries twice to scout for private landing strips and to secure lodging. 

Merlin understood that now Eggsy was probably busy catching up with the other agents and diving into investigations. 

Merlin held his phone the entire 1.5 hour flight. With each passing minute, it got harder to hold himself back from inviting Eggsy along. 

As they crossed the border to Scotland, Merlin made a promise to himself. As soon as he got back to Kingsman, he would tell Eggsy the truth of his trip -- no matter the results of the doctor's appointment, he knew he’d need a friend’s support and something deep told him Eggsy would provide.

****~**~****

When the landing gear touched down, Merlin grabbed his bags, thanked his agent for the ride, and headed down the stairs to the tarmac.

He was met by a man he assumed to be the owner of the small hangar. 

“How do ye do?”

Merlin gave him a shake. “All right, and you, sir?”

“Weather’s good; I’m good,” the man answered.

Merlin filled his lungs with the breeze. “Smells like rain,” he said fondly. “Smells like home.” 

The man looked up to the cloudless sky with a frown.

“Oi!” A familiar voice called from within the hangar, interrupting their thoughts. “Ya made it in one piece!” 

Eggsy approached at a jog, crossing the few meters with a smile. “Brian says ya didn’t lose your lunch or anything.” 

Merlin stared as Eggsy clapped him on the shoulder and drew him in for a hug. The scent of rain was stronger now, though how it got passed the smell of plaster, sweat, and sawdust, Merlin wasn’t sure. 

Merlin wanted to bury his nose in Eggsy’s neck to be certain it was him. He swallowed a whimper as Eggsy stepped back.

Not ready to break contact either, Eggsy kept his hands on Merlin’s shoulders, holding him just short of arm’s length. “Ya gotta see this place, gov. It’s. Bloody. Gorgeous.”

Merlin wasn't sure what Eggsy was going on about, but the lad himself was truly a sight to behold. Taking deliberate, steady breaths, Merlin drank him in. 

Merlin was half convinced his eyes and ears were playing tricks on him. There was no way Eggsy was in Scotland.

But beneath the hair splattered white with plaster, the torn jeans and dusty tee, Merlin couldn’t deny his presence or his body's reaction to him. 

Merlin wanted to ask, _What are ye doing here?_

“What are ye wearing?” he asked, instead.

“Oh,” Eggsy pulled at his too-tight shirt and laughed at his state of dress. “It’s kind of a fixer-upper,” he said in a sing-song. His smile never left his face. “You’re gonna love it.”

****~**~****


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our men arrive at the cottage in Dumfries where Eggsy puts the pieces of Merlin's secrets together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your continued interest in this story, all of you. It has been so exciting and encouraging to see the subscriptions, bookmarks, kudos, and comments coming in each day. <3

****~**~****

The drive to the cottage was everything Merlin remembered of home. Fields and forests stretched out in every direction; yellow and orange leaves hinted at autumn. In the distance, the hills clung to their lush greenery. And of course there was the scent of coming rain that filled the car, cool and crisp.

Merlin let himself relax into it, regaling Eggsy with stories of his childhood. He didn’t shy away from Eggsy’s questions, elaborating wherever he could. Any postponement to telling Eggsy what was really going on with his trip, was a welcome one.

“We’re here.” Eggsy beamed with pride as he pulled through an empty plot of land.

Merlin’s brows knitted together. “There’s a house somewhere… yes?”

“Ha ha. Of course.” Eggsy knocked Merlin’s thigh with the back of his hand. He resisted the urge to turn his palm and let it linger. “But what kind of safe house would it be if ya could see it from the road?”

“Hmm.” 

It was a few minutes longer before they were on a grassy path through the trees. 

There was a cobblestoned clearing, big enough for a pair of cars at least, where Eggsy parked. 

Eggsy helped Merlin with his bags. The compulsion to take his heaviest bags stemmed from somewhere deeper than chivalry. He led them through the wooden gate and up the path to the side entrance.

“Shoulda trimmed that back,” he said by way of apology as they traipsed through shin-high grass. “Didn’t realize the front porch had rotten full through til this mornin’.”

Merlin let his gaze wander over the cottage and tried not to pass judgement. From what he could see, more than a porch had rotten through. He pushed past the overgrown bushes. Their thin branches had grown tall and wide as trees, crowding the already narrow trail, and tugging at his shirt until it became untucked. 

When Merlin made it to the stairs, he did a quick pass over his clothes for for ticks. He was careful to keep his back to the porch as he pulled up his vest to check his bare abdomen.

“Should I be helpin’ ya with that?” Eggsy asked, trying to be polite. At Merlin’s curt, “No,” Eggsy didn’t bother asking what he was looking for.

Merlin hastily fixed his shirt and joined Eggsy under the covered porch. When Merlin looked well put together, Eggsy dropped the bags and leaned into the door.

“This part’s a little tricky,” he said flatly. Eggsy turned the loose knob to no avail, looked back at Merlin with color in his cheeks. It took a few soft kicks to get the door unstuck of the frame, but once they were in, Eggsy brought in Merlin’s things and opened his arms to the kitchen. 

“Home sweet home,” Eggsy announced.

Merlin took a turn around the room. There was electric and running water. Sturdy, clean counters. A few cracked tiles bobbled beneath his step, but all in all it was a good kitchen. He’d certainly seen worse. 

“Let me show ya ‘round, yeah? Give ya the lay of the land.”

Eggsy had a bounce in his step as he pulled Merlin into the long dining room. “Nice, innit? I mean, this room is boring. It could use a bit of paint. Weren’t sure what color.”

Merlin squinted at the bare walls of the rental wondering why it would matter.

“I’ve kept my focus on the bedrooms and baths. They’re just through here.”

The bedrooms were stark as the dining area, the latter of which had been furnished with only a table and six chairs. 

“All fresh sheets,” Eggsy announced in the odd, halting way he had been doling out details as he led Merlin through the house. “Did the wash yesterday to get the smell of paint off ‘em. Utility room is off the kitchen.” To the pair of doors on the other side of the room, Eggsy took quick strides. “Closet. Bog.”

Merlin listened as well as he could to Eggsy’s babble, but the view of the landscape through the open window was distracting. Though the blue sky was adorned with wisps of white, the scent of coming rains doubled.

Eggsy’s eyes darted around the room. He rose onto his toes and rocked back on his heels. Merlin saw his energy had shifted and realized his agent was waiting for a response, a word of opinion or criticism.

“It’s lovely, Galahad.”

Eggsy mouth twitched at the corners but didn’t quite form a smile.

“--Eggsy.” Not wanted to offend, Merlin extended his approval of safe house to his agent as well as his friend.

“Elliot,” Eggsy corrected. “Elliot Prince. When others are around.” 

He drew his wallet from his trousers and handed Merlin his identification. 

“Murdock Gillies.” Merlin wiped his thumb over the dusty fingerprint on the card. “I’m not good enough to be a Prince as well?”

Eggsy stomach coiled with baseless hope. “Do ya wanna be?” His voice was quiet, even in the near empty room.

Merlin’s heart rate quickened as the question hung unanswered between them.

Mortified by the extended silence, Eggsy excused himself to the sitting area. “Ground level is solid, but be wary of the second floor. If ya want a rest or somethin’ to eat--” he pushed the last words around the lump in his throat, “--make yourself at home.”

Eggsy brushed past to exit and the baby moved under Merlin’s hand. With a twisted frown, Merlin watched the lad turn the corner leaving dejection in his wake.

****~**~****

Eggsy was near the storehouse, readying a saw to cut the next set of planks, when he caught the scent of omega. He wiped sweat from his brow and lifted his nose to the breeze. Maple, not wildflower and honey; Ms. Archer, not Merlin.

Raising his hand high over his head, Eggsy flagged her over with an approximation of a smile. 

“What’s wrong, boy-o?” She said by way of greeting. “Where’s your spark?”

Eggsy worked a few notches at the measurements he’d marked to keep himself focused on something other than feeling like Merlin had stripped him of a piece of his worth. 

“And a good day to ya, as well.” 

“Cut the shite.” Bethany approached unsteadily, her ankles rolling and knees knocking as she made her way over uneven ground. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Eggsy watched the elderly woman, but kept out of her way. He’d learned by error not to step in and help unless she asked. 

“Has Murdock’s flight been delayed?”

“Nah. He’s inside, having a rest.”

Her tone dropped its chaff. “Dinnae like the place,” she guessed.

Eggsy shook his head slowly, in thought. “I was so sure he’d fall in love with it.” He looked up at the house and saw its potential, saw the beauty it held even in its state of disrepair. “Still feel in my gut he will. Dunno what’s getting in the way.”

Bethany winced at the sight of the cottage. “Eh… I can think of a few things.” 

Eggsy frowned and she offered him a kind smile. 

“Come to mine tomorrow night. For supper. This house was built in the likeness of ours and in far better shape this heap.”

_Maybe if Merlin saw what the cottage could become, he would be more receptive to their stay._

Bethany knew she was winning him over on the idea when he didn’t protest. “You’re here the week?” she asked.

Eggsy’s eyebrows drew together as he considered what other repairs he could manage before the mission met its end. “Five days.”

Bethany hummed, curious and sharp. 

They stood, staring at the repairs that needed tending until Bethany inquired of Murdock again. 

“Ye mind I go in and introduce myself? Like to know who’s sharing me ‘omes.”

“O’course.” Eggsy figured he should get back to work anyhow. “Ya know your way around,” he said, gesturing to the side path. “Mind the front porch.”

“Finally collapsed on ye, I see.”

“Yeah.” Eggsy replied. “Tore up my shin real pretty.”

Bethany laughed at him as she walked away. “Oh I don’ want to hear ye complainin’ none,” she called out. “Your lot heal quick and without a scar.”

The color drained from Eggsy’s face as Bethany left, as it dawned on him what she meant, what she knew.

****~**~****

Bethany found Merlin in the dining room with a tall sandwich, crisps, and water.

“Sweet, innit?” she asked after a light knock on the doorframe. 

Merlin sensed she was omega as readily as Bethany had done the pregnancy. 

Merlin swallowed his bite and stood. “Sorry?”

“So determined, he is, to build you an home,” Bethany said, hitching her thumb in the direction from which she came. She was never one for much subtlety. “Name’s Bethany Archer.”

“Landlord, yes?” 

The woman nodded in answer and Merlin introduced himself. 

“It’s a beautiful estate.”

Bethany scowled at the lie. “It’s a shite hole,” she groused. Then, she tipped her head side to side and admitted, “Or it was, before your alpha stepped in.”

“Elliot damn near ran the contractor off the property with his scent. Though it were his growl really done him in, I think.” Bethany played at fanning herself as she shared the memory, but her amusement was followed by annoyance. 

“Bastard scam artist had been bleedin’ me dry for months. Right pissed when I see all your lad can do in a week’s time. He’s a good one.”

Merlin tried not to enjoy the way Bethany called Eggsy his. It was Elliot and Murdock who shared a life in the country; it wasn’t real.

Bethany sat at the table, inviting him to do the same to continue his meal. “Nothing like the hunger when eating for two.” Her smile was knowing and warm; she projected empathy and comfort through the room. 

It wasn’t the same as Eggsy’s way -- what Merlin had scented at the Round Table or in the office -- but it felt safe.

“It’s good he’s fast,” Bethany went on. “You’ll be glad the hard work is done when your hormones are fixing ye to nest. And, dearie, when it’s time to pick colors and fixtures,” she waved her hand dismissively, “ jus’ go with what ye like.” 

Merlin’s lips parted to inform her they’d only planned to stay a few days, but the words didn’t come. _Really should have read the mission file Eggsy had drawn up_ , he thought.

Bethany’s mind wandered and her hands smoothed over the old table. The wobble that had frustrated her for years was gone. “Huh. I’ll be owing you hearth and home when all’s said and done.”

Merlin put down the last of his sandwich and protested. “Oh no, ma’am. We’ll accept your hospitality, but never your money.” Kingsman provided them with so much, even in the aftermath of Chester King’s recklessness. “I trust the tools and lumber have been paid for?”

“They ‘ave. Elliot scheduled deliveries and covered the costs. Won’t let me see a bill. He’s a provider sort.” A soft smile graced Bethany’s face. “Reminds me of my Sarah; although, she was wild as they come.” 

Her hand went to her shoulder. With what strength her arthritic fingers had in them, Bethany squeezed her claim. Her expression depicted a hunger that could never again be fulfilled. “Oh, she’d mark me up but good.”

As Bethany’s gaze landed on Merlin’s neck, he self-consciously checked his collar. “Ye won’t find a mating bite there, if that’s what you’re looking for.” 

“No, no.” She apologized for her wandering eye. She only wanted for this pair the security she had enjoyed for so long before Sarah’s passing. “Elliot made it clear ye are waiting. Like his grandparents.”

Bethany recalled Eggsy’s poetic account with a wistful smile. “Romantic.”

Merlin took a moment for himself to consider Bethany’s story. She let him sit and think, admiring the way her companion’s hands drew a small circle over his abdomen.

The room fell away as Merlin lost himself in the fairytale. Eggsy’s plans for mating ceremony and ritual, even if it were part of an act, had Merlin daydreaming of sun showers so real he could practically taste the raindrops on his tongue.

Eventually, Bethany broke the stillness of the room by stealing a crisp from Merlin’s plate. “Safer for the bairn, they say, too. Though I never had pups of me own.”

Merlin caught a shadow of sadness in her scent, but Bethany was quick relieve him of the burden.

“We were plenty fulfilled without. But it’ll be a wonder to see wee ones tumbling about the fields, I suppose.” Bethany rested her chin in her fist as she snacked.

Sitting back in his chair, Merlin brought to mind the lay of the rooms and the property that surrounded the house.

“It’s safe, away from prying eyes, with lots of room to run. Perfect place to den up, for a mated pair and their young. Don’ ye agree?”

Merlin eyes and nose stung, but he didn’t let a tear fall. “A family like that couldn’t ask for more.”

****~**~****

In the kitchen Eggsy’s heart dropped into his stomach. Only catching the tail of the conversation, he wasn’t sure who’s life was being discussed. But suddenly clues fell into place.

Merlin’s nausea, hunger, weight gain… His new and growing scent. 

Eggsy backed out of the side door, resting it against the frame so the others wouldn’t hear the slam of him tugging it closed.

With trembling hands, Eggsy took out his phone.

“Mum,” he whispered, taking long strides away from the house into the field. “I think a friend of mine is pregnant and doesn’t know.”

“Ok, love.” Michelle was sitting at her computer, but she pushed away from her busy work to give full attention to her son.

“He’s an older omega.”

“Ok. Well, if he’s older, he probably sees the signs, sweetheart.” 

Daisy pushed music buttons on her toys and danced in the cacophony of her own making. Michelle turned from the noise and plugged her free ear with a finger. 

“It can be scary, sweetheart,” Michelle continued. “Especially as you near the end of childbearing years. Maybe he’s just not ready to announce yet.” 

“He doesn’t know, mum.” Eggsy was almost certain. “Or he won’t admit it. Still on blockers and everything.” 

Michelle glanced at the research she’d been doing on Eggsy’s pills, but hid her anger from her son.

As Eggsy’s own anxieties came to a head, he walked faster, past the storehouse and into the treeline. 

“He hasn’t been to a doctor. Not taking vitamins.” 

Eggsy wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. He was vaguely aware of wind in his hair as he hurried down the slope of a hill. 

He caught himself on a branch when he stumbled. 

“Eggsy?” 

His mum’s voice made him pause. He looked around as the surroundings came into focus. There was a clearing, a ways off, to the left. He went there.

“I’m scared for him and the baby.” Admitting it aloud provided Eggsy no relief. Instead, it brought the reality of what could be rushing into light.

“Eggsy, is it--”

“No, mum.” Eggsy choked out. “The kid’s not mine.” 

He couldn’t understand why the words felt like lies, like they were tearing his heart from his chest. 

Despite feeling filled with lead, Eggsy’s feet kept moving until they sank into the wet embankment of a sandy loch.

Michelle checked on her daughter, who had thankfully switched from flailing about to quietly watching her bunny in its corner. “You sure?”

“He and I never--” Eggsy started, idly testing the water with his toes still clad in trainers. “We’re not--”

“Yeah, OK, love.” She didn’t need details further than that. “I understand. Have you tried talking to him?”

“I--” He’d only discovered suspicion moments ago, when the weight of the world had come crashing down on his shoulders.

_A swim would clear his mind_ , he thought. _The water would bear some of the burden, at least for awhile._

“Not very convincing, hun. Give it your best shot. Sounds like you’re close. If you’re this worried, let him know.”

Eggsy nodded as he waded out into the lake. Even in autumn, it was a few degrees warmer than he.

“OK,” was all he said before ending the call and tossing his mobile onto the shore. 

In a stupor, Eggsy sank under the water and let it wash the tears as they came.

****~**~****

****~**~****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to chat about stories or anything else, find me on Tumblr [@ImJustTooTired](http://imjusttootired.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy returns from his swim with more than soaked clothes and ruined trainers.  
> Please enjoy a bit of fluff/intimacy and hurt (sick)/comfort between our men in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading and responding to this story in the form of kudos, comments, subscriptions, and bookmarks. It's my pleasure to share this with you. <3  
> Feedback is welcome and encouraged.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this next installment. :)

****~**~****

Merlin puttered around the kitchen, trying not to eat everything in house while simultaneously sampling a little of whatever he could find in the pantry and fridge. Now that he could keep food down, it was never enough.

 _Bethany was right_ , Merlin thought. Eggsy was a provider sort. Or, ‘Elliot’ was. Merlin didn’t want to think about the difference.

With crumb-dusted fingers, he grabbed a bag of spicy crisps and forced himself into the sitting room. 

It had been hours since Eggsy had walked out to work near the storehouse. Concern nagged at Merlin all afternoon. At his last check, the car was in the drive and GPS on his phone had the lad pinned at a location still technically on the property, a few kilometers from the house. 

He brought a pinch of broken crisps to his lips and listened to their crunch. The taste was awful, but confusingly satisfying. He told himself he wouldn’t verify Eggsy’s location again.

Unpacking his bags, reporting to HQ, taking a nap, and foraging for snacks had given Merlin something to do while Eggsy was gone. Mostly, it had kept him from dwelling too much on things Bethany had said. 

With food in hand and his arse on the couch, however, their discussion took to the forefront of his mind.

Merlin thought about the life Elliot and Murdock were building for themselves. The house, the plans for marriage and claim… the pup. Bethany spoke of them like they were a bonded pair, like she and Sarah had been. Were. The soul bond of an Alpha and Omega never truly broke. There was no ‘til death do us part.’ 

Merlin had let her believe it. There were perfumes and oils on the market and in the lab that could help to convince her Eggsy was an high alpha during brief encounters. Merlin recalled Eggsy’s own scent had pierced through Kingsman’s blockers in recent weeks. 

A thumping sensation, Merlin now attributed to the baby’s discontent, started up within his womb. Merlin rubbed circles over his abdomen as he considered looking into Eggsy’s files, but the thumping wouldn’t let up. If only he had access to the medical team’s plans for Kingsman’s agents-- No.

Merlin leaned into the cushions of the sofa, closed his eyes, and tried not to think. One thing at a time. He needed to get through this week, the appointment, first. If Bethany had decided ‘Eliot’ and ‘Murdock’ were a bonded pair, then that was the act they would play.

The baby seemed to settle at the plan and Merlin hummed in amusement. “Ye like to pretend to be something yer not, little bug?”

He had just gotten truly comfortable when he heard Eggsy’s kicks at the side door.

****~**~****

****~**~****

Eggsy stumbled through the trees, tracking his way to the cottage, weak and getting weaker.

Animals in periphery squawked and scurried past. He whipped his head around and his vision blurred. Eggsy blinked hard trying to bring the world to focus as dusk settled over the forest. 

Eggsy’s fingers clawed at the parasitic worms that had latched onto his arms and neck. The path he walked was dappled with the bodies he’d already torn off and thrown down.

His sopping wet trainers slipped over moss-covered rocks. His toes caught on roots and fallen branches. 

The strange sounds of the woods had him on high alert, draining him of his energy as the leeches fed off his blood.

After what felt like hours, Eggsy climbed up the steps of the cottage porch. With shaking hands, Eggsy pulled strands of grass and rotting leaves from his hair. He grabbed the doorknob to steady himself as the world tilted and swayed.

Although he breathed heavily through his nose, it felt like he couldn’t catch a full breath. Eggsy slumped against the jammed side door with a growl of frustration. He kicked futilely at the panels, until it opened.

“Elliot,” Merlin answered the door, unsure if Eggsy had brought company. “Where have ye--”

Merlin cut himself short. The sight of pale skin, glassy eyes, and blood would have sent Merlin into a panic if his training hadn’t set in. 

Eggsy’s breathing was shallow, the rumble of alpha in distress growing weaker by the second. There must have been an half dozen leeches at Eggsy’s feet and more on the exposed flesh of his arms. 

In a daze, Eggsy allowed himself to be led into the kitchen. 

Then, in a rush, Merlin scrambled to the cupboard for salt and a pitcher. “What happened?” He mixed a saline solution at the sink while Eggsy explained.

When he approached Eggsy, the alpha’s eyes went wide and narrowed again as if in response to a threat. He back into the corner where the counter met the pantry, hitting the cupboards hard in his haste and curling his lip in a warning.

The sound that rose from Eggsy’s chest came as a whimper instead of a snarl and Merlin paused. A vice squeezed his heart.

“I’d never hurt ye.” He said, projecting an aura of safety. “Ye know that, deep down.” 

Next, Merlin did something stupid, something brave. Pushing logic’s warnings aside, he bared his neck and took a step toward the frightened alpha.

Eggsy snapped at him with half the strength he had left.

Merlin continued forward, lifted his hands and the washcloth. The flannel dripped saltwater onto the tile, but he paid no mind as it soaked his slippered feet.

Eggsy’s hands held the edges of the counter with a white-knuckled grip.

Cautiously, but encouraged by Eggsy’s ability to control the feral parts of him that surely urged him to strike out, Merlin laid the cloth over Eggsy’s closest hand.

Under the saltwater compress, the leeches loosened their bites. 

Merlin coaxed a group from the pulse point at Eggsy’s wrist and dropped them into the sink.

Eggsy hissed and snatched his arm to his chest when Merlin tugged at a larger worm, drawing blood.

“Apologies, m’lad. Apologies.” Merlin let his concern for Eggsy seep through his practiced calm.

Although he shook with distress, Eggsy allowed Merlin to remove leech after leech.

But as time went on, Merlin’s concern grew. Despite the swiftness of his work, Eggsy was getting paler, his knees were buckling.

“Lose the shirt,” Merlin said, dreading what he’d find. As Eggsy stripped it over his head, Merlin shuddered. “Bloody hell.” 

Eggsy’s chest was infested with dozens of tiny creatures and pocked with bites where others had already fed and fallen off.

Merlin soaked flannel in the salted water and reached toward a patch of the parasitic worms. “May I?” He looked up at Eggsy and saw his blue eyes were unfocused, confused. “I’m going to get these fuckers off o’ ye before they bleed ye dry. I’ll move faster. There’ll be more pain.” 

Eggsy gave a slow nod and his eyes drifted closed for a long blink. He leaned heavily into the corner of the counter and resisted when Merlin tried to bring him to a table.

“Do it,” Eggsy said through bared and clenched teeth as he braced himself for the worst. 

Merlin wrung out the washcloth over Eggsy’s shoulder, letting water run down his chest and back. He dug his nails under the mouths of the leeches, pulling them off and tossing them away until Eggsy’s knees wobbled and he appeared too weak to stand.

It didn’t make sense. Almost all of the leeches were off and the wounds weren’t bleeding much. Still, Eggsy’s lips were white, almost blue.

“Trousers next.”

Merlin swore when he realized the mistake of the delay. The largest of the creatures had coiled themselves around Eggsy’s calf, latched onto a wound that must have been fresh, must have been what drew the parasites to Eggsy in the first place.

The washcloth was useless against the lock of their jaws on his flesh. “Bath. Now.”

Eggsy shook his head, but the movement was so slow and minute, Merlin almost missed it. “Gotta sit down a mo’.” His speech was slurred as he lowered himself to the ground, but in his exhaustion Eggsy’s wildness abated. “Ya go on. I’ll catch the next one.”

Eggsy was nearly curled onto his side on the tile floor when Merlin got his hands under the lad’s arms. “Don’t,” Eggsy gasped as he slapped away Merlin’s assistance. “‘m too heavy.”

“You’re not,” Merlin heaved Eggsy to his feet and wrinkled his nose at the distress suddenly clouding the space around them. 

“Did I hurt you?” They asked together. Eggsy’s words were no more than a whisper.

Merlin blinked at Eggsy who swayed into his arms, then helped him down the hall into the nearest bedroom and bath.

He had Eggsy down to his pants and submerged in steaming saltwater as soon as the tub was full. 

Merlin held Eggsy’s leg under water before safely prying the biggest of the suckers from his skin. When those were dispatched in a bin, Merlin continued with the smaller worms that remained.

Hunched forward so Merlin could work on his back, Eggsy made like he was picking leeches off his legs. He could hardly keep his eyes open; he felt himself nod off more than once or twice. 

“Bloody hell, Eggsy. What were ye thinking?” Merlin grumbled as they filled a bin with fat worms, but concern vibrated in his touch.

Eggsy groaned in reply. 

Embarrassed and exposed, Eggsy pulled his knees to his chest. His thanks and apologies couldn't fit into words. Eggsy hid his face in his hands and did his best to stay awake.

With the leeches off, he'd heal. That's what he kept telling himself. That's how things like this went when he was younger.

Merlin poured another pitcher of warm water over the lad’s back. He smoothed his hand over the reddened skin and hushed Eggsy’s mind.

“Do ye feel anything in your nose? Eyes?” he asked, after the last of the visible leeches had been removed. 

“No,” Eggsy croaked. But when Merlin turned his back to grab a towel, Eggsy had a peek under his own pants. He reached down and yanked a pair of leeches from his inner thigh. “I think that’s all.”

Merlin drained the water and showered Eggsy off until the stench of peat, sand, and blood had washed down the drain. What remained was the remnants of a passing thunderstorm. Static seemed to crackle in the air. It left a tingle in Merlin’s nostrils and brought the hair on his arms to stand on end.

Eggsy was already feeling better, more coherent by the time the last of the hot water was spent and Merlin helped him over the ledge of the tub. 

“I’ll set up for first aid on the bed.”

Eggsy stumbled over the bath mat, confused as to why his feet wouldn’t walk the way his brain told them to. 

“Unless ye need me to stay,” Merlin amended.

“Can handle m’self.” 

Gingerly, Eggsy toweled off and changed into the dry pants Merlin had hung on the door. They were a snug fit, but Eggsy was so concerned with not tripping over himself that he didn’t notice the button fly was pulled tight.

Merlin knocked before opening the door a crack. 

Eggsy wrapped the towel around his waist and tucked it secure. “Yeah, ‘s alright.”

“Come,” Merlin said, extending his hand and offering strength Eggsy desperately needed. “I’ll help ye.”

There was a groan as Eggsy collapsed onto the mattress; he wasn't sure it it came from the old bed frame or himself. Lying on his stomach, Eggsy allowed Merlin to tend to the smaller bites first. 

Merlin disinfected and dressed each wound professionally, but there was a tenderness with which he moved. In the way Merlin laid his hands over patches of unmarred skin, as he assessed the next wound and the next, Eggsy could imagine the depths of his caring. 

Merlin's touch and the comfort of being in proximity to his warmth felt more a remedy to Eggsy than the ointments he used.

The time came to roll onto his back and Eggsy hissed at the sensation. Each bite throbbed and his joints ached. Eggsy lied still, eyes closed, and let Merlin do the rest.

“That leg likely drew ‘em right toward ye.” Merlin waved his hand at Eggsy’s shin, exposed as the towel only came down to Eggsy’s knees.

Eggsy bared his teeth and trembled as Merlin disinfected his wound. It stung, still scraped raw from falling through the porch more than twelve hours prior. It should have scabbed over, at least. 

He could feel each lesion struggling to heal against the anticoagulant of leech secretions and the hormone suppressant that poisoned his cells. The way the suppressants lingered in his system had Eggsy’s blood pressure rising, but the anger drained him of what energy he had left.

“There’s tea in the cupboard,” Eggsy said softly as he tried to moisten his lips. His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth. “Loose leaf,” he specified. “In a blue jar.”

“Aye. I’ll put a kettle on soon as we’re done. Then ye get some rest.” Merlin sat back to survey his work. “Need to check under the--”

Half asleep and uninhibited, Eggsy untucked the towel and let it fall from his waist.

Merlin didn’t stare, but he knew tea wasn’t the only thing he would bring back to the room when he went out. The lad needed his own pair of pants to be comfortable and properly covered up.

The small bites along Eggsy’s thighs were few and far between; after a spray of disinfectant and a bit of ointment, they would heal without plasters.

“All right, Eggsy?” Merlin asked as he laid a thin blanket over him. “I’ll be back.”

With a sleepy nod Eggsy turned onto his side. He hugged the blanket to his face and sighed.

When Merlin returned with tea tray and clothes, Eggsy was whimpering, asleep. Merlin slipped into the space beside him, semi-reclined against the pillows and projected peace to calm the lad’s dreams. He ran his fingers through Eggsy’s damp hair. 

Eggsy stirred under his touch and Merlin flinched. He hadn’t meant to disturb him. But Eggsy moved closer, not waking. 

In his sleep, Eggsy reached for Merlin, his arm snaking around Merlin’s hip and closing the distance between them. Eggsy face burrowed into Merlin’s side, scenting him, nosing at Merlin’s stomach until his head came to rest on Merlin’s thigh.

Merlin froze. 

Eggsy bent his arm so his hand alighted Merlin’s abdomen. His fingertips caressed the hard swell of pregnancy and went limp. 

Eggsy’s soft snores returned; Merlin hadn’t moved, didn’t move -- for how long, he couldn’t say. All Merlin knew was that he had never felt such content and hopefulness as he did in Eggsy’s embrace.

Merlin’s watch beeped on the nightstand, pulling him from his stupor -- a reminder to take his vitamin.

When Eggsy opened his eyes, Merlin was silencing his alarm and taking a pill bottle from the bedside drawer.

“Wait,” Eggsy croaked through his dry throat. There was something about the pill, something he needed to say. Urgency flooded his already pounding head. His voice was thin, cracking as he mumbled incoherent pleas.

Merlin looked down at him, curious.

Eggsy tried for a deep breath and coughed. He tried again and gathered the strength to mumble, “Don’t.” His voice was weak as his body invested its energy in healing his wounds. Eggsy worried he hadn’t been heard. 

He tried for Merlin’s hand, but his arm was like lead; his hand wouldn’t leave Merlin’s stomach.

Heat surged into his palm and Eggsy remembered the reason for his panic. “M’ pup.” His low growl was stronger than his voice, but nowhere near its potential. At Eggsy’s core something burned with possession, protection.

_Mine_ , it told him. He brought his face to Merlin’s abdomen and nuzzled its swell.

Merlin stared, startled by Eggsy’s affections in sleep and waking, unsure how to respond to the intimacy. His hand hovered over Eggsy’s bare back, before laying on Eggsy’s head as before.

“They’re making ya sick,” Eggsy said, glaring at Merlin’s hand as if he could disintegrate the bottle with a look. “Both of you.”

Suddenly, he remembered himself, realized where he was lying, what he was saying. Eggsy shifted on the mattress, but couldn’t bring himself to remove his hand from shielding the baby.

Merlin brushed fringe from Eggsy’s brow, touched by his concern and confused by his knowledge of the suppressants and the pregnancy.

Merlin showed Eggsy the tablet to ease his nerves.

They were different than Eggsy’s, in color and shape. But of course they would be, designed for an omega, not high alpha.

“Prenatal vitamins.” 

Eggsy blinked. “The bottle.” The pills were different, yes, but the bottle and label were the same.

“How do ye know this bottle, Eggsy? Why would they offer-- Why would ye choose--”

Merlin felt Eggsy’s tension spike and understanding softened his own features. “Ye are alpha.”

A rumble started in Eggsy’s chest. His healing factor was doing its job. He wouldn’t have been able to defend himself if it came down to a fight with one who was Kingsman trained, but he might have been able to run.

“Ye are Alpha,” Merlin repeated, but his intonation was different. 

Eggsy heard realization in Merlin’s voice. He understood Merlin wasn’t upset or afraid.

“When did ye stop taking the pill?” Merlin’s hand was still in Eggsy’s hair; Eggsy’s hand still on Merlin’s stomach.

Dropping his gaze in guilt, Eggsy admitted, “Missed a few days in Kentucky. When I got back, the damn things didn’t feel right. Filled the prescription, but,” Eggsy’s anxieties eased as Merlin’s scent evened out with empathy. “Nah, haven’t taken ‘em steadily since before.”

He heard Merlin rummaging on the nightstand and forced himself onto an elbow with a wince.

Merlin poured them each a large cuppa. “Can ye sit?”

Eggsy did. It seemed he was able to pull away from Merlin now that he trusted the pup was safe.

They drank the tea to its dregs before speaking again. It soothed Eggsy’s throat and warmed him through. 

“You can’t do it,” Eggsy said quietly but firm. There was a hint of an order that came off him. He had made a decision and wished for Merlin to follow.

“Do what, exactly?” Merlin looked at him, daring Eggsy to make an alpha’s demands over an omega despite the lad being his junior in every way.

“The mission. Whatever it is, I’ll do it alone. I won’t have ya in danger, gov.” 

“I have to go,” Merlin insisted and he felt concern pour off of Eggsy in droves, “to a doctor in Kendal. Discrete. We’re a bit overdue for an appointment.”

Merlin sat forward and caught the scent of a summer rain -- crisp and fresh. Not having to hide from Eggsy, Merlin rubbed a soothing circle over his belly as his child bumped and turned. 

What contentment Eggsy had felt upon hearing Merlin was visiting the doctor his mother trusted quickly faded at the sight of Merlin’s wince.

“Are you OK?” Eggsy’s scent rose. “I shouldn’t have gotten ya all worked up.” Eggsy berated himself for losing control, for giving into the wilderness he told himself he could resist. 

Merlin assured him all was fine.

“Baby’s your mission, then.” Eggsy’s eyebrows lifted as his expression grew bright; relief filled the space between them. “Congratulations.”

At Eggsy’s sincerity and joy, Merlin’s vision went fuzzy with tears. He wiped them away in haste. “Blasted hormones,” he grumbled, but Eggsy suspected there was more to it than that. Merlin took a cleansing breath and looked to Eggsy with a sad smile. “You’re the first to say--”

Eggsy didn’t know what to do. He’d be whatever Merlin needed of him. Eggsy placed his empty mug on the nightstand and turned back to Merlin. He held out his arms and waited.

Merlin leaned into Eggsy’s bandaged chest. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” Eggsy lied as he exuded security. His arms wrapped tightly around Merlin to assure him all was fine.

Merlin let himself relax into the embrace.

“What’ll ya do?” Eggsy asked.

“I cannae take leave. Not to hide pregnancy or to take care of the bairn.” Merlin sighed. “I’m fucking Arthur, for chrissake.”

Eggsy swallowed hard and asked a question he didn’t really want the answer to. “Were you?” He held his expression neutral as possible while he focused on steadying his scent.

Merlin pulled away to stare up at Eggsy.

“You haven't mentioned a partner in all this. Was it _him_? Were you with Chester before--”

Merlin shook his head, but wasn’t ready to share more.

Eggsy tried not to take it personally, didn’t push, didn’t ask about Harry Hart.

“Oof.” Merlin rubbed at his tummy.

Eggsy’s eyes shone with excitement. “Was that the baby? Can ya feel the pup already?” 

Merlin shook his head, cracking a smile. “Only from inside.” 

He looked down at Eggsy’s hand splayed next to his and melted under the touch. Although Eggsy hadn’t asked permission, he wasn’t offended. Eggsy’s affections never felt intrusive.

“Oh,” Eggsy said as he blushed red, taking his hand back and laughing in embarrassment. His giddy cheer filled the air between them and sent Merlin into a chuckle of his own.

Through his laughter, Merlin admitted, “I missed you. When ye were away.” He didn’t realize the words were coming until he heard them in his own voice.

Eggsy blanched at the comment that seemed to come from nowhere. After a moment, he returned the sentiment. “Missed you, too, Arthur.”

“Ye may call me Sean.” Color rose in Merlin’s cheeks. “When it’s like this. When it’s about the bairn.”

“OK. Sean.” Eggsy held out his arms again. When Merlin settled within them, Eggsy ran his hand up and down Merlin’s spine. “Do ya think maybe... when the baby’s stronger I could...”

Merlin bent his head in a nod. “I think… maybe.” He still wasn’t sure what it meant that Eggsy had found the pup in his sleep, that Eggsy had been so protective when he woke. 

Merlin smoothed a line of medical tape over gauze on the lad’s chest. “It would be nice to have someone excited for the child along with me.”

“Their alpha isn’t--”

Merlin shook his head. “They don’t know. They’ve passed away.”

Eggsy was quiet as Merlin spoke. His suspicions all but confirmed that the pup’s father had been Harry. 

“He was a good friend. Would’ve made a wonderful da.” Merlin wiped his eyes and felt Eggsy’s cool lips on the crown of his head.

“I’m sorry, Sean.”

Merlin hugged Eggsy closer and suggested they get some sleep, but neither of them made an effort to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to chat about fandom or anything else, you can find me on Tumblr @[imjusttootired](http://imjusttootired.tumblr.com). I look forward to hearing from more of you! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update this earlier but a migraine knocked me on my ass for most of last week.  
> As always, thank you for all of your support and interest in this story. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> :)

****~**~****

The feeling of home really shouldn’t hit someone in the middle of the night, out of nowhere, in a strange bed and a town they couldn’t name -- but as Merlin lied against Eggsy’s chest, he couldn’t describe the safety of the place or the moment as anything else.

And that terrified him.

Merlin slipped out of Eggsy’s arms with his heart pounding and stomach twisting. The sounds of his shift -- the whisper of fabrics and creak of mattress springs -- weren’t enough to change Eggsy’s pattern of breath, so Merlin convinced himself the man slept undisturbed.

It shouldn’t have left his heart heavy to successfully exit the bed without waking his companion, especially not when that was his overall goal. Merlin rubbed at the ache in his back and gazed down at Eggsy’s tranquil features. He’d expected the lad to reach out, Merlin realized. To sense, even in his sleep, that Merlin was leaving.

And, oh, that’s what he was doing -- Merlin frowned and his feet took him to the ensuite where he relieved himself and washed -- he was leaving.

There was a perfectly made up and unoccupied second bedroom, his mind supplied helpfully. 

The babe protested, as Merlin made his way next door and settled down on the cold bed. In earnest they turned and kicked. With a heavy sigh that validated the baby’s frustrations, he lied on his side and sank into the pillow. 

Merlin buried his nose in the sheets with the hope they would carry the alpha’s scent, and he damned Eggsy for laundering the blankets before his arrival. He would have preferred the smells of paint and plaster over soap, as long as they came with notes uniquely of Eggsy.

****~**~****

Eggsy sensed Merlin waking before the man sneaked out of his embrace. He held himself still and steady as Merlin’s breaths turned quick and uneven.

Not giving away a thing, Eggsy summoned techniques taught to him by the former Quartermaster himself to appear unmoved. But, oh, his limbs buzzed with want to wrap themselves around his companion and make him stay. 

_Don't go._ Something within him begged.

It was uncalled for, to demand as much from Merlin. So Eggsy's plea went unsaid. 

Merlin had already gone beyond his duties as ‘Arthur’ in playing nurse and more -- indulging Eggsy’s curiosities regarding his health and history, divulging truths and accepting Eggsy’s own. Merlin was a true ally, but beyond the act they’d play for Bethany, the town, and doctors, Eggsy and Merlin were no bonded pair. They were not mates, only close friends getting through hard times, together.

Eggsy let Merlin go, allowed him a smooth exit, and swallowed his disillusionment into the emptiness Merlin’s absence left behind.

A light rain pattered on the siding. Any other night it would have helped him sleep, but tonight, as the wind shipped around the house, he became increasingly ill at ease. Eggsy threw his arm over his eyes and listened to the rattling of ancient window panes and steady drip.. drip.. drip.. that was surely not meant to be so close or in the room at all. 

_Shite._

At first, he told himself to leave the leak for morning. The walls were too thin to block the noise of Eggsy’s search and repair; he didn’t want to risk disturbing Merlin’s sleep. But after awhile, Eggsy couldn’t lie idle any longer.

Merlin’s mobile on the nightstand read 3:30AM, not far from the typical time Eggsy planned to wake. It was always a good idea to get an early start on repairs. 

Before heading out of the room, Eggsy found the source of the drip, set the kettle and a towel to catch the rain, and gathered the first aid supplies Merlin had set aside the night before. 

Quietly as he could, Eggsy crept past the second bedroom to the kitchen.

What he smelled there was enough to make him gag. Perhaps in his haste to return to Eggsy’s bedside, or maybe due to a stomach too sensitive to handle such a task, Merlin had left the kitchen a mess of blood, refuse, and worms. Shriveled bodies littered the floor and clogged the sink, giving Eggsy plenty to do while he waited for the rain to pass. 

When all was scrubbed with bleach and rinsed with clean water, Eggsy tossed the double bagged rubbish onto the porch. The rain had stopped, he noticed, as a chorus of crickets and the cicadas filled the breeze. Still, it was too dark to head out to the storehouse and his wounds needed tending.

Eggsy brewed a tall pot of detox tea and changed clothes. There was no indication Merlin was anything but peacefully asleep in the second bedroom; Eggsy stopped outside the closed door twice to check.

The tea steeped dark in the stock pot -- Eggsy hoped the stronger it was, the faster it would work -- its bitterness stung even before he brought a cup to his lips. 

Eggsy sat at the dining room to lay out his supplies, peeled back the bandages and shook his head at the healing that had continued through the night. Why Kingsman didn’t allow him the absolute miracle of his body’s own ability to mend itself was beyond him. This one thing, he thought, scowling; they couldn’t allow him this one thing that would have benefitted them all.

Then again -- Eggsy’s heart rate quickened as a fear he didn’t recognize came to mind -- if the Kingsman scientists had known the extent of this, who is to say it would have stopped them from looking for ways to extract the ability for their own use?

The cotton pad soaked his shin in disinfectant as his hand hovered motionless above it. 

Factories, institutions, prisons -- that’s where Eggsy had been told his kind were sent when they’d been discovered. And Eggsy had believed it, believed Dean when he’d insisted he was acting in Eggsy’s best interest keeping him out of the taxed and monitored employment by keeping him in the streets. 

At Kingsman, however, Eggsy had seen how far science and technology had come -- at least in labs that worked in secret with seemingly unlimited funding. 

He shook his head to rid it of the anxiety that was doing nothing but clouding his mind. The cottage suddenly felt more important than ever. The 25th, the day they’d return to HQ, loomed too close for comfort.

****~**~****

Merlin woke in a dark and unfamiliar room. His joints protested as he stretched, but he had no desire to stay in bed. Not alone, not while so hungry.

The house was quiet as he went through his morning routine and dressed for the day. Merlin had a peek out of the small window in the bathroom and saw Eggsy walking through the field. _The lad should be resting, recovering,_ Merlin thought, _not out for a jaunt_. 

He opened the window to ask what the bloody hell he thought was doing. A gust of air blew in from the yard and Merlin latched the window against the cold with a frown. 

Merlin pulled on his jacket, a scarf, some shoes and rushed down the hall. With a momentum that almost flung him into the hole of jagged planks, Merlin threw open the front door. 

_The porch!_ Merlin remembered with a start, catching himself just in time; Eggsy had said it fell through.

Merlin lifted his scolding voice to be heard. “Elliot!” Unsure of where Eggsy had gotten off to, he leaned out of the house as far as he could to have a look around. It took three attempts before he heard a distant reply, but Merlin wouldn’t risk shouting ‘Eggsy’ or ‘Galahad’ into the open. They’d need to get used to their aliases and use them.

Eggsy was working through his nervous energy, moving from task to task as he came upon it. He’d done anything he could think to distract him from the realizations that had set in just hours ago. If he wasn’t keeping busy, he knew he’d be worrying about things he had no control over. The thought of laying that stress on Merlin in his delicate state was flat out unacceptable.

At Merlin’s call, Eggsy looked up from his workbench and frowned. The man sounded off, annoyed maybe. Eggsy had never heard him shouting at full volume. There was another call for ‘Elliot’ as Eggsy jogged in from the field behind the house. Then a third came, weaker than before but distraught. 

“What--” Eggsy started to ask, rounding the corner.

The snap of the question startled them both; then Eggsy saw Merlin on his toes at the edge of the doormat. His body moved automatically, leaving his mind to catch up as he all but hoisted himself over the rotting rail and into the gaping hole to ensure Merlin wouldn’t fall in himself. 

Smart enough to remain perched on the one beam he had learned could withstand his weight, Eggsy held out his arm in a ‘stop.’ His chest was heaving, not with exertion, but panic. “Are ya barking mad?”

The sight of Eggsy had Merlin taking a step backward, speechless. _Might be,_ Merlin mused to himself as he found he was breathing heavier than the man who had run and leapt to his ‘rescue.’

Seeing Merlin was obviously in no imminent danger, the alarms in Eggsy’s head dulled their tones. The railing groaned under him as he sat waiting for his body to feel the relief his brain promised should be coming.. 

Merlin was starting -- at what, Eggsy wasn't sure. 

Eggsy wiped his hands on his jeans, then folded his arms over his body. Maybe they'd muffle the sound of this pounding heart. “You need me?” he asked. 

_Aye,_ Merlin felt compelled to say, but his brain and mouth were having trouble making any connections. What with the sweat of Eggsy’s bare skin catching the sun, Merlin was surprised he was still standing. Need; what an interesting and perfect way to describe the warmth unfolding within him each passing day. 

Eggsy blinked at Merlin’s silence. Amused and confused at his friend’s inability to give reason for his shouting, Eggsy regarded him with a half-cocked grin. “Let me finish up out here, yeah?” Leaving a job in the middle didn’t bother Eggsy much, but having one less thing on his ‘to do’ list would help to ease his mind. It was something under his control; he needed more of that: control. “I’ll meet you inside. Won’t be more’n an hour.”

Merlin was still staring. Last night Eggsy had looked like death and now he was the picture of health and virility. Even the bruising bite marks that covered Eggsy's skin appeared more in fashion of enthusiastic hickies than wounds that had bled the lad pale. It was an odd day, to be envious of a leech.

“That all right?”

Merlin cleared his throat and tugged at his scarf. The question he was being called to answer evaded him. He pulled up straighter and found enough composure to say, “Ye should be wearing a shirt.” There wasn’t more to his lecture than this. For all the trouble of his afternoon swim, Eggsy looked as though he was fine. “You’ll get sawdust in the wounds,” Merlin added for clarification.

Eggsy looked down at his arms and chest, at the wounds that had closed into marks that would fade. “Yeah, ok, gov.”

“I’ll fix us some food. Don’t ye wander off.”

Merlin narrowed his eyes, trying for chastisement but it came across, instead, as an intense scrutiny of Eggsy’s half-naked form. Abruptly, he turned and closed the door with more force than needed.

Eggsy was ready to roll his eyes at the entire thing -- the shouts, his own reaction, Merlin’s stares. He was ready, but not given the chance. At the slam of the front door, the railing cracked under Eggsy’s arse. His thoughts were so full of Merlin and his piercing gaze that he crashed to the ground as the whole bloody beam gave way. 

“Fucking hell,” Eggsy grumbled, his back cushioned by the tall grass and his eyes squinting into the noon sun. Of course, at this, Merlin doesn’t return. Eggsy took the opportunity to roll his eyes then, wondering what the hell was happening to him.

****~**~****

There was no mistaking the inevitable and complete collapse of the porch.

Merlin rushed to the window and pulled back the curtain, watching in awe as Eggsy muttered to himself and pinched at his nose in a scowl. He stayed until Eggsy popped up from the ground. 

Merlin hummed to himself as Eggsy twisted in a stretch. Naturally, he was unharmed. Merlin’s relief was shortly joined by appreciation of the muscles of the man’s shoulders and back as they pulled and flexed. 

Hunger returned full force. _For food,_ Merlin told himself; his stomach and the baby seemed to agree. But the way he craned his neck to watch Eggsy walk away spoke of something different. With a sigh, Merlin headed to the kitchen admitting he wasn’t truly surprised.

Merlin was set to put some oats to boil and possibly eggs to fry when he remembered the state of the kitchen last night. Thankfully, Eggsy had cleared out the sink and wiped up the floor, but it disgusted Merlin not knowing how deep of a clean had truly been done. 

Eggsy was so proud of the work he had done on the house -- and Bethany’s near constant stream of compliments were testament to how much he had improved the condition of the home -- Merlin wanted to do something to help out.

He found cleaning supplies in the utilities room and scrubbed the kitchen from top to bottom. His clothes were covered in Mr. Muscle disinfectant by the time he was done. Eggsy still wasn’t in, so Merlin set his clothes to soak while he changed, came back to rinse and hang them dry. 

When Eggsy came in through the side and Merlin was surprised at the lack of kicking and slamming it took to get the door open and closed.

Eggsy returned the little smile Merlin offered in greeting and breathed in the pleasant comforts of home and… Well, not mate, but… Eggsy had to admit, Merlin was taking his role of Murdock rather seriously today. 

“Cottage life settling in easy once ya let it, innit?” he asked. “Should I run a wash line off the porch? I’m sure we’ve got more laundry than that.” 

Merlin frowned, taking a look at himself. Barefoot and pregnant at the stove with porridge simmering. “Beg pardon?” He was almost offended. Almost. The innocent, open expression gracing Eggsy’s face had him reconsidering the knee-jerk reaction.

Eggsy went to the table where Merlin’s clothes were draped over the chairs, dripping puddles onto the tile. “I’ll run a line to a tree. Be right back.”

“Oh. Nae, I--”

Eggsy waited for Merlin to finish. Work on the house and yard had exhausted his mind enough that Merlin’s mere presence held him in peace. He was in no hurry to rush out.

Merlin didn’t want to cause Eggsy any more trouble, he’d already slept until almost noon while Eggsy had obviously been productive. “I have porridge on,” he stated, unable to come up with anything more while Eggsy’s alpha pheromones permeated the kitchen. The sweat and small bruises left him looking utterly debauched, which helped none at all.

“Yep. Smells great.” Eggsy ducked into the utilities room for braided twine and gathered the clothes on his way out to the porch. 

When Eggsy came back in, he washed his arms and face at the sink and sat down to his bowl of oats. “Cheers.”

Merlin sat with him, doing his best to keep his eyes on the food or Eggsy's face or the interesting wood grain pattern of the table. Nonetheless, his eyes drifted to Eggsy's muscled arms and chest despite his efforts. They'd seemed to have grown since his months as a candidate and were still swollen from what work he'd done in the morning. 

Eggsy stopped short puffing his chest, but there was no need for the little flex in his bicep as he reached for his glass of tea. Or the sigh of contentment he gave at finishing the drink. 

He rather enjoyed the rise in Merlin's interest, but as soon as Eggsy realized he was all but peacocking for the omega and doing it quite subconsciously, embarrassment squashed the show.

Merlin cleared his throat and, yet again, averted his gaze. “I should be thanking ye for all you’ve done here.”

Eggsy shrugged, attempting nonchalance and wishing he'd pulled on a shirt before accepting the meal. “I like the work; been restless without missions and all.” 

He had a quick glance at the marks on his arms. Merlin had been right about the sawdust; the damn stuff had gathered in the few scabs that had yet to flake off. 

“I can have a look at the bites when we’re through,” Merlin offered with no untoward intention, despite the warmth that stirred at his core.

“Already done. They’re healing well.” A thorough shower would do him good, Eggsy knew. It would be better to handle this himself, better than having Merlin’s hands on him again. Those hands confused Eggsy with touches that meant less than what he wished. 

“The detox tea Dr Dewey gave works well on everything, I guess. Even leech bites.” 

Eggsy wasn’t sure how much Merlin knew about high alphas. He wondered if Merlin had had any in his family and perhaps that was why he had so few questions. Wishing to avoid having questions turned on himself, however, Eggsy didn’t entertain his curiosity.

Merlin’s eyes fell to Eggsy’s empty glass and he stuffed a quick spoon of porridge into his mouth. He was up from the table and at the fridge before Eggsy knew what he was doing. 

“Ya don’t have to do all this,” Eggsy said as Merlin filled his drink from the jug of cold tea. Merlin looked up at him with an unreadable expression and not knowing what it meant to have Merlin’s careful attention tied Eggsy’s stomach in knots. 

“And ye dinnae have to build us a house.” It didn’t sound like a reprimand. 

_Us._ Eggsy pulled his bottom lip between his lip, in thought. Only yesterday, as Merlin had taken in the sight of the house with contempt and perplexity, it would have sounded like the start of a lecture.

“Told ya, gov. I like doing it. Feels good, useful.” Eggsy didn’t say he had done it out of a puzzling, compulsive desire to please him. He didn’t admit that now he feared he’d need a place to hide away after… after whatever returning to Kingsman would bring.

“Well, I like doing _this_ ,” Merlin said, pouring tea into his own cup and settling back into his seat.

They didn’t mention the night before by insinuation or detail.

After the meal, they made their way to the sink in tandem. Merlin handed clean dishes to Eggsy for drying and they engaged in casual conversation about repairs Eggsy was planning for the cottage.

“Ye really think ye will do it all in a few days time?”

Eggsy released a heavy sigh through his nose and placed a bowl in the cupboard before answering. “If we ain’t doin’ missions, maybe I can work from here?”

“Oh.” Merlin absolutely and immediately hated the idea. Then, he blushed in anger at himself for having such a strong reaction. Eggsy’s request to work remotely wasn’t without good reason -- even if, on the surface, they would both pretend it was to work on a rundown house for a kindly old lady.

Merlin stole a glance at Eggsy. “It should nae be a problem. I make the rules now--” he forced a chuckle “--I suppose.”

“Thank you,” Eggsy said and his mouth hung open, unsure if he should address him as Arthur, Sean, or Murdock. It was all getting so terribly tangled so quickly. 

“I, um…” Egggsy started and stopped, then remembered. “Bethany invited Elliot and Murdock for supper.”

Merlin nodded at the announcement, frowning as though he had been expecting Eggsy to say something else, though neither of them knew what. “Then, they should go.”

****~**~****

Merlin gaped at Bethany’s home as they walked up her cobblestone path; Eggsy watched him out of the corner of his eye.

“This is--” _like our cottage_ , Merlin finished silently. Aloud he said, “This is beautiful.”

“Yeah.” Eggsy noted the differences he’d like to make here and there, but the home was well kept and a great example of the potential of their cottage.

“She has a rose garden,” Merlin mentioned flatly.

It was quite extensive, impossible to miss. Eggsy couldn’t decipher whether Merlin’s remark was merely observation, compliment, or, for some reason, disapproval. 

“Ms. Archer knows of the bairn.”

Eggsy gave a quick nod, though it took him a moment to register bairn as baby mostly because his mind was still working out significance in roses. 

They climbed the steps in unison while Merlin continued. “So, there’s no need for Elliot, for you, to hide that you know either. You can acknowledge the babe and--”

Eggsy realized, although the pup had rarely left his mind, he hadn’t mentioned Merlin’s condition all day. He refused to dwell on those thoughts. They had rarely been clear of worry for Merlin or the child. 

“Belly rubs and baby talk, all ya want, gov. Promise to make it schmoopy and awkward as possible.”

Merlin scrunched up his nose. “That’s nae--”

Eggsy’s playful wink and the cool hand on the small of his back silenced him. Merlin released a breath half-hopeful disbelief half-exasperation. He doubted Eggsy would do anything to embarrass him in front of their host. 

But Eggsy as winked again and rapped his knuckles in a firm pattern against the door, Merlin quickly realized ‘Elliot’ was going to be a right little shite this evening. 

_Lovely._

****~**~****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Tumblr [@ImJustTooTired](http://imjusttootired.tumblr.com). :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at Bethany's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are awesome. Thank you so much for your interest in this story.

****~**~****

Bethany greeted them at the door in a day dress and apron. She blushed when she took in the cut of their freshly pressed suits.

“Ye two clean up well. Dinnae realize we gon’ be gussied up. I’d have worn my party clothes.”

Merlin and Eggsy exchanged a glance readying their excuses for wearing bespoke suits to what was sure to be a casual dinner. 

“Sorry, mam. All else I brought were them ratty blue jeans and a tracksuit, I’m afraid.”

“Oh, stuff your apology, boy! Make yourselves at home.” Bethany waved them into the parlor. Then, leaving the men to their own devices, she scurried off as quick as her stiff joints would carry her. 

Merlin and Eggsy idled in the open rooms. Everything was lit in a soft, cozy manner, by lampstands and the setting sun. Eggsy stood apart from Merlin as the latter gazed upon the interior for his first time. 

Bethany’s rooms were delightfully filled with bookcases and shelves. Knick knacks and treasures she’d collected were displayed prominently. Most appeared vintage, though to her they were likely acquired at the height of their popularity. Beyond that, the home was structurally sound, comfortably warm, and everything Wendel cottage had the potential to be.

Eggsy held his arms behind his back as Merlin ran his hands along the furnishings and mantle. He opened his mouth to ask Merlin’s opinion, but Merlin turned and the wistful gleam in his eyes rendered Eggsy speechless.

“Reminds me of my ma, me grandda. This home.” Merlin looked to the mantle once more and traced the edge of a frame. A series of photographs were displayed within, young ladies, by the water and in a field. Theirs was a love that started young, stretched across decades. It had been captured in images and displayed proudly.

“We don’t have any,” Merlin announced suddenly. “Photos. Couples in love have memories to share.”

Eggsy blinked as his heart lodged in his throat. In love?

Next thing he knew, Merlin was taking out his phone. “That’s all I have.”

And despite seeing himself looking disheveled and remembering the feeling of being half-frozen by illness, Eggsy was charmed Merlin had saved the picture to his files. 

“We got some catching up to do.” Eggsy wasn’t sure if he was talking as Elliot or himself. With a careful smile, he coaxed the phone from Merlin’s grasp. “But this is a start.” 

Raising his arm, camera at the ready, Eggsy noticed he and Merlin were already standing quite close. It would be so easy, so natural, to just-- 

Eggsy tipped his head against Merlin’s shoulder and at its warmth he forgot about keeping himself in frame and in focus. He thought he was imagining Merlin’s arm as it snaked around his waist and pulled him further into his side. 

Oblivious to the way his arm hung in the air in front of them, Eggsy looked up to be sure it wasn’t a dream. He gazed adoringly at the man’s handsomely stubbled jaw. When Merlin’s widening hazel eyes met his, Eggsy forgot what they were doing. 

Everything moved slower in the country. Sometimes it felt like time wasn’t moving at all.

Merlin adjusted the angle of Eggsy’s arm at the elbow. “Ready?” Merlin asked, signaling Eggsy to snap photos to capture the moment.

Eggsy blinked owlishly with his lips parted in anticipation of something that didn’t come. “Ready for what?” 

Merlin clicked his tongue as he allowed his fondness for Eggsy to come through. Then, he jutted his chin toward the phone’s camera hovering at Eggsy’s fingertips.

The strangled sound Eggsy made in awareness drew a low, bouncing hum from his companion.

Merlin wet his lips with the barest hint of tongue. “Shall we?”

They would have kissed then, Eggsy thought, if they had been entrenched in the bonded pair roles of Elliot and Murdock, if Merlin had reciprocated Eggsy’s honest attraction. As they stood at a narrow precipice together, Eggsy wondered if Merlin shared any of the desires Eggsy was tired of hiding.

Fleetingly, Merlin’s hand came to Eggsy’s cheek, but Bethany’s return scared it away again. Eggsy was left with the hope that maybe, just maybe, Merlin had been ready to follow him over edge. 

Bethany stood in the doorway wearing a navy cocktail dress and an indulgent smile. Her updo and the off the shoulder cut of the dress showed off her mating bite. It was a deep scar, high on her hunched back, as if renewed multiple times over the years. She gave no sign of embarrassment as the short length of the dress revealed her thick and veiny legs.

“You look beautiful, mam,” Eggsy told her with sincerity.

“Stunning,” Merlin agreed, and he held out his arm to accompany her into the dining room. 

“Thank ye, kindly,” she said, approaching them with confidence though her gait was halting. “See you’ve found my Sarah. Dare say none such a beauty as she were. Hair grew fiery as she did over the years.”

“And ye must be the striking blond; there’s no mistaking.” Merlin took Bethany’s liver spotted hand, a steady hold as her knees trembled in the low heeled shoes. 

Sentiment graced her features. Joy shone through her radiantly. Although the expression deepened the wrinkles around her eyes, she looked years younger.

Eggsy took Merlin’s other arm as they turned toward the hall, with neither invitation or hesitation. Merlin couldn’t stop him without arousing suspicions, nor did he want to.

In a line too wide to gracefully pass through the narrow halls, Bethany led them to the dining room. Merlin remarked on the small painting studio they passed and the artwork adorning the walls. 

Their host ushered them along. “A thing to pass the time,” she said with a bit of glow to her smile. “Paid a bill or two, once upon a time.”

Eggsy craned his neck for a better look. Her workspace stood apart from the madness of tarps, easels, and things of which he knew little. No sooner had he caught a glimpse of her work in progress, than he was led further down the hall.

The dining room was no less impressive than the rest of Bethany’s home. 

Most eye catching, Merlin opined, was a wide oceanscape filling a wall across from the long line of windows. Perfectly lit by the setting sun, the waves glistened as they crested and rolled to shore.

“Can I pour us cocktails while the rolls finish in the oven?” Most comfortable being busy, Bethany was on her way to the kitchen before an answer could be given.

At the mention of alcohol Eggsy’s eyes went to the unborn pup and then to Merlin’s face. Although his mum had abstained while pregnant with Daisy, she had had friends who insisted a drink now and then wouldn’t cause any harm. 

Bethany passed a highball to Eggsy, something that smelled delightfully strong, and a tall glass of what appeared to be sparkling water to Merlin.

“Don't know your thoughts on it, but ye may help yourself to a measure of gin should ye be so inclined.”

Merlin politely declined in favor of the water and drank it quickly before going for more. When Merlin returned to his side, Eggsy dragged his hand down Merlin’s arm in something akin to approval, then pulled out a chair for the man to match the touch of chivalry he'd displayed to their host.

Discussion over dinner was lovely and light, ranging from weather to home repairs and upkeep. Eggsy mentioned his wish to continue working on the cottage despite their unavoidable return to London and Bethany expressed nothing short of delight.

“There’s nae an obligation, son. But I surely cannae turn away company and skill such as yours.” She ladled a second helping of stew into Merlin’s bowl. “The bairn will have ye skin and bones if ye don't keep up with your appetite, Murray,” she chided. “Best believe I’ll be keepin’ eyes on ye as well during visits. Expect to meet the little one when they come.”

Merlin nodded shortly, thoughts of the doctor’s appointment coming forward. He shifted in his chair as his worry rose, closer to Eggsy and the comfort of his unwavering support. 

“Wouldn’t dream of staying away from your cookin,’ mam,” Eggsy said in preparation to change topics. “This is delicious, by the way.”

“Tis,” Merlin agreed, heartily devouring a large chunk of potato. “May I ask for your recipe?”

“Dinnae have anything written down, but I’ll be happy to show ye one of these days.”

Merlin smiled at the offer and breathed easier with his hand intertwined in Eggsy’s. He had lost track how many times Eggsy had reached for him that night. After pre-dinner drinks had brought color to Eggsy’s cheeks and a shine to his eyes, it seemed ‘Elliot’ had slipped right into place. Merlin gave Eggsy’s fingers a squeeze and reminded himself he had an alias to keep up with as well.

Unlike the impression Eggsy had given on the welcome mat, Elliot’s attention to Murdock was surprisingly tender. Merlin found himself thoughtlessly leaning into Eggsy’s touches, returning his soft gazes, and blushing when Bethany commented on the love they shared.

“How are things with the wee one on the way?” Bethany asked innocently. 

“Fine enough,” Merlin answered with a twinge of doubt. “Thought I’d fallen ill at first. Then Elliot had a touch of what we thought was the same, but--” he added a well-timed chuckle. “Was all a shock when I found out.”

Eggsy sensed the way Merlin forced the laugh and moved his leg so it pressed against Merlin’s ankle to knee. 

“But ya weren’t a flu, little bug, were ya?” Eggsy ducked to Merlin’s chest as he spoke, his hand resting over the lowest part of Merlin’s belly as if he knew by instinct exactly where the baby lied.

The bairn turned under Eggsy’s palm, but there was no sign Eggsy could feel the movement. Merlin laid his hand atop Eggsy’s and his heart skipped as it frequently did when their eyes met.

“You all right?” Eggsy’s question was quiet, private. Merlin understood it was his way of requesting permission after the fact.

Merlin breathed in Eggsy’s uncertainty and exhaled the comfort he felt under the lad’s touch. Between them, time stood still. 

Then, Eggsy’s glasses pinged with a call from Kelsey. Eggsy pretended it was his phone and made like he was trying to ignore it. “It's work. It can wait.” 

One look from Merlin had him told him it wouldn’t. 

The next second Eggsy was wishing the babe a momentary farewell. “Manners say I shouldn’t, Bethany, but do ya mind if I--”

Bethany was dishing out extra potato cakes, convinced Merlin could appreciate at least one more. “Go on then,” she said dismissively. “Give us time for a chat without your handsome face distracting us both.”

Eggsy chuckled at the flattery. Merlin blushed and had never looked more adorable or attractive.

Eggsy’s glasses pinged a second time, and in a hurry to check in with HQ, the kiss he meant to drop on Merlin’s cheek landed on the man’s lips. 

Stunned, it took Merlin a second to meet Eggsy's press of lips with his own. It was a gentle push. Quick. Chaste. But the excitement blossoming in his chest was remarkable. 

Heart aflutter and stomach in knots he didn’t know what to do with, Eggsy pulled slowly back. He couldn’t make a big deal of it. Elliot and Murdock had kissed countless times before and the thought gave him courage to dive back in for another. It was the same as before. But this time, with their eyes locked on each other, Eggsy felt something within him click into place.

Eggsy stood up straighter to exit. Speechless, he held Merlin’s gaze for as long as the moment allowed. 

Again, Kelsey pinged for Galahad and Eggsy lifted his hand to them both, excusing himself from the room.

Bethany smiled wistfully. “Every kiss feels like the first, does it?”

Merlin licked his lips to taste the wine Eggsy’s had left behind and he hummed.

****~**~****

In the garden, Eggsy answered Kelsey's incessant rings.

“Medical’s threatening to destroy the records,” Kingsman’s new Merlin announced in a rush. “To uphold confidentiality, they say. And I can't reach Arthur. He’s with you, yes?”

“He’s indisposed. Working on something big; can’t be disturbed.” Eggsy was steadfast in keeping this news from him for at least the time being. The man didn't need additional stress. With the worry he carried regarding the prenatal appointment, it would be best to hold off any negative reports from HQ until after they were assured all was well with their pup. 

_His_ pup. Sean’s. _And, bloody hell,_ Eggsy thought, _why does the thought of his name have such an effect on me?_

The knots in Eggsy’s stomach twisted and pulled tighter so that he was rubbing his abdomen for a kind of relief. The roses in the garden seemed to call to him. He walked the path, stroked a late bloom and frowned at the wilting petals until he caught it's scent. It smelled familiar. 

“Galahad.” Kelsey spoke with urgency, assuming she couldn’t act without Arthur’s go ahead. “Bedeviere is ready to go in, guns blazing.”

“So what if the files are destroyed?” Eggsy expressed honest curiosity as he peeled thorns from the bush. “What happens?” It didn’t seem like a terrible thing for his and Merlin’s histories to be wiped from record. He wondered who else in the service would be relieved by such a mishap.

“Shows them we have no authority, doesn’t it? They get away with this. And why? They’re our own files and those of the deceased. What are they hiding?”

“Arthur can’t be bothered right now, Merlin.”

An odd element to Eggsy’s tone had Kelsey refrain from a challenge. “As soon as possible, then,” she said, but what was meant to be an order came out like a plea. She pursed her lips like she’d tasted something sour at the baffling disconnect.

“Of course.” Eggsy replied before the connection to Control was closed. 

He pinched rose petals between his fingers, drawing out their oil and bringing them to his nose. Realization dawned on him as the moon peeked out from the clouds. Suddenly, he couldn’t bear the feeling of being apart from Merlin or the baby any longer.

****~**~****

Merlin and Bethany were deep in chatter about bonded pairs and ceremonies when Eggsy returned. He shouldn’t be so comfortable eavesdropping as he’d become, but he enjoyed listening to the friendship Merlin was developing with their neighbor.

“Been so long since Sarah.” Bethany paused with a faraway look. “Your Elliot, always careful with his temperament, he is. Not her.” The painting caught her eye. “She was wild. But ye can smell the same on him, can't ye?”

“A storm brewing afar,” Merlin answered without having to give it a thought. “Closer when he's upset.” Of course he recognized the scent and feel of Eggsy just inside the room behind him. Merlin beckoned Eggsy back with a pat to his empty chair.

“Aye. My Sarah smelled of the sea. Her love fierce as a tempest. Came out of nowhere and knocked me right over. Carried me with her. Our love was an adventure.” Bethany watched the painting with growing interest, as if it played her memories like a screen. 

After a minute and a lonesome sigh, she turned to Merlin. “How was it for you, lad?”

Eggsy smirked at someone calling Merlin ‘lad’ and froze as he started in on ‘their story’ without pause.

“We began as private investigators together. Now I work as a tailor.” He glanced down at his suit with a modest shrug. 

“Ah. The return to the city.” Though she wasn’t privy to the reason of their arrival in the first place, Bethany understood the need for their departure. “Afraid ye won't find much work in that field way out 'ere.” 

“Nae, but online shopping may be something to look in to.” Merlin spoke like he was truly considering a stay in the country, a change of pace.

Eggsy couldn’t argue with raising a child in the country; he had little good to say about city life.

“I went into private investigation ready for a bit of adventure,” Eggsy added. 

“Bet ye found some in Murdock.” Bethany pointed out the marks on Eggsy’s neck for the first time that evening. “I remember tellin’ ye about Sarah’s love of making her claim known.”

Eggsy’s hand went to his neck in an instant. He’d forgotten the bruises.

Bethany pffted. “If ye were gon’ hide them marks ye would have done up your concealer before coming to this nosey old lady’s home, boy.”

Employing a leniency their aliases provided, Merlin raised his hand and rubbed a bruise behind Eggsy’s ear. 

“Hiding these bites never crossed my mind,” Merlin said. 

Eggsy couldn’t tell if the possession that wove through Merlin’s tone was Murdock’s or his own. He tried not to think too deeply about the who or why. Instead, Eggsy focused his energy on wishing for the touches to never end.

“We’d love to hear more about Sarah, if ya don’t mind us asking,” Eggsy made his quiet request. “I’ve never met an high alpha outside my gran.”

Merlin’s heart sank for Eggsy then and he brushed his thumb over Eggsy’s jaw. Throughout the meal he’d let Eggsy be the one to initiate intimacy, but seeing how eagerly it was received Merlin realized his foolishness in holding back. 

He pressed a kiss to Eggsy’s temple and accepted the weight of Eggsy’s head as he rested against his lips.

“Perhaps we should retire to the living room,” Bethany suggested. “Stoke a fire, put up our feet, and continue our conversation in relaxed comfort.”

****~**~****

Eggsy added a log to the fire as it burned down and turned the coals. When satisfied, he stood the poker on its stand and rubbed his hands together. He was eager to return to the cozy couch and the warmth of Merlin’s side.

Under Bethany’s warm gaze, Eggsy had been indulging in his affectionate desires. So it was without hesitation that he brushed his knuckles over Merlin's neck and shoulder before taking his seat on the sofa. It was a gesture he'd seen his grandparents exchange on occasion. 

Merlin shuddered as Eggsy pressed his scent gland and he reached up to hold Eggsy’s hand there a little longer.

Through the fireside chat, Merlin found himself enamored. Eggsy’s smile and touch were entirely too soft for him to ignore. Murdock may have plans to take Elliot's name and claim, but Merlin took this moment with Eggsy for himself. 

Eggsy nuzzled his neck, then, as if savoring their closeness as well, and Merlin couldn’t even acknowledge the tenderness in Eggsy's eyes without his heart taking a silly little leap. 

An after dinner brandy -- Eggsy’s second -- sat half gone on the coffee table. As Bethany added another measure to his glass, he asked her with a wink, “Are ya trying to get me drunk?”

“Only enough that you’ll share a secret.”

Eggsy raised his head from Merlin’s shoulder to look up at him, amused. His fingers danced over Merlin’s abdomen in a small, lazy, circle. “Oh? Which one should we tell, Mur?”

Bethany sniffled and all jesting was put aside. 

“That babe’s a miracle.” Bethany’s voice broke with emotion as she spoke. “Dinnae think it was-- Excuse my saying, Sarah and I tried for ages and-- Well, ye know what they say.”

“Oh, the pup wasn’t conceived of our union,” Merlin blurted out before he knew what he was doing. They had lied so much to the woman who was nothing but kind. Having her believe in a fairytale anomaly was crossing a line.

Eggsy’s gentle massage over Merlin’s stomach stopped at the pronouncement. Although he knew his feelings were unwarranted, his eyes stung and his stomach churned. 

“Happened before we met,” Merlin said quickly as Eggsy slipped out of their embrace. He kept it short. He didn’t feel comfortable divulging his sexual history to a stranger, no matter how kind she was. 

Eggsy sat at the edge of the sofa, breathing hard and looking ready to bolt. 

“Elliot,” Merlin said like a question and warning.

Eggsy couldn’t meet his eyes. He brought up his hand to ask Merlin to hold whatever he was about to say for later, then stood.

Merlin reached for Eggsy, surprised by the drop of his own stomach in feeling the visceral reaction to a truth they both knew. When Eggsy continued on, Merlin let him. 

Bethany sat across from Merlin, dabbing her eyes and wearing a pinched frown.

“I dinnae want to lie to ye.” Merlin said by way of explanation, his words slowed by remorse. “After all ye and Sarah gone through for all those years.”

“Can be nice to live in a dream now and then. I would have handled it. Better than your alpha anyway. Cannae be easy to be reminded someone else gave ye the gift he couldn’t.”

Merlin looked to the empty hallway and concluded Bethany was right, on a level. There was little chance -- smaller still, perhaps with the added factor of suppressant side effects -- that Eggsy would father a child of his own.

“Ye should go to him.”

Merlin wanted to. Every fibre of his being screamed at him to go. “May be better he has a moment alone.”

“Son, that is an alpha in need of reminder that ye and the bairn accept him as your own. I’ve seen the way ye let him in. Let him scent ye though the claim has yet to be exchanged. Whatever promises you’ve made to each other-- This isn’t m’ place to say.”

Merlin dropped his gaze to his knees and slowly shook his head. There were no promises, no claims waiting to be offered by Eggsy or accepted. Merlin’s shoulders slumped, but Murdock would have to go to Elliot and smooth this thing over.

****~**~****

Frighteningly aware of what was certainly an overreaction -- yet having no control over the surging, empty feeling -- Eggsy panicked. He’d attributed too much of Murdock’s love for Elliot as genuine interest from Merlin upon himself.

The hall was shorter than Eggsy remembered, offering a scant choice of hideaways until his gaze fell upon a set of double doors. The hole in his chest grew as he crossed the threshold into the dark.

Merlin found Eggsy pacing the art studio in the dark. He flipped a switch on the wall and was greeted by a lamp’s soft glow. Eggsy’s movements were like those of an animal, caged. His chest heaved with each slow breath; his eyes squinted for clarity in the dark as he walked along the windows. A sliver of moon came out from behind a cloud and did more to illuminate the room than the small reading light.

Unsure whether Elliot or Eggsy was standing in front of him, Merlin sighed.

“You don’t have to say anythin,’” Eggsy grumbled and suddenly Merlin realized he’d been standing in silence for a length of time he couldn’t measure.

Putting on a brave face, Merlin regarded Eggsy with all the tolerance of a partner, lover, and friend. In doing so, he was frankly honest as he told him, “Perhaps if your default emotion wasn't anger, it'd be easier to find words to say.” 

Eggsy bit his tongue knowing full well his default, for as long as he could remember, was fear. Fear for himself, fear for his family. And for some reason that radius of fear had crept outward to include Merlin and the baby. 

If it manifested outwardly as anger, however, then that was just as well. It would likely worry an omega less to see an alpha -- one supposed to provide security in all forms -- as an hothead, rather than running scared.

Eggsy’s silence provided Merlin no clue as to what was happening or what the situation called for. “My appointment is early. I'll have to leave earlier. Perhaps it's best we give our thanks and say our farewells.”

Eggsy turned to Merlin, his back to the window. With Eggsy’s features now hidden in shadow, Merlin watched his silhouette give a curt nod. 

He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that Bethany approached him next; he was lurking in her home, after all. She cleared her throat and Merlin excused himself to gather their jackets and promised a swift return.

“You are not so scary, alpha,” she said, once they had privacy.

Eggsy held his hands behind his back. It had never been his intention to instill fear in either of them; they had to know that. He wondered if his own emotion had bled into the air around him. The corner of the room hugged his shoulders in his attempt to retreat from her keen nose.

“My Sarah was wild as they came.” It wasn’t the first time she had described her wife in that manner. “There is no other way to put it. And even wild, I think, I may be understating her nerve and offending you at the same time.”

Eggsy lifted a shoulder and dropped it. He, of course, hadn’t known Sarah to compare her to himself. And there had been no other true high alphas in the gang he ran with in London. Sure, there were rough alphas who postured and took hormones to give them greater strength and a deeper growl, but… no. When Eggsy thought back, there was no one he could compare himself to -- all he had was what he’d been told. 

“Your omega worries about your bond, dear.” Bethany spared a glance at Merlin approaching from the hall, had him wait at the door to give Elliot time to digest what she’d said.

 _Bond._ An odd sensation tugged from his core at the word. Eggsy shifted his eyes to the canvas propped on the easel in front of him. The horizon of grey, blue, and black suddenly too interesting to ignore. 

Eggsy had let his true emotions slip into the role he was supposed to play as Elliot, but it was all Murdock who approached him in the studio. And that hurt -- maybe as much as being reminded that the pup wasn’t his, that no pup ever would be.

“Sometimes I forget.” The confession was a broken whisper, but Bethany was sure Murdock heard by the sudden bow of his head. Eggsy continued, pressing his hand to his heart, trying to ease the pain that threatened to strangle it. “I forget they're not mine.”

How could he feel torn apart by each reminder? How could it be, that in a day, he could feel so attached to, responsible for, protective of a tiny person he’d never met?

Bethany kept her opinions to herself; it was his fiance’s place to provide assurance and comfort in this situation, not hers.

After a time long enough Merlin thought Eggsy wouldn’t suspect he’d been overheard, he entered the studio.

“It’s late” Merlin said, his voice soft, understanding that in this moment, it wasn't the time or place to affirm Eggsy’s vulnerability. While under assumed names and under the eye of a very new friend, he let his own discomfort and tiredness be reason enough for their departure.

Eggsy looked up at him, cloaked in darkness, hand still pushing helplessly to his chest.

“Will ye take me home?”

At Merlin’s request, at his tone, Eggsy’s breaths came the faintest bit easier.

“Please, alpha,” Merlin hoped his sincerity would reach the furthest corners of the room, “take me home.”

****~**~****


	11. Chapter 11

****~**~****

Cricket chirps and cicada songs filled the drive to the cottage with something other than silence, yet left the car feeling emptier still.

When Eggsy pulled into their little lot and killed the engine, he gestured for Merlin to go inside without him.

As he stood from the car, Merlin looked down at Eggsy. The lad’s hands gripped the wheel tightly and his eyes stared into the woods behind the house. Merlin could sense the wilderness in him, just as Bethany had said of her mate.

“Will you come in?” Merlin asked with care not to test the storm.

Eggsy’s chin dropped to his chest; his shoulders rose and fell with a breath. “Not yet.”

“I couldn’t lie to Beth about that,” Merlin said, though he knew better than to push. “Ye know why.”

Eggsy’s head hung low. “Elliot and Murdock could have planned this, you know?” he grumbled. “A donor instead of the ex-lover, friend with benefits. Maybe they were getting nervous they couldn’t conceive.” He lifted his eyes toward the open door, but couldn’t bring them to meet Merlin’s. “Maybe we wanted a baby before it was too late, so we found a donor and went for it.”

Merlin noticed immediately when the ‘they’ turned into ‘we.’ His heart ached and cracked and broke, bit by bit, as Eggsy turned his face away from the overhead light.

“Yeah the marriage and mating wasn’t set, but that’s just a ceremony to celebrate the bond we already have.”

Caught by Eggsy’s rambling confessions - and certain the lad had no idea to what he was saying - Merlin stood dumbstruck.

Eggsy listened to Merlin’s slow breaths, felt the silence between them grow heavier still. If his friend really couldn’t understand, then he was putting up an effort not to. 

“Go on in, yeah?” Eggsy had his tie undone and was opening his shirt as he spoke. “I got energy to burn.”

“No late night swims,” Merlin managed to say. 

The corner of Eggsy's mouth quirked up in a forced, pitiful attempt at a smile.

****~**~****

Merlin wandered from bedroom to bedroom, keeping busy to help his mind calm.

Everything was confused. Things had been going well at dinner. Eggsy’s affections toward him had felt natural. Merlin had allowed himself to return what he could. He’d felt secure, until he cocked it up. 

_I forget they’re not mine,_ Eggsy had said in a candid moment. And then again, in the car - different words but all the same.

Merlin attempted another hour of menial housework. Is phone was silent in his pocket and the sliver of moon hanging in the sky gave away nothing of how far Eggsy had gone - or when he would be back. Merlin stood at the window, fogging the glass as uncertainty expanded in his chest with each breath. 

There were more productive things than staring into the dark, however. 

Merlin moved around the house - folding their clean laundry and tucking it into drawers, finding the ‘proper places’ for things on what shelves Eggsy had installed in the finished bedrooms. 

He found some semblance of comfort in the act. Making up a home felt _right_ , even if this one would only be theirs a short while.

****~**~****

The house was dark when Eggsy came in from his run. The rooms provided a quiet, settled atmosphere that fit the break of dawn but rang false against the buzzing in Eggsy's veins. At least his head felt clear, for the moment.

At the flip of a wall switch Merlin's sleeping figure came into view. Sprawled on the sofa, bathed in light, the image had Eggsy's heart in his throat. 

_He stayed up._ Or tried to. By the look of the paperwork spilling from the coffee table onto the floor, it seemed Merlin had chosen research to fill his time.

Merlin had always been a light sleeper, even before his time in the service. So he turned, of course, at the creak of floorboards beneath Eggsy’s feet. 

Blinking bearily at the lamp light, Merlin pushed himself to a seated position. “What parasites have ye been infested with now?”

Merlin’s joke fell flat and Eggsy hadn’t the mind to argue. What he'd already admitted aloud left him exposed, and embarrassment was only the top of the iceberg. Just thinking of stripping down in front of Merlin, being laid bare for examination had Eggsy squirming. 

_Too close,_ he thought. Everything about this trip was pulling him too close and, still, not close enough.

“I should wash,” Eggsy said, holding his expression flat. He let his feet land heavily as he continued toward the hall.

The scent of Eggsy’s exertion carried across the room and was anything but repelling. “I don’ mind so much,” Merlin said, perhaps not loud enough, as he made room on the second cushion. 

But Eggsy paused with his hand on the door to his room. He looked back at Merlin, watched him frowning in the dark, and Eggsy’s throat went dry. “I should wash,” he said again, but being alone with his thoughts hadn't been doing him any favors. 

_Too close,_ he reminded himself but looked for any excuse to stay. _Not close enough._

Merlin smoothed his hand over the empty space beside him. “It can wait.” The suggestion came like a question.

The narrow hall opened up to the sitting room before Eggsy even realized he had started moving. His feet didn’t stop until he was looking down at Merlin, near enough to recognize the omega’s warmth. The heat, or Merlin’s sleep-thickened scent, drew him in.

“Will ye talk?”

Eggsy lifted a shoulder and dropped it in the casual way he did. As always, the action betrayed Eggsy’s unease. 

Merlin readied himself for Eggsy’s retreat. But Eggsy didn’t move from his place.

When it looked like Eggsy wasn’t going to flee, Merlin gestured for him to sit. Then, he spoke again. “I hadn’t read the file.” 

It wasn’t the confession Merlin thought he’d start with, but it was a start nonetheless. 

“I thought this would be easy, to assume the roles. I’ve been too long from fieldwork, I think.”

Eggsy noticed the dossiers he’d drawn up for their aliases were what had been strewn across the coffee table in haphazard fashion. The scene was far from the careful piles of work Merlin kept at the office. He wondered which scene was true to Merlin - the mess of paperwork or the meticulous order of Kingsman.

“I didn’t know how long it’d be until your return,” Merlin explained his haste. An apology, of sorts, shone through his eyes and invaded the air. “I wanted to prepare myself for-”

Eggsy’s nose twitched and he glanced at the exits. He could find no reason for Merlin’s need to apologize. It was Eggsy’s own fault for taking offense to the truth. He had let his guard down at Bethany’s drank too much, gotten too comfortable, forgotten himself. 

It was going to drive a wedge between them because Merlin didn’t see Eggsy was the one to blame and because Eggsy was too scared to let him. 

The need to comfort Merlin, to apologize for the way he’d stormed out, was all that kept Eggsy in the seat. 

Merlin watched Eggsy for a sign he should continue, but the lad wouldn’t meet his eye. It wasn’t until Eggsy sat further back into the sofa that Merlin’s relief took the place of his worry.

Eggsy wrung his hands in his lap to keep from reaching for Merlin’s. Their hands had found each other so often over dinner, fit perfectly. Eggsy picked at his nails and dropped his eyes to the table of clutter. But he didn’t reach for a file either.

A distraction wasn’t what he needed, not when Merlin’s scent made it hard to focus on anything else. Merlin had been saying something. If Merlin was going to talk, then Eggsy owed it to him to listen. “All this to prepare? For what?”

“What I’m about to ask. I thought it would seem…” Merlin shook his head, because the dossiers told him how wrong his assumptions had been. There was so much truth in their character summaries and history - twisted, embellished, and simplified - but real. After reading them, Merlin understood the fears and insecurities Eggsy had written into Elliot reflected the lad’s own. Had he known this before, Merlin had a feeling the entire trip would have gone much differently. 

After a sigh, Merlin shifted to an open posture. Eggsy had shown such vulnerability, even as he tried to hide it. Perhaps, Merlin surmised, it was safe to do the same. 

“I didn’t realize the plan had been to assume our identities immediately and completely. And if that would make it easier for ye-” 

The muscles in Eggsy’s jaw ticked, but his gaze remained fixed on the table. Since day one it had been hard for Eggsy to figure out where he stopped and Elliot began. Since he’d drawn up the paperwork for the mission, Eggsy knew it would be all too easy to play pretend. Stepping out of the role, he’d thought, would be his biggest challenge.

“Elliot’s put so much work into this house for his family,” Merlin continued. “I can imagine how touched Murdock would be by all this.”

“Didn’t do it for the mission alone,” Eggsy admitted. He’d just wanted something nice for Merlin. After everything they’d been through; Eggsy had wanted to give him something of home.

Merlin nodded in misunderstanding. 

They’d talked about Eggsy lying low at the safe house until he figured out what to do about the failed suppressants. The doctors in Kendal, perhaps, would provide some insight or suggestion. More likely, the only answers they’d find would be at Kingsman. Merlin hoped there was at least one doctor still loyal to the service. 

“We should try it your way,” Merlin said at last. “Dinner was- It had been a long while since I felt-” Merlin couldn’t find the words without revealing his growing feelings toward Eggsy and burdening the lad with them. But, what had transpired between them the past few days - even longer - felt worth exploring. 

“Aliases,” Merlin explained, “full-time, while we’re away from the Estate.” He hesitated to touch Eggsy’s shoulder, but relaxed when Eggsy didn’t shy away. 

Eggsy stammered before finding words to concede. “I… yeah. Sure?” He wasn’t sure how that would change how they acted behind closed doors or what Merlin wanted it to mean. Eggsy couldn’t see any way asking about it wouldn’t lead to further disappointment and heartache.

Merlin’s fingers brushed the edges of Eggsy’s scent gland and his voice went soft. “It was easy for me, tonight. To be yours.”

Eggsy’s eyes went wide at Merlin’s words. Through the entirety of his time running through the dark, similar sentiment had weighed heavily on his own heart. 

He needed to know who was in front of him - Merlin or Murdock - but didn’t have the courage to ask.

“I dinnae mean to push ye away as I did.” Merlin’s palm rested fully over Eggsy’s shoulder. The thin material of Eggsy’s summer shirt did little as buffer between the cold of his skin and Merlin’s warmth. “It was insensitive of me to speak of the _matter_ casually.”

“But there was no lie.” Eggsy rose into Merlin’s touch, accepting all the comfort being offered. “I can’t…” he said in a shaky breath. “Sarah couldn’t.”

Merlin wrapped his arm around Eggsy’s shoulders and tucked him under his chin. “Your grandparents did. That’s enough to draw hope.”

Eggsy trembled, holding back a sudden shock of sadness. _Elliot’s_ grandparents had born their own child, but Eggsy’s father had been adopted.

Merlin held him tighter. “Is this all right?”

Merlin smelled like a heady mix of home and something much deeper.

“O’ course.” Eggsy cleared his throat, but didn’t allow himself to turn into Merlin’s embrace as he wished. If he had, he would have been tempted to seek comfort at the bend of Merlin’s neck. “I’m sorry for worrying ya. For making things more complicated.”

Merlin closed his eyes as Eggsy’s back settled against his chest. There were so many complications in this situation. And the only person even attempting to make things easier was in his arms, apologizing. 

Dropping his chin to the crown of Eggsy’s head, Merlin sighed. He had so much to say, but what words passed his lips instead sounded like a retreat. “You should sleep.” 

Eggsy readied another apology but stopped short at the feel of Merlin’s breath in his hair. The sniffs came quick, then, slow. As Eggsy listened, he found a pattern. Eggsy recognized the start and stop only from the old movies his mother liked so much. To be scented like this was one of Hollywood’s lies, or so Eggsy had thought. 

Merlin’s nose tickled his ear and a shiver ran down Eggsy’s spine. 

Merlin breathed Eggsy’s sweat-damp hair and the sudden urge to bare his own neck had him shifting in his seat. He caught himself before nuzzling into the crook of Eggsy’s shoulder, but only just.

Eggsy lifted his hand to the back of Merlin’s head in wordless consent. He wanted to tell Merlin he didn’t have to stop, that even if they were only playing a role Eggsy wanted to ride it out a little longer. 

After a drawn out inhale, Merlin keened. “Ye smell different,” he said, confused by the coil of desire heating up at his core. It hardly seemed the time to pursue his physical attraction to Eggsy.

“Like sweat, yeah?” Eggsy’s fingers moved over the base of Merlin’s skull. He kneaded the muscles and held Merlin’s face close. His face flushed with embarrassment as he said, “Told ya I needed to wash.”

Merlin wondered, but doubt grew in his mind. Soap wouldn’t rid Eggsy of the scent emanating from his gland. Of that, Merlin was glad. 

Keeping his thoughts to himself, Merlin let Eggsy excuse himself from the room. His eyes followed Eggsy as he walked out, admiring the breadth of his shoulders and thickness of his arms. More than that, Merlin indulged in the musk Eggsy left behind. It had him aching for a shower of his own. 

****~**~****

Eggsy’s stomach flipped as he entered the first bedroom. Merlin’s scent lingered there, perhaps in the air or on the sheets. The desire to sink into bed and surround himself in it beckoned him to the mattress and made his body react in ways it hadn’t for months. 

Eggsy avoided the bed, ignored the desire pooling at his center, peeled off his clothes, and stepped into the bathroom.

Standing at the sink, Eggsy brought his toothbrush to his mouth. He remembered the accidental kiss and replayed it for a minute before brushing the taste of Merlin away. The mint paste only did so much, however. The memory of Merlin’s blushing smile and warm lips remained raw enough to send Eggsy’s heart leaping and crashing at once.

His toes curled over the bath mat and Eggsy’s hands folded into fists. 

Eggsy turned the shower on and let the steam pour into the room. The wave of heat rolled over him and settled heavily at his abdomen with everything else - anxiety, embarrassment, lust. The latter wasn’t a foreign feeling, but not a common occurrence either. 

The shower was almost as inviting as the bed had been. A promise of wet heat all around teased him in ways he wasn’t ready to entertain - not when he associated it with Merlin, not when Merlin was playing a role.

Eggsy adjusted the water from hot to cold before stepping under its stream. The rush of it cascaded over his skin, feeling warmer than it had any right to. He reached blindly to twist the knob further.

Lathering twice, Eggsy inspected himself for parasites he’d be foolish not to consider. Thankfully, there wasn’t even a tick. Even so, purple-green patches marred his skin, revealing how desperate Eggsy’s situation had been the night before. 

The bruises were fading reminders of his night under Merlin’s care. 

Eggsy wiped a towel over his face and arms. Goosebumps lifted the hair from his neck, and Eggsy’s wish that Merlin had continued to scent him came forefront in his mind. He wondered how long that would have lasted, how far it would have taken them. 

Eggsy fought against the thoughts, hardly surprised by the force with which they held ground. He braced himself on the counter in defeat and watched his reflection breathe. 

As if taunting, the vanity light caught the still wet patch of flesh above Eggsy’s shoulder reminding him it was depressingly bare. 

****~**~****

Eggsy had a fitful hour of sleep before he woke to the smell of fried eggs and toast. He followed his nose to the kitchen and allowed himself a private smile as he watched Merlin at the stove.  
The muscles of Merlin’s back moved under his shirt, the fabric drawn tight now with the extra weight put on in pregnancy. Eggsy did his level best to keep from surveying the lines of Merlin's body, the new curve to his hips.

“Mornin’” Eggsy said tentatively as he sat. It looked like Merlin would rather shuffle around the kitchen than meet his eye. He took the opportunity to answer the message that had come in from Kelsey. <1300>, Eggsy sent, scheduling a time to check in with Control.

“Ain’t ya gonna join me?”

Merlin shrugged as he returned items to the pantry and ice box. “I already ate and we should head out soon. I dinnae think it’d be best if I attended this appointment without ye there.”

“Oh.” Eggsy swallowed a bite of toast and sucked butter from his upper lip as he tried not to read into it. Staying behind would have driven him up the walls. Plus, Merlin was right; Murdock and Elliot should go to the appointment together. 

Merlin continued his busy work, now wiping down the stove with a sponge.

Eggsy watched Merlin bend and stretch to reach the far corners of the counter. He wondered how much longer it would be before the baby would make the simplest tasks more difficult. Eggsy wondered why, if Merlin was so far along, he didn’t look it. 

When Merlin glanced at him with question in the lines of his brow, Eggsy hoped the smile he wore was one of assurance. “Sure, I’ll drive. Whatever ya need.”

****~**~****


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy supports Merlin through his the obstetric exam and the doctors make some curious observations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am overwhelmed by the positive response this story has garnered. Thank you so much to everyone for your new/continued interest. Your comments and kudos warm my heart and are very much appreciated.

****~**~****

The office lights weren’t as bright as Eggsy remembered, but the he smell was ‘off’. Under the fleeting glances of the other patients in the waiting room, his skin prickled enough the hairs on his arms and neck stood on end.

There was music playing. Overhead. Quiet. Eggsy latched onto the melody and hummed along as he took in the details of everyone’s face in the room. 

Sensing Eggsy’s unease, Merlin leaned into him, and he smiled when the baby woke with a turn. Merlin was noticing that more, now that he felt for it. When he and Eggsy were close, when they touched, the pup responded.

“The bairn is quite active at the moment.” 

Eggsy glanced over as Merlin caressed his abdomen in slow circles. “OK,” Eggsy said slowly, quietly, uncertain. “That's good, yeah?”

“Mmhmm.” Merlin rubbed his right side, where he could feel the baby thumping from within. His eyes were bright with expectation. “Would ye like to…?”

Taking a deep breath, Eggsy looked from Merlin’s hand to his face. His brow creased with caution as he diverted his focus to a teenager twitching nervously in a corner seat.

“Elliot wasn't so shy at dinner,” Merlin prompted gently.

“Yes,” Eggsy responded stiltedly, wishing he didn’t have to pretend he was answering for a person that didn’t exist outside this ‘mission’. “Yes, I’d like to, if…”

Merlin guided Eggsy’s hand from his pocket to the spot of movement. 

Eggsy breathed through his nose and followed the swell of Merlin’s small, hard bump with his palm. He couldn’t feel anything other than Merlin, but he imagined the tiny baby finding their arms and legs and thrashing them about in jerky movements like he’d seen on video.

Merlin gazed over at Eggsy who was concentrating intently, as if listening for the bairn’s cry. Light as a feather, Merlin’s fingers carded through Eggsy’s hair. “Do ye feel them?”

Eggsy didn’t respond right away, afraid if he said ‘no’ the moment would end. 

“Little bug, I…” Eggsy cleared his throat. “We went on a trip today.” Iit easier talking to the baby than Merlin. “Nice doctor is gonna let your Da have a look at ya. The doc will say you’re healthy and perfect. And then we’re gonna come home and I’m gonna make sure you're both well taken care of, ain’t I?”

When Eggsy started to pull away, Merlin held his hand in place. “I want ye there, in the office.”

Eggsy heard someone sniff and cough. He turned abruptly to the noise, as if offended, but quickly realized everyone was too caught up in their own reasons for visiting the doctor. No one was looking at them. No one paid mind to what he was.

“Elliot should be there,” Merlin said, drawing Eggsy’s attention by smoothing his hand over Eggsy’s. “It’d be off if ye weren’t.”

“OK.” Eggsy met the hazel eyes looking over at him and, despite being addressed by an alias, saw only Merlin. “Whatever ya need.”

“And you, as well.” Merlin's thumb brushed Eggsy’s knuckles with even strokes. “I know you’ve taken on more burden than is fair.

“Yeah, all right.” Eggsy slipped from Merlin's hold and rubbed his tingling palm over his knees. 

Merlin watched Eggsy fidget. “I take care of my own,” he said with more meaning than Eggsy dared grasp.

Between them a wordless moment stretched on. Unlike what had filled the ride home from dinner, however, this quietude had their tensions gradually fading.

Merlin's fingers returned to Eggsy's hairline. But with a sharp intake of breath, Eggsy sat back and out of reach.

“You’ll be a wonderful Da, Sean.”

Merlin wanted to correct him; insist he take on the role of Elliot a whole longer. His lips parted with his plea, but Eggsy spoke over him. 

“Don’t need me telling ya this, I'm sure, but you were a brilliant quartermaster and gonna make a fine Arthur,” Eggsy whispered, meeting Merlin's eye with a short smile. “Whatever form your family takes, it's gon’ be brilliant, gov, with you at the heart.”

Merlin struggled with a response. 'Thank you’ didn't seem enough, not when the thought of family included Eggsy and had Merlin aching at his core.

“Sorry, gov. I know ya said we-” Eggsy shook his head and took Merlin's hand in both of his. “Time to play Happy Family, yeah?”

“Aye,” Merlin steeled his expression to keep it from falling. _Time to play._

As the receptionist approached them, Eggsy remembered himself and the promise he'd made just minutes before. _Whatever you need,_ he had assured Merlin. At the thought, Eggsy squeezed Merlin's hand and gave him a boost out of his seat.

“Not so big I can't stand up myself,” he Merlin without true protest.

Eggsy followed the receptionist’s quiet lead, with Merlin at his side. A woman in a lab coat and stethoscope waited expectantly in the hall. 

“Getting in some practice never hurt,” Eggsy whispered just as they stopped in front of the doctor. 

Even as he said it, he felt the lie. Each moment spent pretending fueled his attraction to his friend, his attachment to the pup. And knowing they weren’t his caught Eggsy’s heart in a vice.

The unfamiliar doctor greeted them with the announcement she’d be handling Merlin’s case.

And Eggsy saw red.

****~**~****

“Dr. Dewey.” Anxiety was apparent in the nurse’s rushed and breathless speech. “Excuse me, sir. We have a situation in Exam Room 2.”

Dewey put down his fork. There were few incidents that threw his staff for a loop. Fewer still that caused his team to seek him out personally. 

“The new patient is here. The alpha with them was posturing. They were brought in right away, but--”

Dewey turned his attention back to his lunch. “My 3 o’clock? She's quite early.”

“No, sir. The _Alpha_. From a few weeks ago.”

Dr Dewey closed the tupperware and adjusted his glasses higher on his nose. The Alpha hadn't been one to cause a scene at his first visit. If anything, he was cautious about drawing unnecessary attention. “What set him off?”

“Room went cold when Dr Holland introduced herself and asked them in. He's with his omega.”

Dewey knew the mate’s file by heart. As he was the only Alpha that had visited his practice in over 20 years, the lad was hard to forget. “Anything else you'd like to mention?”

“We got him in before anyone understood his…” The nurse gesticulated meaningfully. “...I think.” The air between them was tense enough, the nurse didn't have to voice her concern someone may have scented their patient’s companion was more than the common alpha. “He's demanding they speak with you.”

“Of course.” Dr Dewey returned his meal to the fridge. He'd find time to eat between appointments, probably. If not, a hearty dinner would more than make up for it. Shepherd's pie sounded delicious.

However, all ll appetite left him when he entered the hall. Pungent was the word. He rushed to the cabinet, sprayed a freshening scent blocker in the air and took to Room 2 in hurried strides. 

The scent of high Alpha on alert and exasperated omega were a fascinating mix, but the sight of his staff cowered on the opposite end of the hall wouldn't do. 

“No one is touching me pup or mate,” the Alpha warned through his growl.

“Elliot, they can't do any exam without touching me.” Merlin tried not to read too much into the way his heart filled as Eggsy referred to himself and the pup as his own. 

But it didn’t take much playacting for Merlin's scent to match Eggsy’s statement of bond.

“Elliot, is it?”

Eggsy’s snarl faltered at the sound of Dewey's familiar voice, but the rumble in his chest persisted. “That's right.”

“You asked for me, yes?”

Eggsy backed out of the door frame to allow Dewey entry, but stood guard between medical staff and where the omega sat on the exam table. 

The paper crinkled under Merlin as he shifted. “Please, come in.”

“You must be…” The doctor allowed his patients to provide what names they chose. Their charts were coded for confidentiality anyway.

“Murdock Gillies.”

“Dr. Dewey,” the doctor introduced himself in return. I must inform you my specialty is in alpha variant medicine. I haven't taken on an obstetric case for a great many years.”

“You're taking ours,” Eggsy insisted.

It was unfortunate how justified the Alpha’s concerns for privacy were. Dr. Dewey wanted to grant his request without argument but had to insist, “My daughter will assist me. That’s Dr Holland you met out front.”

He extended his hand to the door and waved her and a cart of clunky equipment in. Eggsy smelled beta and cold, scientific curiosity on her immediately and tensed. 

“She'll assist me,” Dewey informed with no room for argument, “or I'm afraid you'll be putting your family at risk.”

Eggsy looked at Merlin in concern. 

“Morning, sirs.” Dr Holland wheeled in an ultrasound machine with confidence and caution. 

Dr Dewey stepped around his colleague and shut the door. “I'd like to ask you how you're feeling, Elliot. If the tea has helped. Though I dare say you appear a might better.” It wasn’t the entire truth. There was something more than nerves at work for the Alpha to react this strongly. 

“Feeling good,” Eggsy said, his eyes darting from Dr Dewey to Dr Holland and back. “Any chance we can get more? Mer-- Murray may need--” Eggsy's voice caught in his throat. No matter how hard he tried, his concern for Merlin and the baby’s detox wouldn't form into words. 

Dr Dewey nodded wondering if that was the right course of action for this case. But having no information beyond false names and a scent of bond, he was at a loss. 

“There are analyses to run. Blood work on both of you. You'll need to let us bring needles in.” Dr Dewey arched his brow at them both seeking permission. His eyes settled on Eggsy. 

“You think I can tell him what to do - to trust a pair of strangers - then you got a lot to learn. He's near 5 months pregnant and can still knock me on my arse.”

“I’m counting on it.” The doctor knew the dynamic of this pair was not one of submission and dominance. “Not asking you to make demands on your mate, Elliot. I need you to have a seat, calm yourself, and let us do our jobs. Your... _worry_ is putting everyone on edge - not just my staff.”

Eggsy looked over to see Merlin sitting on the table with a blood pressure cuff on. Dr Holland wore a frown as she recorded a second reading and started a third. Though Merlin wore a blank expression, Dr Holland's concern was evident. 

“We can take another look in a few minutes.” Dr Holland turned to her father. “Fairly high, but to be expected with…” Though neither had spoken their suspicions aloud, both doctors were on the same page. The Alpha was headed toward rut, the omega’s heat not far behind.

“Give it a minute or so,” Dewey agreed with his daughter. The blood pressure reading could wait until the Alpha had settled. “We can continue with the rest. Perhaps a look at the pup will ease everyone's nerves.”

It didn't. Not at first. Eggsy and Merlin's fears shot through the roof as Holland set up the equipment. The strength of their concern seemed an odd reaction to seeing the child, but the doctors kept their observations to themselves.

It was quiet as Dr Holland touched Merlin’s bare abdomen with the wand. Then, all of the sudden, there was a heartbeat. And a second, faster and softer, but strong. “There they are.”

Dr Holland took measurements right away as Eggsy and Merlin looked at the baby on the screen in awe.

“Can see their fingers,” Merlin gasped. “Their knobby knees and button nose.”

Eggsy squeezed Merlin's trembling shoulder. 

Dr Holland clenched her teeth as she continued her clicks and typing. She sighed heavily through her nose. 

“Not much of a poker face, Doctor.” Merlin's muscles were hard as stone under Eggsy's hand.

“Development is good, on track for 20 weeks. Heart, lungs,” she nodded reassuringly to the men in the room, “perfect as far as the anatomy scan can tell us. I’m taking a closer look at the heart now and it all seems good.”

“But…” Eggsy prompted stiffly.

“They're small. Everything in proportion. Don't see markers for dwarfism. But this baby is a wee one.”

Dr Dewey came closer to have a look. “I'd really like to get that blood work started.”

The two offered up their arm and Eggsy dropped a kiss to Merlin’s forehead. It wasn’t a kiss from Elliot to Murdock and Eggsy desperately wanted to let Merlin know. But to place that burden on Merlin when composure was stretched thin was the last thing Eggsy wanted to do. 

Eggsy kissed Merlin again, bent to his ear, and repeated the assurances Dr. Holland had made: organ development are on track, heart and lungs are strong and getting stronger, movements are appropriate.

Merlin’s eyes welled up as Dr. Dewey drew out the needle from his arm. Eggsy knew it wasn’t pain. Instinctively, Eggsy moved his hand to Merlin’s shoulder and caressed the sensitive patch of soft skin with his knuckles. He looked away from the exam table for a moment, when the urge to kiss Merlin’s shoulder felt almost too strong to resist, and caught Dr. Holland’s eye.

The doctor gave a near imperceptible jut of chin, which Eggsy could only interpret as her encouraging him to do something.

Eggsy licked his lips in thought and Dr. Holland’s chin jerked again.

Dr. Holland sighed as she reviewed her notes. “The measurements I’m getting are more consistent with a younger gestation.”

Eggsy stared at her blankly but the rumble in his chest spoke volumes of his unease.

“By 20 weeks I’d expect a crown to rump length of around 16cm, but your baby is half that. Length of long bones and mass for your child are more consistent with 14.” 

When she received no response from the pair, Dr. Holland lifted the ultrasound wand again. “I’m going to continue the anatomy scan, focusing on the heart for awhile. This is routine, it just takes a little longer than the ultrasounds you may have seen on TV.”

Merlin watched his baby move on screen, struggling to draw comfort from the too tiny kicks that had at first brought him such joy.

Eggsy passed his fingers over Merlin’s wet cheek and bent again to kiss his forehead. “They’re beautiful.” Instead of pulling himself straight, Eggsy ducked lower. 

Merlin’s scent was thick with anxiety as he stared at the monitor. His gaze was as steady as if he were guiding a mission. 

Eggsy nosed behind his ear and reminded him that they would do everything they could to keep the baby healthy. Then, he gave into his gut and pressed his lips against Merlin’s shoulder. 

Worry fell from Merlin like a warm sheet in morning and left him raw to the cold of Eggsy’s mouth on his scent gland. Within him, the baby seemed to leap.

Dr. Holland smiled at the picture and at the men, even though it meant needing to start her last measurement over.

Merlin took Eggsy’s hand and held it close to his face, so his cheek rubbed against their hands as he spoke. “I thank ye,” he said, and Eggsy knew it was _Merlin_ speaking for himself. “I thank ye for everything, for being here now.”

Eggsy brought himself to his knee, to Merlin’s eye level, and rubbed his thumb against the vein that throbbed from Merlin’s eyebrow to ear. “I’m not going anywhere.” He laid a kiss on Merlin’s temple, firmly, as if to emphasize his sincerity.

“I’d like you to see you again in 2 weeks time,” Dr Holland advised. “Once you’re in the third trimester weekly visits may become more appropriate.”

Eggsy and Merlin shared a long look and a deep breath. With Kingsman demanding attention, and the new need of shuttling back and forth to Kendal, the coming months would pose challenges neither of them thought they’d ever face. 

“We’ll have it sorted by then,” Eggsy told the room, assurring Merlin as well as the doctor. “Let’s get ya home, Mur. You can take a look at your calendar and give ‘em a call tonight, yeah?”

As they were saying their goodbyes and thank yous to Dr Holland, Dewey returned scowling at his paperwork. 

“Elliot, can ye tell me what drug ye were taking?”

“Me?” Eggsy drew himself up to a wide stance. “I don’t take drugs.” He could feel everyone’s eyes on him. “Swear down.”

Dr Dewey held up a pair of charts as if they were evidence and spread them on the now vacant exam bed. “Murdock’s urinalysis - showed a very similar compound to what we found in yours. There are many factors to consider, of course… The lab is still trying to make sense of _your_ bloodwork, Elliot.”

“We don’t do drugs.” Eggsy’s voice was sharp. “Murdock would never do anything to hurt our child.”

The doctor ignored him. “Was it to help your fertility?”

Eggsy couldn’t help but snarl. “You’re walkin’ a fine line.”

Dr. Dewey was unimpressed. Crossing his arms over his chest and standing side by side with his daughter, he huffed. “I’m your doctor. We’ll treat you both under our care because it’s what we do and you’ll need it. But make no mistake, your medical _history_ effects your current medical _treatment_. I think getting to the bottom of these test results is an important factor.”

This was the fifth case in as many days that the office had seen the mystery compound in patient urine and blood.

Merlin folded his strip of ultrasound pictures and slid them into his pocket. His expression gave away nothing.

The doctor pressed on. “Is it safe to assume you’ve stopped-- Neither of you are taking anything other than what is explicitly listed in your charts, correct?”

Merlin gave a curt nod as Eggsy grunted his affirmation. 

“Then there’s another matter we need to discuss.”

Eggsy and Merlin exchanged a sideways glance and a chill filled the room.

“Are either of you familiar with the risks associated with synchronized rut and heat during pregnancy?”


	13. Chapter 13

****~**~****

The drive back to the cottage was tense.

Not taking his eyes off the road, Eggsy apologized again. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It’s been a long time. My cycle’s were unpredictable before suppressant and- I- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, lad. Dewey isn’t sure if you set me off or if I did this to you.”

“No. Fuck that. Sean, it’s… You’re… I didn’t know. I didn’t realize. And how are we - you - to handle this? Your alpha’s… not here.”

_My alpha._ As a cramp tensed his core, Merlin steeled his expression with a measured breath. “Doctor said a bonded pair would be just as capable of safely getting through.”

“Yeah, but he meant-” Actually, Eggsy wasn’t sure what Dr. Dewey meant. They could pretend all they wanted for Elliot and Murdock, but that wasn’t real. It couldn’t fool biology.

Merlin’s voice nearly broke. “I don’t want to lose this child.”

Eggsy exhaled in a rush. “I don’t want that.” He squeezed Merlin’s knee and briefly caught his mournful, terrified eyes. “You have to know, I don’t. Perhaps one of the agents - or staff. Who’ve you known longest? Who are ya closest to?”

Merlin steadied himself so his sigh was imperceptible. His gaze fell on Eggsy in disbelief. “You’re the only one who knows. The only one close enough I’d even consider. Of course, I’ll understand if ye _can’t_. If ye don’t think ye could…”

Eggsy’s eyebrows shot up at the insinuation. “Get it up? Are you mad? Of course I _could_. In my first stages of rut, remember?”

“Aye.” The words were tight in his jaw. “Rut.”

“You’re proper fit, gov. It's not that.” 

Merlin’s face fell. He turned to the window to hide it. “I know it’s too much to ask. All of it. It’s been a long time since cycle for me, as well. I’m not prepared for any of this.” 

Merlin cringed at the memory of heat: the torturous fever and cramping that had him blacking out in pain. “I’ve managed alone before. But if you’d consider…” Merlin chuckled at his misfortune. “Christ. Ne’er thought I’d be begging an alpha in rut for a fuck.”

Eggsy’s eyes stung. He squinted to keep the road in focus. If he were to do this, it wouldn’t be ‘a fuck’.

At Eggsy’s grumbled reaction, Merlin’s eyes went wide. “Wouldn’t be ‘ just fucking’ for me either.”

The comment stole Eggsy’s breath. Had he admitted that out loud himself? He must have. 

Eggsy noticed his hand hadn’t moved from Merlin’s knee. Without conscious thought behind their movements or position, his fingers were kneading the joint and the muscle of Merlin’s thigh. 

He took his hand back and Merlin let him. Eggsy’s two-handed grip on the steering wheel threatened to rip the leather seams and deform the metal structure beneath. 

For the remainder of the ride through the country, both Merlin and Eggsy were silent.

****~**~****

The squeak of Eggsy’s trainers on the hardwood had Merlin drew his attention from his computer. “Running again?” he asked, then looked down at his screen.

The zip of Eggsy’s tracksuit was as distracting as the man’s approach to the couch where Merlin sat. Merlin refused to look up until Eggsy’s curled finger lifted his chin. 

“Not from you,” Eggsy said in gentle tones. 

Merlin looked away and Eggsy’s shoulders slumped as he stepped back. 

“I won’t be long.”

Merlin bit back his scoff ineffectually.

“An hour.”

Through clenched teeth, Merlin grumbled, “Whatever you need, little alpha.”

Eggsy flinched and his throat released a choked sound. He bit his tongue to keep from retaliating, to keep from giving in to the burning desire to defend himself. 

_Fear,_ Eggsy told himself. Merlin was speaking out in fear. 

Even so, the words stung: the familiar promise he'd made so many times, the diminutive way he was addressed.

 

The run wasn't just some bullshit excuse to get out of the house. If Merlin knew the way energy buzzed under his skin, if he could feel the static in everything he touched, Eggsy knew he'd understand. 

But, of course, Merlin couldn't see, couldn't know what this was like. There was a reason Merlin couldn't 'get it’. Whenever he was around, whenever Eggsy reached for him, the buzzing stilled, the static was gone. 

His brain screamed that it was all wrong for romance. _Sparks fly when you meet your mate, don't they? Fireworks at the first kiss?_ It wasn’t supposed to disappear.

 

Eggsy expelled a long breath as he reached the porch, soaked in sweat and trembling with exertion. The hills and valleys, high grass and rocky fields had strained his muscles in ways training at the Kingsman Estate could never manage. Panting in the brisk air, trying to catch his breath, Eggsy steeled himself before going inside.

_Alpha and Omega,_ he thought, closing his eyes. _Made for each other, once upon a time._ But surely that didn’t mean he and Merlin were destined to be together purely by design. 

Eggsy turned the knob to the kitchen, pushing the door open and the thought from his head. No, biology - gender - wasn’t the whole of his attraction. Merlin’s mind, his heart, had drawn him in first. Hadn’t it?

Eggsy’s fingers pressed hard over his eyelids as he walked through the hall to his room. _A shower,_ he said to himself, perhaps aloud. _That’s good place as any to start._

****~**~****

Merlin sat up in bed, working through Kingsman files. Missing information, false information, blank sections stared at him from the screen. It seemed pointless. He wondered what use filling it in from memory served the agency.

Anything dated past ten years had been deemed too outdated in technology and intel to be bothered with. The move may have been smart or ignorant. But Kingsman was quickly running low on staff and infighting was getting worse.

Barely any of the paperwork he had left with his agents had been touched. He knew things that meant distraction, chaos, bad news being kept from him for reasons he could only imagine. This wasn’t the way he had been treated as Merlin - kept out of the loop. This wasn’t the way they had regarded any Arthur that came before.

When Eggsy knocked on the doorframe of his room, Merlin waved him in without looking up. He was deep in work-mode, barely recognised the pillow propped behind his back or the mattress under him. It was only when his computer jostled by the a wave of movement that he turned his attention.

Smelling of soap and the alpha musk that had grown perceptively stronger since morning, Eggsy had joined him atop the blankets without a word.

“Hullo,” Merlin said in quiet caution.

Eggsy responded with a gentle, “Hey,” and propped his own laptop on his knees. 

They clicked and typed and uttered sighs of unending frustration until their necks ached and eyes were dry. 

“Is this a waste of time?” Merlin grumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses to his forehead in the process.

Eggsy saw the worry and exhaustion in the dark circles under Merlin’s eyes, in the wrinkles at their corners. “I dunno,” he said honestly.

Despite the defeat dragging his head to his shoulder, Merlin closed his computer carefully and set it in its cushioned bag for safekeeping. Eggsy wasn’t quite so gentle; but he wasn’t going to struggle through that futile mess if even their Arthur was willing to break for the night.

Merlin stood to lift the sheets on his side and crawled into bed. Eggsy went to the door and flipped off the lights. 

Lying in the dark, Merlin waited for the inevitable, “Goodnight.” For Eggsy to walk back to his room, taking the space he said he didn’t need yet continued to put between them. 

“Sean?” Eggsy asked from across the room, the question so delicate it caused Merlin’s breath to catch in his throat. “Would it be all right if-”

Not turning from his position, Merlin folded back the comforter from the opposite end of the bed in invitation.

****~**~****

“Cannae say I won’t miss ye til ye lads come back” Bethany’s hands shook as she poured herself another dram of sherry.

“Won’t be long, mam,” Eggsy assured her, feeling the chill of pre-rut creeping into his bones. The full moon would rise eventually. He had time. But Merlin’s heat would come quicker; at least, according to Dr Holland’s prediction.

Bethany nodded, looking distracted, and brought her drink it to the living room. Ever since she’d walked into their home, it seemed her mind was somewhere else.

The sparsely decorated space didn’t draw from her kind criticism about making themselves at home. She was quiet; her wit was tame. She’d worn a small frown throughout the light meal. 

As she settled onto the armchair by the smouldering fire at the hearth, her eyes stared into her small glass of deep purple drink and her expression gave more of the same.

With her raw nail beds and peeling lips, it didn’t take a pair of spies to see the woman had been worrying herself sick over some unnamed concern.

Merlin crossed in front of Eggsy, blocking him from the kitchen exit. “Are ye gonna ask, or should I?”

They stood closer than they dared before. Like at Bethany’s dinner, they tested the boundaries of their comfort with each other and found they stretched further than either had imagined. The ease with which they moved in Bethany’s company was one of the reasons Eggsy had invited her for a farewell luncheon the day before their departure. 

Somehow it was natural for Eggsy to slip into intimacy when others expected it of him. At least, that was the belief Eggsy let himself hold on to at present.

Eggsy took the tea trap from Merlin, enjoying the way warmth sank to his bones as their hands brushed in the exchange.

“Thought she’d be out with it by now.” Eggsy peeked around Merlin to the empty dining hall to be sure they weren’t overheard. “Do ya think she’s heard something? Has suspicions? About us?”

The past year ran through Merlin’s mind. “Anything is possible.”

 

It turned out neither of them needed to say much for Bethany to open up. By the time they poured and distributed fresh cuppas, Bethany was chomping at the bit. 

“Well, what did the doctor say?” Her speech was rushed as she snatched up a pair of ginger biscuits. She snapped one in half before flitting her gaze between the men. “Eh?”

Eggsy observed the way she kept her hands busy to hide the way they shook. “Oh, um, everythin’s fine. Yeah?” He looked to Merlin, allowing him to choose whether or not to elaborate.

“Wee one is healthy. As am I.”

Bethany huffed as though she’d been holding her breath since asking. “Thank Heavens.”

“Is everything all right, mam?”

Bethany shook her head with increasing vigor. “Well,” she popped a piece of iced biscuit into her mouth and munched as she spoke, “me nephew’s friend has an omega daughter fallen ill. Thought it was flu, then pregnancy, then…” Bethany shrugged in the way people did when there was more to say but no words with which to say it.

“How long have they been sick?”

“Was just shy of a month - fevers and vomiting, shift in mood toward delirium - before she... ” Bethany swallowed hard. “Parents found their poor lass catatonic this morning.”

Eggsy gasped. Blinking from Merlin to their guest, he took Bethany’s hands in his own. “Did they figure out what it was?”

“No. No.” Bethany bowed her head in dismay. She ate another cookie. “No one seems to know anything.”

Making sad eyes at Merlin was a poor attempt at asking for Kingsman assistance in this situation, but Eggsy felt like he had to try.

****~**~****

Shutting the door behind Bethany, Eggsy swore. “If Medical were worth half their salt-”

“We cannae trust them. Not yet.” Merlin drew Eggsy into a hug as the alpha seethed. “This is nae our fight.”

“Don’t feel right, though. Fourteen year old goes from delirius _mystery_ flu to catatonic in a month? And no one knows anything?” Eggsy turned his face into Merlin’s chest and let out a grunt of exasperation. 

The anger in him gave off a heavy musk, his frustration in feeling unable to help those in need was broadcast in the scent. It hit Merlin harder than he cared to admit. 

When Eggsy grunted again, this time grabbing Merlin’s shirt by the handfuls and pulling himself closer, Merlin took a step back.

“Ye should shower, lad,” he said, his voice thick with desires he had no freedom with which to dwell upon. 

Eggsy lifted his arm to smell himself crudely and shrugged. “Am I that bad? Don’t even notice anymore what with-” It went unspoken that Merlin’s scents of preheat pheromone were just as potent as Eggsy. “Do ya think Bethany noticed?”

Eggsy was already drawing closer to Merlin again.

Merlin licked his lips as Eggsy entered his space and didn’t think twice about running his fingers through the hair that followed the curve of his ear. “She was too distracted, worried about her own family, to care what was happening between lovers behind closed doors.”

“That what I am, then? Your lover?” Eggsy cocked his eyebrow and rocked his hips against Merlin’s in a tease. His hands slid up Merlin’s sides and, as if drawn by magnets, found the swell of his womb. “Bet that’s what ya call all your alphas.” 

Merlin let out a high whine as the phrase of rejection pierced his core. The pain wasn’t strong as the reaction implied, but the sudden shock of it had Merlin pushing Eggsy’s hands from his abdomen to replace them with his own.

Eggsy jumped back with his eyes wide and a drunken sailor’s apology on his lips. “Shite, bloody fucking hell. Merlin, Arthur, Sean. I… Fuck. What just happened?” He had felt the tension in Merlin’s belly, in his own; Eggsy had heard that inner voice screaming indiscernible sounds that left him feeling like a liar and a coward. 

Dragging a hand down his face and dropping his eyes to the floor, Eggsy took practiced breaths to gain some composure - and to draw blood back to his brain. 

He could hear Merlin’s strained huffs, coming in and out through his nose.

When Eggsy had achieved a modicum of calm, he faced Merlin with sincere apology. “Are you all right?”

Merlin looked back at him with an unreadable expression. One hand still clutched his middle. The other lay over the center of his chest. “I’m fine.”

“Should I call the doctor?”

“Nae. I’m fine.” The room buzzed with the suspense of latent conflict until Merlin spoke again. “This relationship needs a rule.”

“Relationship?” The word caught in Eggsy’s throat coming through an octave higher than he’d planned. He tried to cover for the rise in anxiety, in hope, with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Merlin sighed, “Situation,” then, he corrected himself. “Nae, relationship. That’s what this is. Coworkers, friends, lovers, mates, bonded pair… they’re all relationships, Eggsy. So perhaps we need two rules, eh?”

Eggsy sobered. “Like, what kind of rules? Cause we ain’t so good at following them, far as I could see with what I laid out for Murdock and Elliot.”

Merlin ignored him and went on with his own train of thought. “First, no lies. Not between us.”

“I don’t-” 

“Ye forget who I am? My life’s work?”

“No, sir.” Eggsy held Merlin’s gaze but the submission that came easily in Kingsman training was now something toward which he had to put conscious effort.

“No lies.”

Eggsy nodded. 

“Second, ye cannae keep bringing up-” _James. Lancelot._

“Your alph-” the word stuck, and it was just as well for Merlin had cut in as well.

The hand on Merlin’s chest curled into a fist. “Don’t,” he growled through clenched teeth.

Eggsy noticed Merlin’s face twist in something like physical pain. It wasn’t an expression he’d ever seen on the man before. “What happened?” Eggsy’s heart was quickly frosted over by his worry; it was nearly palpable.

With a hand rubbing low across his abdomen, Merlin met Eggsy’s eyes. Merlin broadcast his fears, his sincerity, and his attraction in his scent. “You,” he began fiercely before losing his nerve. “When ye call him that, it…”

“No lies, innit?” Eggsy prompted Merlin to continue.

“It hurts.” Merlin knew he should elaborate. His mind sought words to help Eggsy understand what Merlin had already come to realize about them. “You,” he started again and found it too hard to go on.

Eggsy mouthed an “I’m sorry” as he laid his hand over Merlin’s. They felt the baby move and offered each other the barest of smiles.

“You are our Alpha, Eggsy,” Merlin said haltingly. Eggsy’s hand flinched over his before sliding toward Merlin’s hip, finding a spot of baby movement without guidance. “When ye refer to anyone else as such, feels like a rejection. I’m not sure the bairn can-” 

The suppressants, the coming heat, the baby’s size; it was all too much to factor in, and everything felt like guesswork. 

“I get that… Hurts when I say it. Think it.” Eggsy looked up from Merlin’s abdomen and gave a little shrug. “Know it’s not the same. Can’t feel the little bug or nothin’, but…” He could still feel a ghost of the tug and twist at his core, like a rope anchored within his center trying to be ripped out each time he reminded himself Merlin and the baby weren’t his. 

Eggsy’s eyes closed as he seemed to fall into deep thought. Merlin moved his hand out of the way so Eggsy’s own were free to roam his belly and he watched curiously. The fabric of Merlin’s jumper whispered under Eggsy’s hands as they moved in smooth circles. There was a steady rhythm to it, a gentle pressure almost like a massage.

They stood at the kitchen door a long time, Eggsy’s hands on Merlin’s stomach and Merlin’s eyes on his ministrations. When Merlin’s lower back began to ache from standing in one place, Eggsy stretched his arms around his waist to dig his fingers into the muscles there as well.

Merlin let his head loll forward onto Eggsy’s shoulder and breathed him in. “What are ye thinking right in this moment?”

“No lies?” Eggsy asked, nosing the crook of Merlin’s neck. He felt Merlin’s nod, then gave him a firm embrace before putting some distance between them. “I’d like a lie down.” Without Merlin pressed against him, he could only just keep himself from shivering. 

“I’m getting colder,” Eggsy explained, keeping the promise of honestly. In trying for full disclosure, he elaborated, “I’d like if ya join me.”

“It’s not yet half past 5,” Merlin noted with a dash of amusement mixed into his concern.

“Yeah it’s… sorry, that was stupid.”

“Nae. Asking for what ye need is never _stupid_.” Merlin had a plan; he thought it was a good one. “Bath helps?”

“Mhm.” Eggsy held back his frown, knowing it wasn’t the same. Merlin had been so warm.

“I’ll put on a broth while ye have a soak. Meet ye in… my bed? If that’s what ye prefer.”

_Did no lies mean to speak one’s mind as often as possible?_ Eggsy gave a nod. “Your scent helps, too,” he admitted. 

Merlin came into Eggsy’s space slowly, brought his hand to the nape of his neck and pulled him in cautiously so his next move was clear. Eggsy had time enough to decide. Merlin pressed his lips to Eggsy’s forehead and drew his palm down Eggsy’s shoulder in a caress. “Ok, then, little alpha. I’ll be with you soon.”

****~**~****


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy and Merlin meet up with the Kingsman  
> Netflix and Chill is as good as it gets?  
> Smut

****~**~****

Merlin stood at the open window in his office taking deep breaths of cool air. The meeting room had been stifling. Tensions were high even as the agents assured him their support as an omega, as Arthur. 

During their drive from Dumfries to London, Kelsey had updated Eggsy and Merlin with what to expect upon their return. But nothing could have prepared Merlin for the reality of what his agency had been reduced. 

_At least,_ he thought, grimacing through the ache of a passing cramp, _the agents remained._ He didn’t think to ask himself, _for how long?_ Such questions were beyond his reasoning as his physiology hurtled itself into heat. 

Merlin felt the presence of Eggsy moving near. “That could have gone better,” he said of their debrief with the agents and staff who had greeted them at the Estate. 

They had reported failure securing the medical wing; the labs and files had been destroyed in the standoff. Upon recognizing Merlin’s condition and the secrets he'd hidden, apologies were swallowed, so Merlin and Eggsy gave none in return. No one apologised for being who they were or for doing their level best (and coming up short). 

“Could have gone worse. A lot worse.” They shared the windowsill, but kept space between them. To an observer, it would appear a platonic conversation between the colluding spies. 

For Eggsy, it was a test of fortitude not to pull Merlin into his arms and offer himself as refuge. “The way they looked at you, gov...” he recalled in a whisper.

Merlin took another breath. The air cleansed his nerves this time, with Eggsy’s cool scent present on the breeze. “The room stilled when we walked in.” 

Eggsy confirmed his observation with a hum. 

“A few of them are due for the serum. Their blockers are wearing off.”

The corner of Eggsy’s mouth turned down. He drew out his phone to send off a quick request to a trusted agent as he mumbled, “But no mutiny.”

Merlin’s glare was a pathetic attempt. Another flash of heat burned his core. His eyes watered.

Guilt for bringing up the reminder of their recent past had Eggsy scrambling to send off his request and pocket his phone. “Yeah, guess we already had a few of those.”

“We have no hospital staff,” Merlin hissed. His fingers dug into the tight muscles of his lower back. “No records. No meds of any kind.”

Eggsy would have pat himself on the back if his hands weren’t itching to soothe Merlin. Under the instructions of his message just sent, Bedivere and Bors should bring in the basics by evening. “We’ll manage. What we do, innit? As Kingsman.” 

Merlin wavered. “This is… this isn't Kingsman.”

Eggsy stared out at the private grounds of the Estate. He knew the layout by heart. From the outside, Kingsman looked the same as he’d ever known it. But it was a shell. 

“Right,” Eggsy said. “But what is? It's not the field or a building; ain't our tech or a bunch of doctors. Kingsman’s an idea, innit? And the people who fight for it?”

A deep voice sounded from behind. “Have to agree with Galahad there, sir.” They turned to see Bedeviere stood in the doorway with a clipboard and a frown. “And I’m here to fight.”

****~**~****

Eggsy strode into the meeting room flanked by Bedivere and Bors, then leaned imposingly over the table. His assertiveness was brazen. Without hesitation or deference to Arthur’s position, Eggsy fixed a sharp eye on each of the persons seated.

“Before we do anything more, every one of you needs to be on the best blocker Kingsman money can buy. We can't have anyone distracted by Arthur's situation.” Eggsy nodded to Bors who distributed the pill bottles he’d dutifully retrieved from the city pharmacy. “Do we have an understanding?”

There was a creak of leather as staff members and a few agents shifted in their chairs, trying to make themselves smaller. But no arguments were made. 

Bedeviere broke the seal of his bottle and immediately took a pill. He looked around the room as the others followed suit.

When that business had been settled, Eggsy straightened himself up, rolled his shoulders, and tension in the air wasn’t quite so palpable. He took the Galahad chair at Arthur’s right.

Lancelot handed Eggsy a legal pad and pen, the standard tools of those seated around the table, and looked to Arthur for the meeting to officially begin.

 

What was left of Kingsman proper remained for hours, staring at dead ends. The day dragged, long and tedious as they worked through the evening meal. 

Merlin had never seen such an informal gathering of his knights and staff. It was disturbing and disheartening. It would have been more so if so much of his energy wasn't focused on keeping an even expression through his increasing discomfort.

In spite of it all, there was something about the table of Chinese take out, disposable utensils in the hands of his loyal friends, and Eggsy's stalwart presence at his side, that gifted Merlin with a strange seed of hope. As deep and displaced as it may have been, when he looked for it, hope was there.

“The plan was always to rebuild, wasn’t it, Arthur?” Lamorak was saying as he leaned back, pushing his chair onto two legs. “We start further down is all. Dig a foundation instead of laying stone.”

“Jesus Christ.” Bors drabbed a napkin at the corners of his mouth and permitted himself a laugh. “None of us have the experience to-”

“Neither did the first of us,” Lancelot interrupted. Her voice was firm, though she spoke with a mouthful of mu shu pork.

Bors’s chuckling ceased but his smirk remained. “No one else finds humor in this?” He presented the room with a sweep of his arm. “If the others could see us. Russell would have strung Lam up by his bollocks for even thinking of propping his feet on an empty chair.”

For all his bulk, Lamorak sheepishly pulled his legs from their resting place. 

“Harry would have long since walked out,” Bedeviere joined his partner’s musings. 

Even Kay spoke fondly of their late brothers in arms. “Michael’d have climbed walls for highest vantage, then sit his roost until one of us talked him down.” 

“And James…” Bors stopped when his eyes fell on Merlin. He looked away and forced another smile. “Can you just picture it?”

Some of those that knew their fallen agents cracked smiles of their own. Some sniffed and averted their eyes. 

 

When the scribble of pen on paper had slowed, and side conversations drifted to yawns, Gareth cleared his throat. “We may not have experience building something from nothing, but we do have something our founders didn’t.”

“Oh?” Bedeviere and others raised their heads in interest at the claim.

Gareth sat straighter. He was younger than about half the agents remaining, with experience to match. If he read the room wrong, he’d be a laughing stock for sure. 

But maybe, with Bors having earlier opened the door to a lighter way of thought, such a thing wasn’t out of place. “Bond, for starters. Jack Bauer’s another. Jason Bourne. And what are there 4 or 5 Mission Impossible films?”

“Austin Powers,” Kelsey interjected unironically. The room had been quiet up until her remark. 

At the sound of snickering, the new Merlin narrowed her eyes. “What?” With passion, she stood her ground. “He was outrageous. Fun. We used to be, not so long ago.”

“I hardly think Netflix and Chill is appropriate,” Kay groused as he mulled over his notes and doodles. Even as he shot down the idea, he couldn't think of an alternative. 

Merlin took a steadying breath. “Is this really the best plan we can come up with?”

“Maybe a movie marathon isn’t the worst right now,” Bedeviere acquiesced noticing the color rising up Merlin's neck to his cheeks. “It’ll give us fresh eyes, time to train without the tech and intel we’re used to as that gets rebuilt, time to find candidates and train the new agents.”

The senior agent nudged Kay and Bors with his steel-tipped toes to their shins. They'd worked with Merlin the longest, respected him despite differing opinions, were loyal to the end.

Kay looked up from his idle hands and gave a grunt of support. “It’ll give you time to, uh…” he gestured to Merlin's new curves as his grumbling trailed off.

Pulling her pen from behind her ear, Kelsey spoke up. “Arthur and I can continue as planned. Gather a team to infiltrate MI:6 and whomever they’ve got a hardon for these days. Steal some of their protocols for us to build upon. And honestly, it’s a desk job can be done from just about anywhere.”

“Good. Better.” Merlin expressed his thanks within his praise before swallowing a gasp. He took Eggsy’s hand beneath the table and squeezed. 

He’d demonatrated impressive control though his body was under duress. But there was only so much Merlin could take before his biology made it impossible for him to hide the symptoms of his heat. The flushed skin and thin sheen of sweat on his brow were only the beginning. 

Oblivious to, or ignoring, Merlin’s condition, Kelsey turned to her friends from staff and then the agents. “I’m still watching Austin Powers in my stateroom tonight, if anyone’s up for it.”

Merlin closed his eyes against a wave of searing heat and felt Eggsy’s second hand cover his. The touch that used to bring comfort, startlingly raised his core temperature until his eyes stung with fever. 

Merlin spoke no argument as several agents struck up conversations over which films were best for their start. The pain in his abdomen and burn in his veins were too distracting to follow the conversations around him.

Eggsy signaled their exit to Bedeviere and Bors, the later of whom would take charge of the Estate while Arthur was indisposed. 

“Arthur and I will continue our work from a safe house,” Eggsy informed their end of the table quietly.

With a narrow stare, Kay pushed for clarification. “Which one?”

“Undisclosed. You understand.” Eggsy's blue eyes looked cold as frost on glass. “You’ll assist Bors with Kingsman here. Send regular reports to Arthur.”

Blinking, Kay sat back and gave a short nod. He found himself agreeing to the young Galahad's commands as if they'd come from an Arthur themself.

“Let’s go,” Eggsy said at Merlin’s ear before taking his elbow to stand. 

It wasn’t a request. 

Merlin supposed he would be right to put Eggsy in his place. As Galahad speaking to Arthur - _for_ Arthur to his Kingsman - Merlin shouldn’t have gotten the thrill that echoed through him as he was ordered around. 

Even in something as mundane as this - being told it was time to make the exit he so desperately needed - Merlin keened. The color in his cheeks darkened as he thought about what else he would let Eggsy order him do.

Trying not to be obvious about his discomfort or sudden arousal, Merlin moved briskly out of the room. Bedivere and Eggsy were only a step behind.

“Be mindful of your time,” Eggsy heard Bors demand of the agents and staff. “Anyone found taking advantage of Arthur’s absence, demonstrating lack of commitment to Kingsman, will be removed from their station without hesitation.”

“So film-based research…” Lamorak asked carefully.

Bors wasn’t about to give up on the opportunity to mix a bit of R&R with what had become a never-ending series of paperwork. “Well, yes, we’ll move forward with the Bond movie marathon. To be thorough.” 

Kay's rumble followed a beat later. “Take notes.”

For propriety's sake, what enthusiasm was shared among the Kingsman didn’t extend past small smiles.

****~**~****

“I need to get us out of here,” Eggsy said as soon as he and Merlin were alone in Arthur’s office. He moved in close, knowing they had little time to spare before Bedivere’s return from the hangar.

Eggsy wiped at sweat trickling down the base of Merlin’s skull. 

Merlin tipped his head into the curve of Eggsy’s palm with a low, pleased sound. Eggsy's skin against his felt incredible. The hand on Merlin’s neck took the edge off of the pain as he gasped through a cramp. But it was a toss up; every other touch set his fueled the fire inside of him. Both sensations, the cool relief and the scorching desire, brought Merlin’s mind to the same end leaving him in agony. 

Kingsman training was all that kept him from dragging Eggsy to the floor and begging him for relief.

Merlin clutched Eggsy’s arms through another cramp, a constriction of muscle like a band from his pelvis around his back. The pressure had been constant for hours; the sharp pains came sporadically, without pattern or warning. 

Merlin's knees buckled as he huffed through another close behind the previous.

“That can't be good for the baby.” Eggsy didn’t hide his concern as he waited for Merlin to bear his own weight again. 

Leaning into Eggsy's supportive stance, Merlin’s breath came quickly; he turned his face to Eggsy’s neck. “Would that we could stay like this forever,” he sighed even as he squirmed in growing temptation.

“If Bedivere would hurry up with that plane, could offer more comfort than this.” Eggsy moved his second hand under Merlin's shirt to rest upon his bare abdomen. 

Merlin straightened up in the embrace, looking into Eggsy’s eyes. He blinked as black sparks edged his eyesight and saw none of the affection shining for him. 

“It’s gonna be OK, yeah?” Eggsy coaxed Merlin closer to breathe at his neck where his scent was most potent. As Merlin nuzzled his skin and groaned at his pulse point, Eggsy second guessed what he'd done. He wasn't sure if the proximity was helping or making things worse.

A knock on the door and Bedivere's company had Eggsy stepping in front of Merlin like a shield. 

“Jet needs fuel,” the senior agent informed. He noticed Eggsy’s behavior, but made no comment other than to say, “Perhaps it’s best we move Arthur to his private quarters aboard the aircraft... before the situation progresses.”

****~**~****

As if given permission, by the promise of a private room and an Alpha’s company, Merlin’s condition deteriorated rapidly. By the time they made it to the hangar and boarded the aircraft, he could no longer speak through his cramps.

Eggsy called ahead with a request Bedeviere steer clear of the cabin and stateroom until further notice. 

The pilot put up no argument to staying at the cockpit; he'd seen the two of them. The blocker's effectiveness was not in question. It did its job turning off the neuroreceptors that would otherwise alert the hindbrain of an omega in heat. Merlin's distress was obvious, as was Eggsy's vested concern.

To the Alpha, Merlin smelled of slick and want. It was enough that Eggsy had a hard time refraining from licking his lips as he followed Merlin up the stairs onto the plane.

If either were of the mind to, they would have appreciated Chester King had been a man who liked his luxuries. The stateroom was a sound-proofed master suite with a large bed, shower room, and toilet within. 

Merlin pressed his hand against the screen of glass to unlock the door and let out a high whine when the screen remained dark. He tried again in vain, then unhinged the small keyboard to try a manual override. But the security system was unresponsive.

“Bollocks.” Eggsy swore as Merlin curled in on himself through another wave. With a tap to the edge of his glasses, Eggsy clued Bedivere in.

“We know, Galahad. Security is down. Nav systems are rudimentary, but it won’t be a problem. I can get you where you need to go with the instruments. I don’t need any fancy gadgets to fly.”

“Cheers. Get us in the air fast as you can, yeah?” At Eggsy’s side, Merlin hid his face in his hands and hissed.

“Be about an hour still. I’ve got Kay fueling us up while I run through my checklist. We’ll get you there.”

Galahad tucked his glasses away and helped Merlin to his feet. 

“Blasted thing won’t-”

With a swift kick, Eggsy’s foot broke through the glass. “Can ya hotwire the damn thing?”

“Erm, no. That’s nae how computers work.”

Much to Merlin’s surprise, however, the door slid into the wall, granting the pair entry.

Eggsy’s chest puffed haughtily; his masculinity and confidence saturated the air like to much perfume and drew a moan from Merlin’s lips as he passed.

“Trust you’re in?” The question came from a speaker near the open door. 

Merlin continued further into the room, taking stock of the bed and amenities, but couldn’t bring himself far from Eggsy’s side.

“We’re in,” Eggsy said at the intercom. 

“Safe flight, then,” Bedivere responded.

“Safe flight.”

As soon as the agents had signed off, Merlin all but crowded Eggsy against the wall. He rubbed at his own belly and whimpered wordlessly. Half-apologising half-pleading, he ducked his face into Eggsy’s shoulder.

Eggsy held Merlin in place with one arm as he pulled the door closed with his other. “It’s OK.” 

Against his neck, Merlin’s head turned side to side in embarrassment. 

“Sean,” Eggsy admonished, urging his friend to lift his head. “Whatever you need. It’s OK. Whatever you need,” Eggsy paused as Merlin’s hazel eyes affixed to his, “I’m yours.”

Merlin surged up, crushing their mouths together. Eggsy stumbled under the force of Merlin’s kiss until he was pinned. 

Merlin had his hands in Eggsy’s hair, tugging him in and pushing him back, but once the scorching heat had been cooled by the touch of Eggsy’s tongue, Merlin pulled away. “How do ye want to do this?” he asked, breathless. The memory of Eggsy in charge sent a thrill down his spine to where it throbbed between his legs.

Eggsy stared, his vision blurred with lust then focused on the object of his desire. Taking the steam of Merlin’s breath into his lungs, he shuddered at the fantasy of what it would feel like to be truly warm. “We can do whatever ya like.”

Single-minded, Merlin backed away from Eggsy and unhooked his belt. His backed up until his calves bumped the edge of the bed. His trousers and pants were around his ankles before he remembered there was such a thing as shoes.

If Eggsy wasn’t a hair’s breadth from palming the growing erection in his pants, he would have laughed. Eggsy went to Merlin and sank gracefully to his knees to help. 

The air of the stateroom was filling with soaked omega scent quickly, but there, at Merlin’s feet, it was so thick Eggsy could almost taste it. He wanted to taste it.

“You smell so fucking good.” Eggsy smoothed his hands up Merlin’s exposed shins, over the knock of his knees, and the strength of his thighs. 

Merlin inhaled sharply through his nose as lubrication leaked from him. He felt the chill of Eggsy’s palms as they glided around to his backside. Unconsciously, his hips canted forward; his cock came to attention at Eggsy’s mouth.

“We can do this you standin’ or sittin’, gov.” Eggsy made sure to graze the head of Merlin’s cock with his lips as he spoke.

“On the bed,” was all the answer Merlin could give. _Anything Eggsy wanted would be best on the bed… probably._

 

Merlin swam an ocean of heat and desire, relief and pleasure. He threw his head back and released a feral groan; the rough ache in his throat informed him it wasn’t the first.

Eggsy sucked at the tender flesh where Merlin’s thigh met his pelvis and his hand cradled Merlin’s balls with reverent care. 

Time had passed; Merlin had lost it in his desperation. He wasn't sure how long Eggsy had been lying there between his knees. “Ye dinnae need to…”

Eggsy continued to roll Merlin’s balls in his palm. He laved at them before responding. “Does it feel good?”

“Erm.. yes, it's…” Merlin rolled his eyes. _What kind of question was-_ “Mmm, yes, that's quite good.” 

“And this?” Eggsy’s short question was followed by the quick work he made to take Merlin’s fevered cock into his cool mouth at once.

“Mhmm.” Merlin panted as Eggsy swallowed around his member. “God, yes.” 

Eggsy worked the muscles of his throat as he bobbed.

Merlin’s back arched off the bed as he gasped. “I cannae finish like this. It’s a waste of time.”

A low chuckle from Eggsy’s chest sent vibrations through Merlin as well. “Hell, Sean. So sexy when ya talk like that.” But while Eggsy appreciated the omega sex ed lesson, it didn’t stop him from giving the best blow job he’d ever given.

“Whoa, now.” Merlin’s eyes opened to the ceiling while he fought to catch his breath. “What is that you're doing there?

“What?...” Eggsy mumbled, his mouth full. “This?”

“Christ!” Merlin would swear he saw stars.

Eggsy peered over the small baby bump to see Merlin's eyelids flutter open and confusion creep into his blissed expression.

“Sean?” Eggsy asked, his hands stroking the fine hair of Merlin's inner thighs. “Has no one ever done this for you?”

Merlin's eyebrows came together drawing harsh lines across his face. “Why would they? I told ye, it will nae bring me to orgasm.”

Eggsy sat up on his knees as his hands continued their trails up and down Merlin's legs. “How do you know?”

Merlin glared at him.

“Well, ok, but you _like_ it, yeah? So why wouldn't your alpha-”

“Because he wasn't my bloody fucking _Alpha_. He was a friend. We used each other for a bit of companionship and, once in a while, to get off.” 

Eggsy’s question - innocent, in a tender moment - shouldn’t have been met with such a response. But the omega’s body had reacted to the Alpha’s words with a pain so sharp Merlin found himself snapping at Eggsy before he knew what was happening.

Another cramp hardened Merlin’s abdomen and the baby squirmed against it. 

Eggsy saw Merlin wince and clutch his belly. “What happened?”

Lying naked, in the throes of heat, pregnant, and strung out like a raw nerve, Merlin wasn’t sure how much more exposed he could be. He wanted to kick Eggsy from the bed. He had the strength for it, physically. However, when he looked at Eggsy’s wide eyes of concern and regret, Merlin wanted to turn toward him as well.

“Ye cannae push us away and expect it to come up roses, Eggsy.” Merlin shook his head at Eggsy’s frown. “I'm sorry for asking so much of ye. I am.”

“You’re not asking for anything I’m unwilling to give.” 

When Merlin wouldn’t meet his eye, Eggsy crawled to his side. He held a hand tentatively to Merlin's belly and tried again for Merlin's eyes. “It's jealousy, Sean. And nerves. I swear.” 

Eggsy wet his lips and ran his knuckles down Merlin’s arm to his hand. He laced their fingers together before finding the words to continue. 

“Gov, I look at you and wonder how anyone could rush through all this... The sounds you make.” Eggsy felt Merlin’s heart rate pick up and his own breath hitched. “The heat of you against my skin. The way you taste.”

Merlin’s eyes were guarded, but he didn’t seem to be in control of his scent. Sadness and loneliness tinted the smell of his heat. “Please don't ask about him again. Not until it’s safe. I can explain so much more after their born.”

“Did I hurt them? You?” Eggsy caressed Merlin's belly as he held his gaze. “I'm so sorry I... Feels like my brain never knows when it's right to call you mine.” A shy glance at Merlin's belly made it known Eggsy was referring to both omega and child.

“We're yours, little alpha. If you'll have us.”

Eggsy leaned into Merlin’s kiss, a press of lips much softer than before. Their legs slotted together as they rolled and Eggsy couldn’t stop his groan. They moved against each other, greedily seeking out their own pleasure as they stripped each other of ties and shirts.

Eggsy pulled Merlin against him the moment their chests were bare. His cool body on Merlin was like water on hot coals. The flush of Merlin’s chest paled but, beneath, desire flared.

Merlin tugged at Eggsy’s belt and shoved his trousers as far down as they would go. 

Eggsy held his breath. Kneeling on the mattress, his pants hung about mid-thigh, presenting and bearing the heft of his cock for Merlin’s approval. He waited for Merlin to say something; he braced himself for Merlin’s rejection.

“Eggsy,” Merlin spoke through a dry throat. _Were all Alphas so equipped?_ The question was a passing wonder, as Merlin truly only cared for the man before him. 

Merlin ran his hand over Eggsy’s cock to the base. He felt the ring of muscle that would swell at orgasm, locking them together even as Merlin moved against it. He imagined riding Eggsy, chasing multiple orgasms while the knot kept them joined.

“I can’t, y'know, outside of rut,” Eggsy informed unceremoniously. 

Merlin drew his hand back, blinking at the line of pre-come falling from the slit of Eggsy’s cock. “OK.” He dragged his finger through the cool drops pooling on his abdomen, then he looked up. ”Can’t or won’t?”

“Can't.”

The news came as a surprise; Merlin felt his excitement inch back from the summit. 

“It's... I don't know.” Eggsy sat back on his heels as he tried to explain. “The full moon does something, brings something out in me. Something feral. Without that, I don’t knot.”

“But other alphas-” Even as Merlin’s temperature rose at the impressive sight and musk of his Alpha’s length, disappointment mingled with his arousal.

Eggsy averted his gaze. “I’m not _other alphas_ ,” he muttered.

“I'm sorry,” Eggsy and Merlin voiced their apologies simultaneously.

Merlin stroked the length of Eggsy’s cock, felt it’s delicious responsiveness. He couldn’t help but wonder if their time together would prove Eggsy wrong. If they were truly a bonded pair - or on their way to be - maybe Eggsy's history wouldn't apply.

With a crooked finger, Merlin invited Eggsy to rise again. He dropped a kiss next to Eggsy’s navel as he worked his hand up and down Eggsy’s shaft.

Under Merlin’s ministrations, Eggsy’s dick twitched and swelled. He stretched his lips over the head of it and let hope push his disappointment aside. With hooded eyes and a hum of want, Merlin swirled his tongue.

“Do that again,” Eggsy said, and although he tacked on a “please” Merlin did not confuse that command for a request. 

Wet heat soaked the blankets beneath Merlin as his body reacted to Eggsy’s demands. He eagerly followed orders and soon had Eggsy thrusting into his mouth. 

An energy crackled just below the surface of Eggsy's touch. He was careful about keeping Merlin’s comfort in mind, even as his own breaths became ragged. But the Alpha strength was _there_ \- Merlin was aware - in check or just out of reach.

Merlin held Eggsy’s length to his mouth in a two-handed grip and did whatever Eggsy told him to. When Eggsy said “lick”, Merlin used his tongue to smother the head of Eggsy’s cock with attention. When Eggsy said “suck”, Merlin latched onto Eggsy’s dick and hollowed out his cheeks. And, finally, when Eggsy said “swallow”, Merlin didn’t hesitate to drink every last drop.

Though the taste was a similar salt-bitter-sweet he remembered from past experiences, no other lover had spend that provided relief like this. 

Merlin lied back among the pillows with one hand over his hard-beating heart and the other on his belly. Taking in Eggsy’s orgasm had calmed the twisting contractions in his abdomen and cooled his core in an instant.

“Thank ye.”

Eggsy smirked a bit, understanding but feeling funny about accepting gratitude after being on the receiving end of oral sex. “How do ya feel?”

“Rather well, for now.”

“Get some rest. I’m here when you need me. We can go again whenever. I know you didn’t get off, so I’m not sure what that means in terms of…” Eggsy gestured vaguely.

“All I know,” Merlin mumbled as he turned onto his side, “is I feel like I can think again.”

Eggsy watched affectionately as the man who claimed clarity of thought drifted to sleep. 

 

Eggsy had his knees to his chest, reading about the omega heat cycle on his phone, when a firm knock shot his attention to the door. 

He adjusted the blankets over Merlin's sleeping form and walked toward the door wrapped in a robe. 

“Come in,” he said, just above a whisper, even before he was across the room.

Bedeviere opened the door and reached through, without turning toward the bed. He pointed to the white square above the light switches. “Much like the Merlin’s Control Room,” he informed succinctly, “the red light means the coms are open.”

Eggsy’s jaw dropped open and hung. 

“We’re wheels up in 10. Weather permitting, we should land outside Dumfries in a little over an hour.” Bedeviere pressed the button that turned the light off and closed communication between the stateroom and cockpit.

Eggsy found his voice somewhere at his feet. When he spoke, it sounded as though it had been dragged through a gravel road. “We can’t tell Sean you heard all that.”

Eggsy slipped into the hall, pulling the door mostly shut behind them.

“Keeping secrets from Arthur.” Bedeviere tipped his head to the side and appraised Eggsy before agreeing. “Why do I feel like this won’t be the last?”

It was more reflection than others had demonstrated since Eggsy had been off the suppressants. Eggsy felt it was safest to trust someone who could think for themselves.

The two agents, young and old, sized each other up before a whimper from the stateroom had their heads swiveling on their necks. 

When Eggsy turned back to Bedeviere, it wasn’t to level him with a cold stare. His brow trembled with worry as he pleaded for compassion. “He’s pregnant, mate. Dumb stress is just dumb stress.”

“ _Only_ dumb stress? You knew Kingsman was falling; he didn’t. You kept it from him during his absence.”

Eggsy bit his lips to keep from speaking before he knew how much information he wanted to give. He’d hoped no one but Kelsey had known Eggsy had been screening Merlin’s calls.

“He’d just found out about the baby,” Eggsy began. “Besides, what difference would it have made, other than endangering his chances on being a da?”

Bedeviere gripped Eggsy’s shoulder with the understanding these secrets weren’t his to tell. “Lies are a slope, Galahad,” the senior agent warned. “Best not to slip.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mating Cycle Smut and Feelings  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Feedback is appreciated :D

****~**~****

Merlin reached out in his sleep for Eggsy and curled into his pillow instead. Without the presence of the Alpha, his temperature was rising. The climb was slower. As his body absorbed and dispersed the hormones Eggsy sourced, Merlin would enjoy a brief reprieve. But the absence of Alpha did him no favors.

****~**~****

Snores and an occasional, equally soft, groan of discomfort from Merlin reminded Eggsy of the late hour. Eggsy dimmed the lights of Arthur's stateroom as he entered and set his phone upon the nightstand. He prepared for the night ahead and hoped Merlin would sleep through the flight.

Settled between the sheets, Eggsy felt the return of Merlin’s fever immediately. The omega’s skin radiated heat with more intensity than Eggsy would have guessed possible, even after reading the articles he’d found online. 

Eggsy aligned his chest with the curve of Merlin’s back to draw some of the heat into himself. The warmth reached his core straightaway; the ever-present chill disappeared from his bones.

To hold Merlin closer, Eggsy wrapped an arm around Merlin’s body. His chin came to rest over Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin’s sigh into his embrace sounded like relief and filled Eggsy with the same. 

Whether it was proximity to Alpha or merely depletion of hormones in Merlin’s system, Merlin’s respite between matings didn’t last long. 

Merlin rocked back against Eggsy’s hips even before he had woken. The musk of arousal carried off Merlin’s sleeping form heavy and thick. Wetness coated Eggsy’s cock and stained the sheets as natural lubricant seeped from Merlin’s opening. Not wanting to wake Merlin to embarrassment or waves of cramping and insatiable lust, Eggsy tried to let him sleep.

With gentle pressure, Eggsy kneaded the muscles of Merlin’s lower back. He’d noticed areas Merlin had tried massaging on his own earlier in the day and focused his attentions there. Then, as instinct dictated, Eggsy slid his hand to the hard swell of Merlin’s abdomen and rubbed his hand in a firm line. Back and forth his hand moved as if supporting the weight of the pup growing within. 

Merlin arched his back with a moan and reached behind himself in his sleep. He pulled Eggsy impossibly closer as he pressed back against him. The rolling of Merlin’s hips had he and Eggsy nearly slotted together. 

“Please,” Merlin whimpered, just audible to Eggsy’s keen ears over the whisper of sheets.

Eggsy brought his hand down Merlin’s back in a caress he hoped was soothing enough it wouldn’t startle. “I’m here,” he said at a volume to match.

Merlin turned. 

Eggsy sucked in a breath at the flush of Merlin’s cheeks, the gloss of his eyes. Emotion grew within Eggsy’s chest as he stared into Merlin’s eyes. He thought he saw the same reflected back at him.

“Alpha,” Merlin spoke, like a question and a plea.

Cupping Merlin’s face and drawing him in to press their lips together, Eggsy answered, “I’m yours.”

Merlin wasted no more time in pushing himself to his hands and knees in presentation, in guiding Eggsy to continue as before. In their new position, so close to penetration, mating, and claim, every sensation took to new heights.

Eggsy rubbed his dick through the slippery space between the cheeks of Merlin's ass. Their guttural moans broke through the silence and heightened arousal coursed through their veins.

Rocking back and forth over Merlin’s hole, Eggsy panted in wait. “Tell me when you're sure, and I'll start. But not a moment before.”

Merlin clawed at the sheets and another load of slick gushed from him. 

Wet sounds joined their breathless moans.

Merlin threw his head back as the head of Eggsy's cock paused over his hole. “Do it now,” he gasped.

At the absence of Eggsy's hips pressed against him, Merlin whimpered. But then Eggsy was flipping him onto his back, lifting his hips to expose his ass. Soon there were fingertips exploring its cleft and Merlin no longer felt need to complain.

Merlin writhed; Eggsy had never seen anything as gorgeous. He imagined he never would.

“Fuck.” Eggsy drew out the word as two of his fingers circled Merlin's hole. “You’re tight.” 

Even without looking at the girth of himself now hanging heavily between his thighs, Eggsy wondered how long preparation would take. “When was the last time you worked yourself open?”

“Doesn’t matter.” Merlin reached down to hold his thighs. “Get on with it,” Merlin snapped. His voice carried a frustrated urgency that sparked Eggsy’s worry. 

Eggsy caressed the back of Merlin’s thighs and took the weight of their spread from Merlin. The fever of heat left Merlin under a sheen of sweat and clearly distraught; Eggsy wanted him comfortable, not under more strain. 

Eggsy followed the lines of Merlin’s leg, from where it was newly hooked over his shoulder, down to his groin. 

Merlin was quick to lift his hips- “Come on” -using his free hands to guide Eggsy further.

As he looked for a better position, Eggsy heard Merlin’s frustrated huff. Eggsy pulled back his hands out of caution. “Everything all right?”

Merlin squirmed in the moisture gathering underneath him and huffed again. “It takes time,” he groused, more to himself than his companion.

“Sorry, what?”

“To get to know what each of us likes.” Merlin’s hands snaked up his own sides and back down again until they had dipped between his legs. “It takes time.” 

Using Eggsy’s shoulder as leverage, he pushed himself up and slipped a finger into himself for Eggsy to witness. “We’ll get there.” Merlin’s moan hitched as he pressed the digit deeper.

Eggsy didn’t have time to be offended though he wondered how Merlin could say such a thing. _How could he say _that_ when it was so clear to that Merlin didn’t know what he liked, didn’t know what he _could_ like when he’d given so few things a try?_

Eggsy massaged a hand over Merlin’s lower stomach as he watched Merlin start to prepare himself. “Let me,” he said, sliding his other hand near to take over. “Relax.”

Merlin looked determined to put on a show of how quickly he could be ready for Eggsy’s cock and eagerly added another finger to the first. Then, a third joined the pair and Eggsy shifted nervously on the mattress. 

“Maybe you should slow down.” If Merlin tore, he’d have to go the rest of the heat without penetrative sex. The omega didn’t seem to notice, or care.

“Stop, Sean,” Eggsy said gently, his hand petting Merlin’s wrist as it moved. 

The request spurred Merlin faster. Merlin huffed against the too sweet suggestion and spread his fingers until the stretch was painful. He stared down at the top of Eggsy’s wrinkled brow and dared him to look up. When the Alpha did, Merlin hoped he would see he was presenting a challenge. 

Concern, not competition, rolled in Eggsy’s chest as he held Merlin’s gaze. Merlin thought he knew better, but Eggsy wondered if he was taking it too far. When Merlin flinched at the pressure of his own hand, a low rumble vibrated the air between them.

It took Merlin a moment to realize the sound was Eggsy holding back a growl. 

Forcing deep breaths, Eggsy slowly removed Merlin’s hand and, with his own, cupped the ring of abused muscle to cool and soothe. “I had asked you to stop. To let me help you.”

Eggsy lifted his hand momentarily to confirm what his fingers felt, the swelling was going down but the tightness was returning as well.

“Now, we try it my way?”

Merlin nodded and let Eggsy’s strong hands take his hips. Eggsy lined them up with his own. His cock stood at attention, bobbing precariously close to Merlin’s puckered hole. 

Merlin blew a stuttering stream of air through pursed lips. His rushing blood sounded like an ocean in his ears as his heart pounded out of his chest. It was the knowledge that Eggsy was about to push into him while his muscles were still tight that had his pulse racing. 

Merlin closed his eyes and grit his teeth as he waited for the push, but instead was met by a smear of something cool, sticky, and wet. Squinting at the man between his knees, Merlin watched Eggsy gather precum from the head of his cock and smear it over his hole like a salve.

With as much relief as the anointing provided, Merlin wondered if the Alpha would ever get to the fucking point. 

“I’m fine. I’m ready,” Merlin insisted, arguing against the care Eggsy continued to provide.

But then Eggsy took both of Merlin’s legs to his shoulders and ducked his face out of sight. Merlin’s protests turned to mumbles pleas of need as Eggsy’s tongue cooled his fevered skin. 

Eggsy tasted himself on Merlin and hummed. He savored Merlin’s sudden shudder and shout. Encouraged, Eggsy licked the opening and teased his tongue inside.

Briefly pulling away, Eggsy asked with a moan of satisfaction, “Am I learning what you like, my omega?”

Merlin’s back bowed off the mattress at the title and arousal flushed his skin. “Alpha!” he cried out as Eggsy’s tongue dipped and swirled. His cock stood at attention, untouched but leaking on its own. “Yes.”

Sealing his lips around Merlin’s hole, Eggsy reached between Merlin’s legs to grasp his erection. He toyed with it. Pumping with a tight fist, Eggsy shifted the rhythm with unpredictable swiftness and delays.

To muffle his noises, Merlin grabbed a pillow. It was soaked in Eggsy’s scent. As Merlin breathed the musk of Alpha headed into rut, a rush of slick flooded Eggsy’s mouth. 

Merlin whined into the pillow, and Eggsy gave a sinful laugh against his skin. He drank Merlin's wetness as it came and added a finger to the work of his dexterous tongue.

With Eggsy’s hands otherwise occupied, Merlin was free to buck his hips as he pleased, but it only brought him away from Eggsy’s mouth. Whining and near clawing at the bed in desperation, he fought to hold still. Merlin wanted to beg and plead for more, but he was scared Eggsy would comply.

Eggsy added a second finger and returned to suckle and lick at Merlin's hole. Merlin writhed as Eggsy methodically worked him open, only just managing to stifle his screams behind sealed lips and the tightly packed feathers of the pillow, until he was pliant enough to take the Alpha’s girth.

Eggsy drew back and saw Merlin was watching him, peering over the edge of the pillow with a greedy, predatory eye.

“Think you can relax enough for me?” Eggsy asked. A soft smile played on his slick-shined lips, as Merlin welcomed him with widespread legs.

Eggsy lined up as he had before and this time Merlin kept his eyes open. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t look away. The press of Eggsy’s cock against him drew out a moan from each of them, gut deep, as their eyes remained locked on each other.

Merlin’s body produced more slick, opened for him, and the waiting felt worth it. A stretch and pull just reached the pleasurable cusp of pain as Eggsy entered. And soon they were gasping. 

“Keep going,” Merlin said as his opening caught on the head of Eggsy’s cock. 

“Are you sure?”

Merlin gripped Eggsy’s arm; his nails dug into the tense muscle. His eyes narrowed, boring into the blue eyes looking down at him.

Eggsy readied himself for ridicule, for the questions of his _Alpha-ness_. He’d gotten them the few times he’d sought companionship in another person rather than his hand. The questions that came with his compassion was seen as a fault always stung more than the release was worth.

Merlin surprised Eggsy when instead of ridicule, he turned on a soft look of concern. “Are _you_ sure, Eggsy? Not too gone to stop.”

Eggsy couldn’t imagine the conflict in Merlin to voice such a question with the well-being of his child on the line.

“We don’t have to take it this far,” he said, even as his body relaxed and drew Eggsy deeper.

Awkwardly and with as much care as he could manage, Eggsy leaned over Merlin to capture his mouth in a kiss. “You’re mine much as I’m yours, yeah? Or did ya forget?” Eggsy’s thumb dragged over Merlin’s bottom lip. “No part of me that don’t want all of you.”

Eggsy brought their mouths together again and let his hips slowly fall. They swallowed each other’s groans as Eggsy sank in to the hilt.

Merlin enjoyed the urgency of Eggsy’s kisses until he was ready for him to move. The grind of Merlin’s ass against his hips was enough sign for Eggsy to begin.

With Eggsy rutting into his body, Merlin was happy to follow his lead. They moved together like Omega and Alpha should - complements of biology. But more than that, as Eggsy’s eyes locked on his, Merlin felt that he and Eggsy specifically may have been made for each other.

“Eggsy, I-” The word Merlin was too scared to speak - the sentiment he feared wouldn’t be trusted in the throes of passion - stuck in his throat, choked back on a moan. Whatever the circumstances that brought them together, Merlin had no doubt he belonged to Eggsy and craved his claim.

At Merlin’s insistence, Eggsy worked himself into a brutal pace until the sounds coming from the omega’s lips were indecipherable. 

Releasing his hold on Eggsy’s arm, Merlin reached past his own neck and dragged his nails into the raised patch of skin behind his shoulder. When he closed his eyes he could pretend the bite of his nails was the sting of Eggsy’s claim.

When Eggsy came, Merlin felt the cool rush of the Alpha’s release. But instead of feeling relief, the omega began to panic. Despite how amazing it all felt, his building pleasure never seemed to peak. Eggsy groaned through his orgasm yet, to Merlin’s curiosity, didn’t slow or stop his thrusts.

In and out, Eggsy rocked, coating Merlin within. The wet slide was no longer a war of feverish slick and cool cock. 

Fever broken, the full pleasure of Eggsy’s talents crashed over Merlin, sending him over the edge of orgasm without warning. He came, seeing stars, clawing at Eggsy’s arms, and shouting profanities in languages Eggsy didn’t understand.

Eggsy followed Merlin into bliss, coming again at the chant of his name on Merlin’s lips. 

Spend and slick leaked from around Eggsy’s cock and covered their thighs. Eggsy wiped a sheet through the mess blindly as his focus locked on Merlin’s sated smile.

“How do you feel?” Eggsy asked, surprised by the rasp of his voice. 

Merlin licked his lips tasting traces of sweat, saliva, and Alpha that Eggsy’s kiss had left behind. “Full.” Every centimeter of his skin tingled, felt alive in a way he’d never noticed before. 

Merlin whimpered when Eggsy withdrew and the sensation over his skin was replaced by the cool river running down the cleft of his ass. “A knot now would be helpful.”

Eggsy sat back against the headboard with his mouth drawn in a line. He let the sound of silence speak for his hurt. 

“A toy, a plug. I didn’t mean. Apologies, lad.”

“That’s a myth, y’know. That the knot was meant to for an omega’s benefit during heat. Holding it in don’t help ya none. Not for this.”

Merlin hugged the pillow to his chest as he laid on his side. “Ye an expert now.”

“You slept and I read.”

“Oh?”

“Body can only accept so much hormone at one time or something. We can go again when you need. Knotting during heat increases chances of pregnancy. Maybe that’s why so many like me… whatever. But don’t let an alpha tell you they’re helping you out by keeping you immobile during your heat.”

“I don’t give a damn about any alpha other than you.” Merlin couldn’t say more; nothing good came of declarations first made during post-coital bliss. He pulled Eggsy in and hoped the Alpha could feel the truth of his heart through his kiss.

 

When they had finished turns in the loo and found the spare set of sheets, Merlin traded the pillow in favor of pulling Eggsy into his arms. 

They lie together in the dark, their embrace and quiet companionship spoke volumes their words had failed to communicate. Nosing into the dip at the top of Eggsy’s spine, Merlin yawned.

Eggsy reached around his waist, caressing Merlin’s side. “Want me to wake you when we get there? Or ask Bedeviere to-” A kiss to the sensitive patch of skin at his shoulder silenced Eggsy’s rambling.

“All I ask is ye stay with me.”

****~**~****

Bedeviere’s call over the intercom woke Eggsy from a dream: a tight, hot grip on his cock; a flood of desire from his core to his toes. 

As he rubbed sleep from his eyes and pushed himself to sit up, he realized it wasn’t a dream at all. Eggsy smoothed his hand over Merlin’s head as it bobbed between his thighs and allowed himself the groan of pleasure that rose from deep within.

Merlin’s eyelids fluttered and he looked up at Eggsy, still pumping at the shaft of the Alpha’s cock. “Is this all right?” he asked. He laved at the precum dripping over his hand as he waited for an answer.

“Said as soon as ya need.” Eggsy guided Merlin to take him in his mouth again as he felt a rush of arousal pulse through him. “Told you, I’m yours.”

Merlin sucked and licked, swirled his tongue and probed at Eggsy’s slit until the Alpha was lifting his hips in time with his play. When Eggsy warned he was close, Merlin hummed his delight and dove as low as he could. He drank of Eggsy, cradling his scrotum, massaging him and milking his cock of everything it would give. Eggsy arched into Merlin a second time as the omega moaned and dutifully swallowed all that filled his mouth.

Eggsy pulled Merlin up and into a greedy kiss. He savored the man’s weight on him and the taste of himself on Merlin’s tongue. “Do you want?” he asked, his hand slipping between them to wrap around Merlin’s erection.

In response, Merlin rocked into the hold and claimed Eggsy’s mouth with his own. In less than a dozen firm strokes, Merlin was trembling in Eggsy’s arms, painting their stomachs with his release.

****~**~****

The road curved over the hills predictably as Eggsy drove into the country. There were no livestock obstacles or cries of discomfort from his passenger to cause him worry. He heard no sounds at all over the wind whistling through the vented windows.

Merlin’s gaze drifted over the moonlit grasses toward the horizon where the sky sparkled with the lights of endless stars. 

“Pretty, innit?” Eggsy spoke into the night. If Merlin answered, he couldn’t hear.

Taking Merlin’s hand, Eggsy waited for some kind of acknowledgement. When Merlin’s window closed and the man turned his hazel eyes from the sky to him, Eggsy offered a slow smile and reached to lay his hand briefly on the swell of pup. 

“Something on your mind?”

Merlin hesitated, then covered Eggsy’s hand with his to let him know he was welcome to feel their bairn as often and long as he liked. “Tell me about your rut?” His request was delicate yet firm.

“My-” Eggsy’s eyes widened and shifted over the roadside. He almost took back his hand in surprise. “Um-”

Practiced in keeping calm under the most frightening circumstances, Merlin asked non-judgmentally, “Is it that bad?”

Eggsy gave a swift shake of his head as he struggled to sort out what Merlin meant. “What, um, is _bad_ like, for you?”

Merlin went scarlet, which Eggsy could have missed if he hadn’t turned fast enough to catch sight before Merlin hid his face toward the window again.

He rubbed Merlin’s tummy and urged, “Gonna find out one way or another. And sooner than later.”

“You saw some,” Merlin answered with uncharacteristic bashfulness. When he spoke again, his voice carried more of the confidence Eggsy was used to hearing. “Take what I need. Lose myself in it.”

Eggsy remembered the darkness in Merlin’s voice when he insisted Eggsy start without preparation. “I won’t let you hurt yourself.”

Merlin laced their fingers together by way of thanks and set their hands on his thigh. Eggsy sat up straighter and the countryside rolled on. 

It was only fair for Eggsy to share his own experience, but he didn’t know what to say. 

“Rut for me, only had a few.” He tried to hide his embarrassment with an even tone. “Um, presented late. Comes around maybe once a year.” Eggsy took his hand from Merlin to scratch at his neck then quickly returned it for the comfort his omega provided. “I don’t-” he released a sharp breath. “What do you want to know?”

Merlin gently cleared his throat before asking, “Do you lose yourself?”

Eggsy’s eyes lifted to the waxing moon rising above the road ahead of them. He drew his mouth in a hard line and he felt his blood run cold. “I’m not the mindless beast everyone assumes.”

Merlin flinched as Eggsy’s palm lost its warmth. For the first time, the Alpha’s temperature felt dangerous. 

“Eggsy?” Merlin had a guess at who would fill the lad’s mind with such thoughts. He wished Kingsman had been in a position to protect the young Alpha from all that had transpired since Lee’s passing.

“I don’t think anything before you matters,” Eggsy said suddenly and Merlin wondered if the Alpha had read his thoughts. “I think this time is going to be different.” With a deep breath Eggsy filled the confined space of the car with apology and affection. His hand went back to reflecting Merlin’s warmth. “It’s already different.”

Merlin looked down at the hands clasped and resting on his thigh. He couldn’t help but to question whether Eggsy’s drop in temperature had been an automatic reflex or a conscious response.

“I won’t let you hurt yourself, either,” Merlin said. 

“Yeah, gov, I know,” Eggsy answered with a nod. “You always been the one I can trust to keep me safe.”

****~**~****

The next 48 hours were a blur of writhing limbs, long showers, and short naps. Times for snacks were wedged in here and there, but an evening meal was promised. After their strenuous days of bedroom (and living room) activity, it was a necessity. 

As they finished plates of roast and veg, Eggsy made a mental note to look up sofa repairs in the morning.

As a chill ran through down his spine, Eggsy leaned closer than would typically be comfortable or appropriate at the table. But Merlin appreciated the proximity - and the hand kneading his shoulder. His knees went weak as Eggsy’s fingertips drifted a few centimeters lower. When they accidentally on purpose started massaging Merlin’s scent gland, it felt like falling in love.

“I need a bath,” Eggsy announced hesitantly. “Will you be all right an hour without me? Or should I wait until after?” He drew his hand up Merlin’s neck to the base of his skull. Merlin’s time away from the office (and his razor) had grown him a wide patch of stubble there. Eggsy scratched at it, enjoying the way Merlin’s skin became gooseflesh under his touch.

“I should be fine.”

The clock on the wall informed them it had been four hours since they’d broken the armrest of the old couch. But Merlin trusted his body, and he felt no signs of increased cramping or lustful need.

“All right.” Eggsy leaned in for a kiss, dropping one hand between them to caress Merlin’s achy belly. “Be good, you two.” He took to Merlin’s lips again, lingering in the press of Merlin’s tongue against his own, then excused himself from the kitchen.

With Eggsy indisposed, Merlin took it upon himself to tidy the kitchen of their dinner. The overdone potatoes turned to mash as he scraped the leftovers into a container. It brought a silly smile to his face. 

Chuckling to himself, Merlin looked around the room. A living picture of family came to mind, like a dream. Eggsy at the table smiled up at him; the baby buckled into a chair, babbled and smeared themselves with pureed foods. The sudden reality of baby and home settled over Merlin, filling him with a sense of excitement - and urgency.

Deciding the dishes would be easier to wash after a soak, Merlin declared the mess ‘clean’. 

 

Website after website displayed “Best of” and “Must Have” lists for first time parents. Pictures of mated couples cooing over their newborns popped up everywhere. In every photograph, Merlin saw himself, Eggsy, and their wee one. 

He may have filled a basket or two with “essentials”, but Merlin had enough self-control to keep his credit cards in his wallet for the time being. 

Closing the laptop, Merlin leaned back on his chair. He still had an half hour to spare. With his hand rubbing slow circles over his tight abdomen, Merlin allowed his thoughts to drift.

He envisioned a nursery - tall windows for natural light, shelves for storybooks and toys, a rocking chair and cradle. It was a serene space until he imagined Eggsy walking through the door with ripped jeans and a faded tee, paint splattered over his arms and dappled into his hair.

Merlin licked his lips as the fantasy shifted. Instead of painting the nursery, Eggsy was outside of the storehouse. Plans for the cradle and bookcase were tacked up on the wall. Wood dust clouded the air and stuck to the sweat of Eggsy’s arms. Sunlight framed the lines of Eggsy’s body as he measured and cut boards for his projects. His brow furrowed in concentration and his muscles drew taught from exertion. Fantasy Eggsy caught Merlin staring, looked up from his work, and winked.

Merlin squirmed in his chair as desire coiled low in his belly. He swiped a hand down his face and mumbled into the empty room, “Think I need some fresh air.”

Grabbing a light jumper from the closet, Merlin headed out into the autumn evening. The cool breeze was refreshing against the heat rising in his cheeks. The sun had started to dip below the horizon and Merlin chastised himself for not spending more time in nature. 

“We’ll go on walks,” Merlin promised his bairn as he massaged the soreness building in his lower back. “See sunsets and mornings. I’ll let ye howl at the moon,” he chuckled,” if that’s what ye want.”

Wandering the grounds, Merlin kept up his conversation with his pup, one-sided as it was. He hoped the little movements he felt were real responses. It would be nice to know the baby was listening, that they could recognize his voice.

When Merlin had walked almost the full circle of the house, he proceeded toward the storehouse. The ramshackle building needed a lot more work than Eggsy let on. Though Merlin understood why the man’s focus was set to fix up the main cottage first. 

With the storehouse appearing so dilapidated, Merlin was surprised to find the doors locked. He supposed it was all for the best. He had been experiencing some discomfort throughout his walk; it didn’t make sense to go poking around the edge of the woods now anyway.

As Merlin turned back to the house, his persistent backache was paired with such a terrible cramp that it buckled his knees. He held the corner of the house with a white-knuckle grip and cried out in surprise. It took a minute of measured breaths before Merlin could take a step. Another two and Merlin was doubled over again.

The house wasn’t far off. Merlin knew if his body could give him just a few minutes between the pains he would be able to get indoors. He stumbled over the uneven terrain, begging for time. Then, too soon, was brought to his knees by a deep, twisting cramp that radiated from his back to his groin and around back again. The pressure increased with the seconds that ticked by and Merlin curled onto his side as he took out his phone.

When Eggsy picked up, Merlin found himself unable to speak through the pain.

Eggsy was on the porch with his nose to the wind before Merlin’s whimpers carried over the line. His omega’s distressed scent was easy to pick out among the familiar landscape. The moon, just days from full, lit his way over the field.

When Eggsy crouched at his side, Merlin crawled onto him until he had the Alpha flat on his back. Straddling Eggsy and pawing at his clothes, Merlin fought for the guarantee of quick relief. The cramping had become constant, he could feel slick pouring between his legs. 

Merlin pressed his face into Eggsy’s neck and breathed deep, hoping it would buy him just a minute free of pain. 

Eggsy scrambled out from under Merlin. He held the frantic omega at the arms to keep him at bay. “I’ll take you home.” Eggsy was suddenly and keenly aware of the wilderness that thrived just beyond the treeline.

“Do it here,” Merlin snapped. “Do it now.” Merlin clawed at Eggsy’s arm, trying to pull him closer. 

Merlin’s nails had dragged over his skin so many times the past few days that Eggsy was surprised to see they had managed to draw blood. “I’m not going to-” Eggsy looked over his shoulder at the porchlight. “I could carry you. It’s not far at all.”

Merlin looked up from where he was crouched in the grass, huddled in agony. “Fuck me,” he ground out.

“I doubt you’ll die if I don’t fuck you against this tree.”

Merlin hugged himself through another rush of pain and arousal. Eggsy could smell Merlin’s distress growing with each moment of dealy. Then, Eggsy smelled the faint bloom of a rose and a new concern quickened his pulse. The real danger of Merlin’s heat returned to the forefront of Eggsy’s mind and his hands went to the button of his jeans.

Eggsy had Merlin turned around in an instant. The backs of the omega’s trousers were soaked. Eggsy stripped Merlin’s pants to his ankles and groaned at the sight. The sight and scent had his senses on overload. Eggsy wasn’t sure if he wanted to growl or purr.

He brought his hand through the slick and sucked it from his fingers. Then, he coated his fingers again and sank them deep into Merlin’s eager opening. They both moaned as Merlin stretched.

Eggsy’s hands grabbed at Merlin’s hips with a hold that was sure to bruise. He pressed into the tight heat of his omega, increasing speed and force with each thrust until he was slamming into him. 

Merlin met his pace, pushing back with matched intensity and need. He gave shouts of pleasure each time the ring of Eggsy’s base met his opening. He begged for Eggsy’s knot, even if it wouldn’t swell enough to catch. Merlin imagined the muscle filling with blood, forcing its way in and locking them together. As his fantasy grew, so did the scent of his arousal.

Something feral churned in the back of Eggsy’s mind until it rolled through his throat. He pushed Merlin’s shirts up to bury his face between Merlin’s shoulder blades. He licked at the sweat, grazed his teeth over the knobs of Merlin’s spine.

Merlin yelped as Eggsy nosed and snuffed over his scent gland. When he felt the cool trail of Eggsy’s tongue trace the edge and lave at the raised flesh, Merlin cried out for his claim.

It took every ounce of Eggsy’s fortitude to lift his mouth from Merlin’s shoulder, turn his face, and sink his teeth into the bare patch of flesh instead of Merlin’s scent gland.

At the bite, Merlin let out a growl of his own - one Eggsy had never heard in all their times together. He tore bark from the tree trunk in strips and begged for more, which Eggsy was more than happy to supply. 

Grinding back on Eggsy’s ring, Merlin came, his spasms sapping him of what strength he had left.

Eggsy held Merlin in place as he chased his own finish. Bearing his omega’s weight was an afterthought to the lust that ruled his body and mind. He slammed into Merlin again, burying himself in the tightening heat and shook apart with a howl. His cock throbbed with each surge of his orgasm until Merlin was full to the brim. His mouth tended to each mark on Merlin’s back with urgent care.

When the bites had been licked clean, Eggsy pulled out expecting a smooth slide through his spend and Merlin’s slick. He was surprised by the tug it took to extract himself. 

It wasn’t until he was tucking into his pants that he saw the beginnings of a knot - angry red and still expanding. Eggsy gave it a hard squeeze of counter-pressure before stuffing himself away wet and sloppy.

He didn’t want to consider what could have happened to them while locked together in the wild. 

Merlin dressed quickly as well, barely a wince as he pulled his jumper over the fresh wounds.

“You OK to walk?” Eggsy’s question came out gruff. Though as he gazed upon his omega, his eyes shone with a tender glow in the moonlight. At Merlin’s nod, Eggsy invited him to lead their way to the cottage.

Two steps behind, Eggsy turned his senses on high alert for threats. The still silence of the night raised his suspicions. 

When his omega and pup were safely home, Eggsy paused on the porch for a last look over the property. Slowly, the countryside came back to life. Eggsy narrowed his eyes at the moon and felt the hairs of his neck stand on end.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient while I participated with NaNoWriMo!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter of schmoop, cuddles, and a little mystery as we add in some spy stuff.

**~*~**~*~**

The energy crackled under Eggsy's skin like static as he crossed the kitchen. He smoothed his hands over his neck, willing his hackles settle and anxiety subside.

Venturing deeper into the house, he listened for clues as to where Merlin had retreated. The house was dark and quiet. Table lamps and firelight of the living room cast long, moving shadows through the open spaces. But Merlin hadn’t flipped the switches for any overhead lights, so Eggsy left them off as well.

His heart beat quickly as he walked. Two fingers on the pulsepoint of his wrist helped him keep track of its pace as he breathed and willed himself into some semblance of calm. 

What had happened out there, in the field, was… not how he expected any time with Merlin - or anyone - to be. And yet, as it unfolded, as his instincts took over, body responding to Merlin’s own spoken and non-verbal requests, it felt right.

But Merlin had been quiet the walk home. His face blank, far away.

After the raw intimacy they shared, concern threatened to smother the perfect feeling of right he’d experienced with Merlin shaking apart in his arms. He needed to get to Merlin. He needed to know what transpired between them out here wasn’t a mistake. If they had crossed a line in their lust, it couldn’t go unspoken.

A hiss and groan from the hallway caught Eggsy’s attention. He followed it to the second bedroom.

The door whispered gently over the rug as Eggsy eased it open, but the freshly greased hinges were silent. “Merlin?” A sliver of light shone through the door of the bathroom. 

Drawn in by Merlin’s hummed response, Eggsy found him. The door was open just enough to see Merlin standing in front of the mirror, twisting to get a better look at his back. The swell of affection he felt for Merlin was nothing new. The intensity, however, startled and frightened him. If Merlin were to pull away now, were to express his discomfort at anything that had transpired between them, Eggsy feared he could never forgive himself. 

Eggsy bit down on his lip with worry and his eyes darted to Merlin’s reflection. Meeting his gaze in the glass, Merlin wore the bare hint of a satisfied smile. His long arm curled around his back, tracing the marks Eggsy had left behind. 

Eggsy huffed in surprise, giving Merlin a short smile in return. Merlin was OK. They were OK. His relief was near hysterical; he hoped he was hiding it well enough. Hand on the door handle, Eggsy leaned into the bathroom. “Can I help?”

“That would be best, I think.” 

Eggsy stepped behind Merlin. The skin under his hands was wounded, but he couldn’t help but see the impressions of his teeth as things of beauty. Eggsy kissed each one. “How does a shower sound?” he asked, eyes closed. 

A purr started low in Merlin’s chest as Eggsy’s fingers walked up his sides. His breath hitched at the press of Eggsy’s parted mouth on his neck. Not trusting his voice, Merlin stood and turned into Eggsy’s arms. 

The kiss they shared was slow. Like the way Eggsy attended the markings on Merlin’s back, Merlin took his time discovering the mold of Eggsy’s lips against his own.

 

The bites stung under the soap and spray, but Eggsy’s touch was soothing. Eggsy’s words were soft at Merlin’s ear. “A large bath; that’s what this room needs. With jets and backrests-”

“Believe that’s a spa.”

“Hm. Yeah.” Eggsy’s arms slipped around Merlin’s waist, over his new curves. “Adults only, bug. No kids allowed in Da’s spa.” Eggsy nipped gently at Merlin’s shoulder. 

At some point Eggsy had decided this house would be there’s: a permanent space, in which to raise the child; a safe place, away from the city, away from Kingsman and the threats their jobs attracted.

“Could be nice,” Merlin said. 

Eggsy wondered if the agreement extended to the unvoiced implication that the home would remain in their possession long after the baby was born. He nuzzled the gland behind Merlin’s shoulder and keened at the scent that filled him with the warmth of home.

**~*~**~*~**

Eggsy spent extra time in the shower, using the last of the hot water lost in thought of further repairs and nursery preparations. The steam filled the room with a thick fog. So much so that Merlin left the room to dress. But without Merlin next to him, Eggsy’s body temperature dropped again. It’s not so low he was uncomfortable. Eggsy attributed that to their recent tryst and toweled off humming a happy tune.

Eggsy tiptoed into the living room. A small fire burned in the wood stove and blankets piled high in the corner of the sofa, but Merlin’s energy was the opposite of what the cozy scene advertised. 

Above his Kingsman glasses, Merlin’s brow furrowed into a small v. His fingers flew over the keyboard in his lap. Frustration and concern filled the air.

Without pausing his work - letting his left hand take over the work for two - Merlin invited Eggsy onto the cushion at his side. Merlin draped an arm over Eggsy’s shoulder when he snuggled close.

“Are ye hungry?” Merlin whispered after a lingering kiss to Eggsy’s forehead. His lips cooled against Eggsy’s skin. Merlin pulled the blanket tighter about Eggsy’s shoulders and Eggsy looked up at him with tender surprise.

Trouble at Kingsman clearly had him in a tight spot, yet Merlin made Eggsy priority. The realization had Eggsy tucking himself further under Merlin’s chin. He shook his head no, content to ignore the growl of his stomach in favor of remaining as they were.

Kelsey cleared her throat repressively and chimed in. “Pretty sure you aren’t asking me, boss, but I’m starved. Check in again tomorrow?” Then, she added a mumbled stipulation. “Uhm… unless health issues get in the way.”

“We’ll make the time.” Merlin rested his chin over Eggsy’s head as the alpha chuckled. “Well done with the progress you’ve made thus far, Merlin. Quite impressed.”

Kelsey’s smile was nearly audible as she took in the praise. “Thank you, sir. Take care.”

Color rose in Merlin’s cheeks as he closed the call. It was odd, the frequent sentiments passed to him from staff and knights alike. These weren’t akin to the relationships they’d had with previous Arthurs. 

To be so touched by their expressions of care, Merlin wondered if it made him weak. He appreciated their concern for his health and that of the bairn, even when they didn’t understand the delicacy of his situation. 

There wasn’t much Merlin could or cared to work on without Kelsey in his ear, so Merlin closed his laptop, removed his glasses, and set both on the coffee table. Cuddled in front of the fire, he idly scratched Eggsy’s scalp and sighed. “I was thinking.”

“I’m utterly floored.” Eggsy’s voice was muffled against Merlin’s chest, but his sarcasm was clear as ever. “What gives you the right?”

“Eggsy,” Merlin warned. 

“Sorry. What is it you’re thinking about?”

“The claiming.”

“Oh.” Eggsy shifted, an uneasy twist in his gut. 

“I’d like it to be like tonight. Under the full moon.” 

Eggsy stifled a gasp.

“Wild,” Merlin continued, seemingly unembarrassed by his confession. “During a rut. Locked together afterward.”

Lifting his eyes to the man he longed to call his mate, Eggsy’s mouth fell open. Merlin hadn’t noticed: the stillness of the night, the strange shift of nature, the danger. 

Merlin looked down at him and Eggsy caught a flicker of insecurity pass through the omega’s features. The fire crackled in the lull. Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to turn Merlin down.

Eggsy hugs Merlin, his hand protectively covering the swell of the omega’s belly. “As soon as their born,” he promised. “When you feel ready, we can.” A new project sprung to mind; they’d need somewhere private, secure. 

“It could be a while,” Eggsy admitted, running his palm over Merlin’s to soothe himself more than his partner. He picked at a fold in the fabric of Merlin’s shirt. 

With Merlin professing his desires so openly, Eggsy decided to make the apology that had been weighing heavily on his heart. “My feral side came out tonight.” He chewed at his lip. “I should have had more control. I’ve always had more control.”

“Alpha.” The title is firm yet full of affection. “I could have stopped you. If any of it wasn’t what I wanted, I would have ended it.”

“But you said you lose yourself. And I promised not to let us get carried away.”

Tipping Eggsy’s face with a touch, Merlin drew him into a light kiss. “You worry too much. The only thing about tonight that I regret is that we couldn’t make our claims.” 

Eggsy knew they had said they belonged to each other; they called each other Omega and Alpha; promised an eventual claim; considered the possibility of a bond. Still, hearing Merlin wanted his claim that night struck him. 

With an uneasy frown, Eggsy reminds Merlin his next rut may be a year away, or more. 

Merlin’s hand came to rest on his stomach, covering Eggsy’s fidgeting fingers. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Eggsy nodded, grateful for Merlin’s patient understanding. “Me neither, gov.”

Freeing from Merlin’s hold, Eggsy’s hand slipped under the t-shirt. The heat of Merlin’s skin pulled Eggsy out of his thoughts. “Can you take this off?” he asked, tugging at the hem.

Merlin sat forward and gave Eggsy the honor of removing the shirt. 

Each press of Eggsy’s lips against Merlin’s chest drew heat to the omega’s groin. But, as the downward journey of Eggsy’s mouth and hands slowed, Merlin realized his Alpha’s intentions were something different than Merlin initially assumed. 

Eggsy laid himself out, stretching along the couch and resting his head in Merlin’s lap. He turned toward Merlin’s stomach and gave it another, lingering kiss. 

Merlin stroked Eggsy’s cheek as he watched Eggsy’s eyes fall closed. 

Eggsy’s murmuring started low, his lips tickling Merlin’s stomach. 

Eggsy’s voice rose slowly until Merlin could make out the words he sang:  
“Sleep, my child, and peace attend thee  
All through the night,  
And I, my loved ones watch am keeping  
All through the night.”

Merlin gave a last caress to Eggsy’s cheek before burying his fingers in Eggsy’s hair. As his Alpha continued, Merlin hummed along.  
“I, my loved ones watch will keep  
All through the night.”

**~*~**~*~**

Waking alone in the living room was only made mildly less objectionably by the care that had obviously gone into making him comfortable on the couch. There was a pillow under his head, a strong fire burning, a thin blanket tucked around his shoulders and a thicker blanket folded over his feet.

The physical comforts were nice, but Merlin rubbed at his eyes with a sense of disappointment and fear. Eggsy’s scent had faded from the room. Merlin gingerly sat up, anxious for the cramping to set in. None came. After a few minutes of trepidation, Merlin gave up on the wait.

He stood easily and followed the sounds of construction to the front porch..

Eggsy tore out rotted wood with precision and a strength Merlin was no longer surprised to witness.

Nonetheless, Eggsy was approaching rut. Though Merlin didn’t fully understand what that meant for his Alpha, he was concerned. “Ye sure you’re OK to do this?”

Eggsy wiped his brow with his sleeve. “Have to keep moving. Would run, but I wanted to be near, in case you needed anything.”

The corner of Merlin’s mouth lifted at Eggsy’s consideration. 

Eggsy dropped an armful of splintered boards into a pile. “How are ya?”

“All right.” 

Eggsy stared.

“Honest.”

Eggsy surveyed the porch and his companion. “Need to go to town later. Grab supplies.”

An Alpha in rut travelling an hour into a small town. “You sure that’s wise?”

“I’m sure I’ll lose my mind if I don’t give myself work here.” Excess energy vibrated around Eggsy so strong he was sure Merlin could feel it. He needed to burn it off and there really was a lot to do before the pup arrived. Months passed quickly if one wasn’t mindful. 

“You’re welcome to take the trip with me. If you’d like.”

****

**~*~**~*~**

The town center was nothing like Eggsy remembered. No smiling welcome. Gaunt faces of sorrow and worry scurried about with their eyes to the sidewalks. Most villagers were too caught up in their own frantic gossip to bother with the Alpha or his companion.

“I take it this is new,” Merlin said in a hush. Self conscious of his body and scent, he tugged at his jumper. His hands went to his waist then collar, though hardly anyone gave him a second glance. 

Eggsy’s eyes flitted from the small fountain to the abandoned carts that dotted the edges of the square. He frowned.

At their left, the automatic door to the hardware store stood closed despite the sign announcing it was open for business. The electricity had been disconnected; wires hung useless just inside. 

Ducking between flyers on the window, Eggsy shielded his eyes of the glare. He pressed his nose to the glass and waved until he caught the shopkeeper’s eye. A sinking feeling grew in Eggsy’s stomach when she nodded her head in distracted dismay. 

As Eggsy led Merlin inside with a push on the handle, a bell rang bright and harsh above their heads. 

“Screws round here; wood through the back,” he told Merlin. They each picked up a basket from the pile and headed toward the voices that carried down the aisles.

It was by chance that near boxes of wood screws, nails, and bolts, a small huddle stood chatting. With interest, Merlin and Eggsy took their time at the opposite end of the row. The townsfolk spoke of an ailment striking the young people, a mystery to even their most experienced doctors - terrible and spreading.

Merlin and Eggsy exchanged a look before donning their glasses and setting both pairs to record audio and visual. 

Revealing details of side effects and cause escaped them, too much left out for the spies to make heads or tails of the illness on their own. Their yet incomplete database kept them frustratingly in the dark.

Suddenly, the discussion came to a halt. Though the townsfolk weren’t trained themselves, they weren’t oblivious to eavesdroppers. Short words of caution and wishes for luck were exchanged. Disquiet radiated from the group. Then, with wary glances at the strangers, they dispersed. 

It seemed almost all were in a rush to put distance between themselves and the newcomers. All but one. 

Eyes on Eggsy, nose in the air, a lone figure approached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? I'm nervous about coming back after the hiatus.  
> I truly hope you all had a lovely November. <3  
> I'm happy to be back. :)


	17. Chapter 17

****~**~****

Eggsy stood at Merlin’s side, careful not to project any signs of distress or posture aggression at the alpha standing in front of them.

The man shook his head as he looked Eggsy up and down. The unabashed scowl the man wore and his audible sniffing made Eggsy’s own nose burn. 

Stomach twisting under the scrutiny, Eggsy widened his stance. It had been a long time since anyone had measured him by his secondary gender - a long time since his Alphaness was the first thing upon which he would be judged. Despite wanting to remark on the intrusion, Eggsy kept his voice to himself. 

Finally, the villager spoke up. “My ex would have killed to meet ye, boy.” 

A statement like that should have had Eggsy fit to snap, but Merlin radiated warmth and calm at his back.

Clearly looking to instigate, the common alpha took another step forward, still deep in his assessment. His arms crossed over his body now. His chest puffed with bravado. “Alpha, aye.” The emphasis used gave no leeway for misunderstanding. “Not just edging toward like some round these parts, but full…”

The stranger’s mouth twitched to the side as Eggsy took in the new information. 

Eggsy glanced carefully at Merlin. Bethany hadn’t mentioned the spectrum of alphas in town. The scant information remaining in Kingsman’s files surely didn’t include such a report. He wondered if the destroyed medical records would have had notes on this anomaly, or mention other populations with similar conditions.

“ _High_ alphas ye call yourselves. Ain't that it?” He used the term with an air of mockery, unfazed, unintimidated. 

“Wouldn’t put meself above noone, sir. Swear down. I’m nothin special.” Where once it was the truth - having been brought to believe he was less than thanks to his stepfather and others blindly following the bastard’s lead - the statement was only a half-truth now. In Kingsman, with Merlin, Eggsy had found a purpose, a pup, a mate. He’d helped to save the world… He’d be a father.

It left him dry in the mouth to think of such things. The responsibility on his shoulders was heavy, but the fear of what he had to lose was greater.

Eggsy felt Merlin’s hand on his back and realized his scent had drifted. _Bollocks._

The stranger smiled, likely thinking he was getting the best of the newcomer. Little did he know, thoughts of Merlin and the baby would only spur Eggsy into fierce action if the man proved a threat. 

The smile slid into a sneer as the man licked at the corners of his mouth. “How’d ye come ‘round here? Why?”

“Beg your pardon, sir,” Merlin said, one step away from telling the man not-too-kindly too fuck off, “but who are ye?

“A man with a warning.” Pupils steady, not a muscle flinched: he didn’t appear to be lying. “As I said, my ex would have been especially interested in meeting your mate here. Still would, I reckon... Unusual. But with all that’s- Well, it stands to figure.”

Eggsy inwardly cinged to be spoken of like an aberration, though he understood that in many ways his kind were relics - anachronisms of the past. “Never come across another like meself, sir. Your population here different from the city?” 

“Not need your fingers to count high Alphas round these parts.”

 _So there are others,_ Eggsy concluded, _beyond Bethany’s late wife._

“Can't recall a time ya would've,” the man went on. “Rare sort, even in the backwood. Keep to themselves, thinking they're better than.” He seemed stuck on that idea. Better than. To Eggsy, the claim was ludicrous.

“No sir. Don't count meself special for nothin,” Eggsy insisted. He went on, hoping a little self-deprecation would drive the point home. “Just an infertile, dying breed.” 

The man leered at the round figure of omega with child. “Don't look so infertile now.” 

Eggsy placed himself between the stranger and Merlin, ready to act if the man so much as reached to lay a hand on his mate. A growl rolled low in Eggsy’s throat. It was checked and mild, but present enough to drain some color from the stranger’s cheeks. 

“That is our business and none of yours,” Merlin’s scent was more fury than affront. Even so, his hand remained on Eggsy’s back as if keeping his mate calm was his foremost concern. 

Eggsy appreciated the gesture but wished there was something he could do for Merlin. Eggsy feared any attempt to push a soothing air toward Merlin - as he’d done in situations before - would suggest weakness of an omega to the obstinate alpha before them. Undermining Merlin’s strength was something Eggsy desperately wanted to avoid.

In front of them, the man shook his head in disbelief. “A fertile Alpha. What my ex would do to-”

“Who the hell is your ex, bruv?” Before Kingsman, Eggsy would have brought himself nose to nose with the bloke. All this ‘manners maketh man’ shite wasn’t getting him anywhere. Nonetheless, he kept a respectful distance. He let his anger slip through by way of his language instead of his fists. “And why the fuck would we give a shite about them, eh?”

The bell over the door rang twice and a pair of school aged kids shuffled past the aisle. One of them looked up at the men, lifted their hand to wave. The other dragged them away without either having said a word.

The man’s sardonic smile wilted. “Our children are sick. Omegas landing in hospital, so ill some…” his words trailed off as his eyes began to water. 

Eggsy narrowed his eyes at the change of subject and at the man’s change in affect. 

After dashing his eyes with the cuff of his jacket, the man continued. “And our young alphas.”. He gestured toward the kids who had passed. “Well, some of them go on uninfected. Afraid to go out. Absent from school. Afraid to catch - whatever this virus is.” A faraway look fell over his features like a veil.

“What about the others?” The information was too jarring to ignore. He wordlessly agreed to table his inquiries about the ‘alpha-obsessed ex’ for later. 

“Hmm?”

“The other alphas,” Merlin asked, drawing closer to Eggsy. “What happens to the other alphas?”

“They went cold.” The man’s eyes dropped to the floor. Guilt weighed heavy in his words. “It happened fast. Were sent to the bathhouse.” Silence hung between them a while. Eggsy and Merlin exchanged a look but didn’t dare to interrupt. “Then they disappeared.”

“Any you! Started seeing you around. Coming in and out.” Some life returned to the man’s eyes and it was again his turn to regard Eggsy with suspicion. The meticulous watchdog was back on alert, almost too scrutinous. Eggsy could tell he was trying to shift some blame. “I knew what you were but didn’t say nothing. Not many know what to scent for. But, my ex knew. So, I learned. Then, kids start getting sick. Convenient timing.” 

There wasn’t much left to the imagination. The man was drawing his conclusions clearly, though Eggsy didn’t know what that would mean for the rest of their conversation. He knew he would have to tread carefully, lest the day take a turn for the worse.

Merlin spoke for them both, conveying sincerity and their sympathies. 

Hackles raised, but with a heavy heart, Eggsy added, “We didn’t come looking for trouble.”

“Nae,” the man frowned, “but trouble found ye nonetheless. Ye get out of town and I forgot ye came. I see ye again and won’t be so kindly.”

Bowing to intimidation wasn’t a habit to which Eggsy wanted to return. He hadn’t allowed himself to be strong-armed into submission since Dean. Not since he found safety for his mother and sister, not since he found safety for himself in Kingsman. 

Though he felt unsettled, Eggsy set his jaw and shook thoughts of escalating the confrontation from his head. 

“Fine,” Eggsy said to appease. The irritation in his voice could be read as acquiescence to staying away, he hoped. Truthfully, he was planning more frequent visits and a deep investigation. “And I’ll be sure to avoid your ex,” he added with a curled brow. “The lack of name and description has been most helpful.”

Merlin dug a knuckle into the base of Eggsy’s spine. 

The stranger examined his nails and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “If she knows you’re around, she’ll find you.” 

He was cavalier about the whole thing. Eggsy would have thought him incapable of empathy if he hadn’t witnessed the emotion he’d shown while speaking of the children - unless that was an act.

“I suppose you’ll make sure she knows where to find me.”

The man met Eggsy’s gaze, still wearing a deep set frown.

Merlin’s knuckle dug deeper into Eggsy’s back. Unflinching, he leaned into Merlin’s hand. _Press as hard as you like, babe._ The move said. Eggsy wasn’t backing down until he figured this guy out. “Doesn’t seem like your warning is all that valuable when it’s done up with vaguery and insult.”

“Believe what you will. I just want you out of our town. We all do - or they would if they knew what you are.”

 _More insults._ “Brilliant. Cheers.”

The man swatted his hand through the air like Eggsy’s frustration was a fly buzzing too close. “Ye get good and gone, aye? Dinnae need anymore trouble from ye hanging round. Think you’ve caused enough that already.”

Eggsy caught his eye. “Like I said, mate. I didn’t cause nothing here. Address ain’t public and neither is my status.”

The man drew his lips tight until they were thin white lines. When he spoke again, his words were sharper than any before. “Boy you walk around without blocker… flaunt bond with a pregnant omega… it’s nae difficult to piece together. Ye think we cannae figure it out?”

Merlin swore under his breath as Eggsy stood dumb.

With a scowl, the man turned and left. Behind him trailed the acrid stench of scorn, distrust, and fear. 

“What the bloody hell was that?” Merlin’s hand was a fist of Eggsy’s shirt fabric. He dipped his face low into the crook of Eggsy’s neck and breathed. As Eggsy shrugged in response, Merlin nuzzled at the line of the alpha’s collar. “Are you alright?”

“Of course.” Eggsy brought his hand to Merlin’s head to hold him close. The invitation for Merlin to scent him was apparent. Merlin accepted it without hesitation. “I’ll pick up the lumber and we can be off.”

Merlin nodded, pressing his nose against the cool of Eggsy’s skin. He took note of Eggsy’s dropping body temperature. Stress brought him down but so did rut. And right now either reason was good enough for Merlin to forego mention of their need for groceries. The trip was written off for another day, another town. If need be, Merlin knew they could stretch what food they had until their return to London.

With his mouth to Eggsy’s shoulder, Merlin checked in with his mate once more, “We can leave without it, love. We can go.”

Devotion swelled in Eggsy’s chest, leaving no room for air or words. Eggsy ran his fingers over the curve of Merlin’s skull, savoring the feel of warm lips against his shoulder and let his worry fade for just a moment.

“Come on,” Eggsy whispered when his desire to be home had grown greater than his wish to remain frozen in Merlin’s embrace. “Lumber stacks.” He took Merlin by the hand, linking his fingers through the warmth, and led the way.

****~**~****

The waiting room at the doctor’s office was alive and dead. Every seat was occupied. Every corner was filled with people standing in wait for an appointment. Patients held sweating ice packs to their foreheads and necks, others hugged hot water bottles to their stomachs and shivered in their winter coats and hats. And no one said a word to anyone else.

“Shite.” It was all too familiar. 

Dr. Dewey saw Eggsy and Merlin through the reception window and waved them through quickly. 

Everyone was too wrapped up in their own misery to notice the pair being pulled in out of queue. 

“We need to talk,” the doctor said as they hustled down the hallway. They came to a stop at the last exam room and Dr. Dewey ushered them in.

Merlin had questions, lots of them. But Dr. Dewey beat him to the punch, rattling off a slew of inquiries as fast as the quickest talkers Merlin had ever met. If not for the years spent with multiple agents chatting off both ears at once, Merlin doesn’t think he would have kept up - let alone have been able to pick apart what was rhetorical and what was sincere.

The most important bit Merlin clung to, however, wasn’t a question at all. 

“Their blood work are similar to yours,” Dr. Dewey said, and Merlin had him say it again.

“Isn’t that a breach of doctor patient confidentiality?” Eggsy shot a worried look at Merlin. “To be telling us that stuff?” 

“The omegas are dying. The alphas are disappearing.” Dr. Dewey struggled to keep his expression professionally neutral. “Confidentiality is great until the secrecy poses a danger to the patient themself. My patients have agreed to allow the assistance of consultants and other medical professionals on their cases.”

“What’s the deal, then?” Eggsy asked in a rush. “They have anything else in common? Among each other? Like that town we visited. They were hit hard by something just like this. They thought it was an isolated incident.”

Dr. Dewey looked between Eggsy and Merlin before rolling out his stool and taking out his pen and pad. “What town?” He eagerly took down all they could tell, though it wasn’t much.

“You have anything else for me? Informations about your own experiences with these symptoms, perhaps?” Dr. Dewey had his eyes set on Eggsy. “It wasn’t so long ago you went cold and came out the other end unscathed.”

Eggsy didn’t know what to say. He stood straighter and looked to Merlin, hoping he wouldn’t be left to field the questions alone.

Merlin gave a short nod and made sure the door to the exam room was secure. “We were on an experimental suppressant,” he revealed. “Full suppressant - no heats, no ruts, no scent.”

The doctor gave them sideways looks and a chuckle. “You say that worked? I don’t believe it. That would have… no. For how long?”

Merlin didn’t crack a smile. “Years for me.”

The doctor’s laughter died immediately. “Years without heat or scent?”

“No one knew,” Merlin assured. “Nearly a year for Eggsy as well.”

The doctor gestured toward the alpha and corrected Merlin. “Elliot.”

“Right,” Merlin winced. There was too much to keep track of, too many scents to process and avenues of curiosity to decide whether or not to pursue. “Pregnancy brain,” he gave as an excuse.

“I see it all the time.” The doctor nodded, supporting what he knew to be a false claim. “Pregnancy brain, yes. Be careful with that.” 

Eggsy chimed in to take the attention off of the slip. “There was something different about the pills, though. Toward the last month or so. Like Mur said, we were on suppressants a long time and nothin’ bad happened. I mean, everything worked the way it was supposed to. Then, all of the sudden, I got so sick I couldn’t take them anymore. And Mur ended up pregnant. How… how could he get pregnant on them?”

The doctor shrugged. “Was it a contraceptive as well?”

“I… I dinnae know? Guess not. Or else it failed spectacularly. I had assumed no heat meant there’d not be an egg to fertilize.”

Eggsy’s hand alighted the swell of Merlin’s stomach as a need to protect surged through his veins. The baby was a miracle, one Eggsy would lay down his life to keep safe. As a hint of crushed rose petals tinged the air, gratitude for the pup’s sire filled Eggsy’s chest in a way he hadn’t experienced before. To whomever had given them this gift, Eggsy felt sudden and great affection.

Merlin covered Eggsy’s hand and held him close as if sensing something had changed. Outwardly, he did nothing else to broadcast the shift in Eggsy’s mood. Keeping his eyes on the doctor, Merlin kept the conversation flowing. 

“Have any of these kids reported being on a new suppressant?”

“Come to think of it, the pharmaceutical company outside Bristol had a change of hands. Took over the contract with the local school districts. But - no, no, no - we’ve had a look at the blockers. Same compound the kids have been given for years.”

Merlin felt Eggsy’s hand tense over the bairn and felt similarly wary of such a practice in the hands of the education system. “School districts?”

“The schools round here provide blockers for the kids once they present with symptoms, but like I said, this has been procedure for ages. Our first case only popped up a a few months ago.” The doctor glanced down at Merlin’s belly and then gave each Merlin and Eggsy a look. 

Eggsy took note of the locked door and turned a hardened gaze on Dr. Dewey. “We had nothing to do with this.”

Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose. Though Eggsy’s instinct was to take a defensive stance, Merlin wondered if maybe they did have a hand in this mess, maybe Kingsman did. He couldn’t stand watch without offering to help. “What can we do? Have the children stopped taking the pills?”

“It’s an injection. Intramuscular. Once a month. But you don’t really think-”

“I dinnae believe in coincidence. Never have.”

The doctor chewed at his lip, looking more lost than certain. “I can ask parents to opt out of the blocker until we rule it out as a cause. But it’ll cause backlash, panic.”

“Bruv, word is schools are already empty and panic is spreading.” For all the compassion he had toward the omegas, Eggsy couldn’t help but notice how often the subject of alphas was avoided. “What about those kids gone missing? What’s done?”

The doctor wouldn’t meet either of their eyes. Finally, he turned to the window, squinting at the drawn shades. “Not one has turned up,” he confessed, voice thick with emotion. He apologized like he was giving news of loss of Eggsy’s own kin. And Eggsy found himself surprised that his heart broke, taking the news almost as hard as if the doctor had.


	18. Chapter 18

****~**~****

It felt like Merlin’s decision to call on Kingsman had been made long ago. “Perhaps our friends can help,” he said just as the click of lock and handle turn.

“Who?” Dr. Holland strode into the exam room, pulling her long hair into a low ponytail and toeing the door shut behind her. “Hello, gentleman. Good to see you’re well. Overheard some talk of help?”

Eggsy started to catch her up. “We was just asking if the town would be interested in bringing in private investigators. Mur knows some with military training; they might be able to bring back the missing alphas as well and get down the root of all this.” 

The state of the waiting room and the memory of the sullen village weighed heavily on Eggsy’s heart as he explained. Dr. Holland’s brow drew together in a familiar ‘v’ as she listened. It bore a striking resemblance to the concern her father wore.

Despite the doctors’ apparent sincerity, Merlin looked at Eggsy and shook his head. It was not to suggest Kingsman wouldn’t help but to prevent Eggsy from revealing anything more. There was no way of knowing, just yet, how much they could truly trust these doctors or their staff. Afterall, these medical professionals had turned over the task of administering blockers - _for children_ \- to the schools. The news still had Merlin’s stomach in knots.

The obstetrician appraised their pause and set to work. The snap of her exam gloves rang sharp. “Don’t see what harm some professional investigating would bring. Could do well to suggest such a thing.” She motioned for Merlin to sit on the table. 

“Oh, I won’t suggest them nothing.” Eggsy recalled the not-so-warm welcome he’d received the day before. “There are some not taking kindly to an Alpha so close to the village.”

“Hmm.” The wheels of the ultrasound cart creaked as Dr. Holland made room for herself. “In light of what’s going on? Or in general?”

“One man in particular made it very clear he believes I am at the center of what’s happening to the children.”

An air of light interest rose from Dr. Holland as she guided Merlin to lie back. Eggsy noted the flick of her eyes toward him across the room.

“I’m not, of course.” Eggsy looked to Dr. Dewey. He couldn’t say why he placed greater value in his own doctor’s opinion, but it felt significant. 

Dewey’s shoulders rose and fell. Quietly, beneath the small chatter of Dr. Holland and her patient, Dr. Dewey leaned into Eggsy’s space. “You may not have removed the children from their homes, but do you truly doubt your hand in this? I don’t think denial is a burden you should put on yourself, nor the mask an Alpha you should wear.”

It was an accusation if Eggsy had ever heard one. Eggsy drew himself tall as he readied his defense. 

“Eggsy?” Merlin called out, sensing a change in the room. He couldn’t see the Alpha but the scent of fear and anger stirred. “Is there something wrong?”

Dr. Holland rubbed Merlin’s shoulder and whispered to him comfortingly. “So far, so good.”

Eggsy told Merlin, “You’re doing so great, babe,” but kept Dr. Dewey in his periphery.

The older physician raised his eyebrows as if to say, “Do you want me to lie?”

Eggsy chewed his lip and stared fully at the dark monitor. _Truth breeds trust,_ he reminded himself. Some of his anger toward his doctor slipped away.

Eggsy took a step closer to Merlin, bringing himself to the head of the table. He replaced the obstetrician’s hand on Merlin’s shoulder with his own. Eggsy’s fingers worked soothing circles behind Merlin’s ears in a steady massage.

As the baby’s image appeared on screen, the warmth in her bedside manner disappeared.

“How was your heat?” Dr. Holland asked without inflection. 

“It was…” Merlin felt the flush of his cheeks and the gooseflesh rise over his arms and legs. 

“Intense?” A bit of warm gel slid down the gentle slope of Merlin’s belly.

“That’s a word,” he replied. “Yes.” 

“Any complications?” The ultrasound wand found the baby’s heartbeat and the swooshing rhythm of life filled the room. “Marks you need checked on?” she continued robotically.

“I don’t think so.” 

“Mating bite?” Her gaze passed from Merlin to Eggsy and back.

“No, no. We didn’t…” Merlin reached up to hold Eggsy’s wrist as their child arched and kicked within him. “We’re still waiting.”

At Merlin’s response, Dr. Holland’s personality returned. “That’s wonderful.” Delight brought a light to her eyes and a toothy smile to her face.

Merlin felt a little strange at her enthusiasm, but knew it was best for the bairn that he and Eggsy wait. He reasoned her reaction was relief rather than something other.

Dr. Holland performed her exam to see how the baby fared through the heat. “Still petite, but on track in terms of development.” 

Once it was clear the child was healthy and strong, the room let out an audible sigh. 

“There’s no word for how it feels to have some good news today,” Dr. Dewey confessed.

Eggsy cradled Merlin’s face where he lie on the table and kissed his forehead. “You’re amazing, guv. Beautiful.”

A ring of his cellphone and coordinated ping of Kingsman spectacles interrupted Eggsy’s affections, but it didn’t pull him away. Eggsy closed his eyes to block out the call a moment longer. He pressed his lips hard against Merlin’s furrowed brow until the wrinkles there smoothed and the tension in his mate waned.

****~**~****

Merlin sat ramrod straight and very still the entire ride back to the cottage. For a long time the only words from his lips were “Aye.” “Of course.” and “Nae chance in Hell.”

Eggsy kept only his earpiece as he drove, but Merlin was getting a full visual of Kelsey’s screens through his glasses. There were maps showing the spread of outbreak through the backcountry. There were lists: areas of interest, projections of where the ailment could spread next, guesses where it originated and why, and assumptions regarding the methods of transmission. 

“Ain’t airborne,” Eggsy said, exasperated. “Why does so many of ya act like it’s airborne?”

Merlin reached across the center to put his hand on Eggsy’s knee. It was the first contact he’d offered since they’d excused themselves from their appointment with the doctors. 

The shock of it had Eggsy’s eyes darting to his passenger. Eggsy mouthed an inaudible question of concern. “Are you alright?”

Merlin gave Eggsy a squeeze and turned his hand palm up, all the while Kelsey switched gears from the virus to her issues with the agents on the compound.

Eggsy scrubbed his face before considering Merlin’s proffered hand. With his knee bouncing and blood running like ice, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be held. And even if he did, to take on Eggsy’s worry wasn’t something Merlin needed. 

“Is this really what it was like with the first of us?” Kelsey wondered aloud.

“Is what what it was like? The blindly running at the bad and hoping against hope for good?” Eggsy placed his hand in Merlin’s anyway and hoped for the best. “Ain’t been round too long but it was like that for V-Day so can’t imagine we had more information back when tech was-”

“No, no.” There was a loud and muffled sound of something passing over Kelsey’s microphone. “Ugh. No. The… The posturing and scenting and ugh just the scents in general.”

“Our agents?” Merlin shifted in his seat, sitting forward and pressing his glasses further to the bridge of his nose.

“Yes. I mean, I cannot tell you how relieved I am our agents and staff are all betas. But close quarters, high tensions. Can you imagine if there were- No wonder all the big companies recommend blockers.”

Eggsy could imagine the end to her question. He could fill in the blank with the worst. 

The gas pedal depressed under his foot, urging the car to get them home faster. Eggsy needed to get out, to move, to run, to scream. 

Merlin gave him an odd look and a light pinch.

“I told them all to take a blocker,” Eggsy barked over the Kingsman line. “We _watched_ them take their blocker.”

“Still rut through that stuff,” Merlin reminded. “Even Kingsman made. It’s nae the suppressant ye know.”

Eggsy hadn’t paid much mind to the sexual appetites of the Kingsman during recruitment and had no time to spare since. “So, what, Kingsman’s a regular orgy den while the world collapses in on itself.” 

“No, sir! I wasn’t implying-”

Eggsy’s foot fell like lead on the gas pedal. He had half a mind to turn the car off road and head South. “Speak plainly, then.” _Imagine if there were alphas and omegas in our midst. Yeah, Kels, imagine a Kingsman like that. Never realized just how happy you were to have us off the Estate._ “Just thanking God for betas, am I right?”

Merlin hushed Eggsy with a hard look. “I need our agents to move North. From what you’ve said this seems to have started here at Dumfries and Galloway. Still isolated to rural villages, but we don’t know for how long. I have suspicion regarding a pharmaceutical company, but I need a lot more information. And if we could get hands on a dose of intramuscular blocker for testing, well that would be spectacular.”

“Sure. Yeah, ya got it, boss. Sending Lancelot, then. And Bors.”

“Nae, another. Have him at Kingsman Estate. I’d rather have Bors backing you and acting head as I’m in the field.”

Kelsey made a sound of hesitant disapproval. “Eh, field work? Shouldn’t you return home, sir? In your condition?”

“I’m nae delicate.” Offense poured off Merlin, thick and quick. “I’ll not have ye spreading that around neither.”

“With all due respect, Arthur, I thought the whole point of this trip, this _thing_ ya have going with Galahad, was that ya are.”

Merlin looked over at Eggsy and shook his head. “It’s complicated.” He didn’t wish to say more about their relationship, not to Kelsey. They hadn’t discussed who would know, how much, and when.

Eggsy narrowed his eyes on the road as he sped past field and forest. His self-doubt carried on the warm air in the car. Pushed around by the dashboard fans, it was impossible to hide.

Merlin never wanted to be the cause of such a scent on his Alpha. “It’s… much more than ye’ve implied,” he told Kelsey; he hoped he could leave it at that.

Though a new chill passed from Eggsy’s hand to Merlin’s, it was brief and followed by a caress. Eggsy’s thumb drew slow circles around Merlin’s knuckles as Merlin changed subject. 

The Quartermaster took to their discussion of logistics without resistance.

“If I send out Bedivere with Kay-”

Merlin sucked in a breath. He hated exposing his agents and hoped it wouldn’t give away too much. Although his knight was far from high alpha, he wasn’t considered beta either. An alpha would draw attention - a target - Merlin assumed, once the child population was spent. “Kay… No. Kay should stay put until we know more.” 

On this, Kelsey fought back. “But he’s one of our senior agents.” _For all she and anyone recruited after the late 80s, a beta-a “like everyone else.”_

“Better used once we know what we’ve got ahead of us. Striker. I won’t lose him in a goosechase through the backwoods.”

Merlin and Kelsey spoke hurriedly about the newest hires, none of whom were trusted or trained enough to go into the field. But with all of the back and forth and behind the scenes shop talk jargon Eggsy wasn’t used to hearing, Eggsy wasn’t sure which way was up.

“So, are we settled then? In agreement?”

Eggsy listened closely to the summary knowing it was likely he would understand.

“You and Galahad stay put. Take care of that baby and help as you’ve done. Bedivere will take Gareth and Lamorak. They’re… getting a better feel for working together. Civil war with med staff was quite the trial by fire, but I don’t want to split them up.”

“Fine.” Merlin’s fingers drummed against Eggsy’s thigh as if typing. “That’s fine.”

Eggsy frowned at the news. “So plan is: I lay low?”

“I, um, don’t you have a, er, _situation_ to take care of?” Kelsey stumbled and stuttered. “I’m not sure how it works but- I mean, I know how it works. Oh, god. I mean-”

Eggsy cut Kelsey off, his tone hard. “I’m a field agent. I belong in the field.”

“Of course, Galahad.” Kelsey yielded in a way a Quartermaster shouldn’t.

Merlin cleared his throat in a reprimand to them both.

Kelsey tried again, seeming to snap out of a fog. “That is, of course you’ll have your chance, Galahad.” 

A beep and click over the coms silenced Kelsey a moment. When she returned, her tone had fully returned to normal. “I have word from Lancelot. She thinks she can slip under the schools’ radar with talk about enrolling her kids. We’re drawing up paperwork for her and I’ll be sending her up tomorrow.”

“Roxy?” It’d been so long since Eggsy had heard from her. “How is she?”

“I’m fine, Galahad.” Roxy hated when Eggsy used her civilian name at work. “How are you?”

“You don’t call or text. What the hell?”

She scoffed. “I hear you’ve been busy, agent.”

“Heh. Lots to catch up on after this, I guess.” Eggsy brought Merlin’s hand to his mouth for a kiss. “Good luck, mate. Them don’t take too kindly to outsiders.”

“I’ll be alright. I’m a lot better at blending in than you are.”

“Oh.”

Lancelot swore under her breath. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that like… I was trying to insult your general lack of stealth and subtlety, not-” 

“Ah, just wanted to remind me I’m a crap agent? Pep talk before we save the world again?”

“Something like that.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes. “Well, fuck you too, Lancelot.”

****~**~****

When the line was clear and they were parked safely at the cottage garden path, Eggsy stared down at the steering wheel. The keys sang as he tossed and caught them in his hand.

“Eggsy?”

 _Did everyone at Kingsman think he was only a rut for hire? A convenience? A mission?_ Eggsy caught the keys a last time and held them tightly in his fist. _Was that what he and Merlin had wanted them to believe?_

Quietly, Eggsy said, “I would’ve done it anyway.”

“Done what?”

Though his eyes stared at the steering wheel, his vision was unfocused. “Let you have me… use me.”

The implication had Merlin’s heart drop into his gut. “Don’t speak like that.”

“I know I-”

“Ye don’t know.” Merlin had had casual sex, not as much as one may assume for his years; it had never been easy to separate emotion from the act. Nevertheless, there wasn’t love. “Ye wouldn’t have felt the same,” he tried to explain. 

“Don’t feel like I could ever feel any different. Wouldn’t never let anything bad happen to ya. Never. Even if ya hadn't felt the way you said.”

“Eggsy…”. Merlin looked to him and saw not self deprecation in the blue eyes looking back, but devotion. He saw love. “Eggsy,” he whispered. 

Eggsy brought Merlin's hand to his cheek and leaned across the gap. There was a small gasp as he pulled Merlin in by his shirt and kissed him full. Their lips moved in harmony as their hearts and hands grappled for a closeness the car wouldn't permit. 

“Inside,” Eggsy breathed and unlocked the sedan door behind him before Merlin's pout would change his mind.

****~**~****


	19. Chapter 19

****~**~****

The love they made was feral and fire, but there was no doubt for Eggsy or for Merlin, it was love.

Merlin held Eggsy by the shoulders, nails digging deep into muscle. A whimper escaped his throat when his hands slipped. His scent rose in fear Eggsy would change position, angle back, and create distance between their sweat slick bodies. But, as if reading his Omega’s thoughts, the Alpha leaned in for a kiss instead.

Eggsy’s thrusts rocked Merlin toward the headboard hard enough the world almost started to make sense. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought or did beyond them. There was no place Eggsy would rather be, no one he’d rather be with. 

They made love under the light of the moon as it waned. The light of the stars sufficed while the moon spent nights in hiding. And as the moon’s shape returned, Merlin’s belly grew rounder. As the moon’s pull on the earth grew stronger, Eggsy’s heart filled.

****~**~****

By light of day, Eggsy ran and worked and worried.

He urged his Mum to keep Daisy off anything administered by the school. To which the reply was always some variation of, “I’ve told you, love, Daisy won’t get anything unless I’m there with her. I’m not having her on blockers at her age. We’ll get on as we do.”

It was meant to be a comfort but the flippant way his concern was cast off did little to quell Eggsy’s anxiety.

He fretted over Merlin’s stress level: there was something going on with Kingsman that always amounted to: “No news to report, Galahad. Stay mindful of your own mission.” 

Eggsy’s mission was apparently: Guard Arthur. 

Of course, Eggsy would guard Sean and the pup with his life even were it not assigned to him. _Did Kelsey - now officially _Merlin_ \- truly not understand? Was she so blind?_ Eggsy hoped Kingsman’s new Quartermaster had better senses.

The attitudes of villagers caught Eggsy on edge as well. The disappearances had, thankfully, died off. What that meant for their population of alpha variants, however, Eggsy wasn’t sure. He had been quite effectively barred from the town. With the unease his presence brought them, Eggsy begrudgingly respected their wishes to stay away. 

While Eggsy kept busy, exhausting himself with carpentry and fruitless concern, Sean holed up in the newly renovated office. He shucked his figurative wizard robe and hat, and fully embraced his role as Arthur. 

Eggsy admired the switch, didn’t think he could love Sean more for taking up the mantle when it was such a heavy burden. At the same time, he hated that it fell to Sean at this time in their lives. 

Nevertheless, in the comfort of ‘home,’ in the presence of his Alpha, Arthur’s pregnancy progressed without a hiccup. His belly rounded, his ankles swelled, and his appetites grew. 

Eggsy kissed Arthur deeply at the start and end of each day, not knowing what the Kingsman would uncover, and hoped he hid his resentments well. He kissed the top of Sean’s tummy with a prayer of thanks and hope for the future. He watched his mate leave the bedroom early each morning with a sense of being pulled in multiple directions and wondered if he would ever reconcile that the father of his baby was also the father of Kingsman’s new order.

****~**~****

Eggsy managed to pull Sean away from his work one evening in late November. He exaggerated his surprise at Arthur’s willingness to put down his glasses, but the shock was genuine in part. Lancelot and Bedivere’s team had been working around the clock, so Arthur, Merlin, and Bors kept long hours as well.

Eggsy led Sean down the hallway by the hand, heart a flutter with excitement and held his breath until they were stood in the entrance of the second largest bedroom of the house.

Arthur’s hands went to his belly as he took it in. “Oh, lad.” 

The walls of the nursery were pale, illuminated by soft light as it streamed through taffeta curtains. 

“Got blinds coming in. The kind that'll block out the sun and all for when they need dark.”

Sean walked through the room in a daze. His fingertips trailed over the rail of the crib and caressed the blanket folded neatly atop the rocking chair. He made mental note of where surveillance cameras could be placed and weapon compartments could be secured, but for the most he took in what Eggsy had done in awe. 

“Left most of the decoration for you.” 

Sean paused at the window to take in the view of the garden. He smiled at the overgrown flower beds. The pergola was in disrepair, strangled by vines. Rose bushes twisted around each other. Nothing would survive under the thicket of bramble and thorn. 

He looked forward to getting his hands in the dirt - less excited for the frozen ground. Perhaps overturning the soil would have to wait for Spring. If only he had time, he’d be pulling dried branches and dead growth before the frost set in. 

Eggsy came up behind and slid his arms around Sean’s waist. “I know it’s not perfect.” His hands moved over Sean’s new curves and Eggsy’s affections for him and the pup couldn’t be denied. 

“Nae, little alpha.” Sean turned in Eggsy’s embrace. His vision of the room blurred through unshed tears. “What ye’ve done here, all of it, for us…” He held Eggsy’s face and pulled him in for a chaste kiss. “It is perfect.”

The press of the pregnancy against Eggsy’s body sent Eggsy’s stomach into somersaults. He chased Sean’s lips for a second kiss, but when they broke apart there was a different look in the hazel eyes locked on his.

Eggsy recognized Arthur.

“I have to get back to work,” the head of Kingsman reminded, and Eggsy nodded and was suddenly alone.

****~**~****

Patching the rooftop seemed like a safe place for a call to Roxy, but still Eggsy peeked over his shoulder. “Can they find nothing on them bastards took the kids?” Arthur insisted he keep his queries of Kingsman to himself. Luckily, Roxy wasn’t one to keep frivolous secrets.

“There’s trails. But we come up cold.”

“Yeah.” The wind picked up and Eggsy shielded his eyes. The view from the roof was beautiful, the land around the house expansive, but it was the chill of snow-to-come that left him breathless. “Freezin’ my arse over here as well.”

Roxy’s voice dropped to barely a hush. “Another rut is it?”

“Roxy, is this really a conversation you want to have?” He almost wished she’d say ‘yes.’ It was about time someone listened long enough Eggsy could set the record straight. If not for Alphas in general, then at least let her listen to his own experience.

“We’re friends,” of that, Roxy sounded certain. It was the second bit, the added- “We can talk” -which carried a waver in her voice.

“You rut, Roxy?”

“Sure, I mean, since I was twelve. But it’s not like… you know…”

“Not like what?”

“Not like the old stories. Howling at the moon and forgetting who I am. I’m still me.”

Betas had decided long ago what human meant and Eggsy wouldn’t let their purblind understanding leave him an animal. It was instilled in them to view Alphas as less than and other. Coming from Roxy, it made Eggsy sick to his stomach.

“You really think that’s what happens to me? I become someone else; some _thing_ else.” 

“Wh- I- Don’t you?”

“No!” Eggsy bit back his growl as to not lose his point. He would defend his humanity to the end. 

Roxy sucked in a breath. “Ok.” 

“Ok?” 

“Ok!” She shot back at Eggsy, a friend’s frustration at having to repeat a change of heart shining through.

Eggsy sighed his relief. “Ok.”

With their friendship reaffirmed, Roxy resumed her brazen line of questioning. “Well you’ve been shacked up with Arthur, keeping his hormone levels in check? You guys have been, uh, what’d Merlin call it? Cycling? Is that it?”

“What?” His and Sean’s mating habits were talk of Kingsman now? How much was gossip, how much was discussion of the base animals whose brains turned when their bodies told them it was time to breed? Eggsy dragged a hand over his face.

“Well, why else wouldn’t you invite us to the safe house?” she challenged.

“Um.” The thought of inviting the others to hold a meeting at the house or spend a night hadn’t occurred to Eggsy. Certainly Arthur had never brought it up. Besides, with only the small armories in Arthur’s desk and Eggsy’s armoire, there weren’t enough weapons to pass around. “It’s a _safe_ house, Rox. Trying to keep Arthur safe. Not draw attention to the area.” 

“Bollocks. We’re Kingsman. Can’t trust us to be discreet?”

‘ _Fine then_ ,” Eggsy wanted to say, ‘ _I don’t want ya all intruding on our home._ ’ Instead, Eggsy’s response was gentler, but of the same vein. “Really, Sean and I are enjoying the privacy.”

Roxy’s tone went soft. “You and Sean, huh?”

“Yeah.” Eggsy raised his hand to his mouth. He felt the small smile creep up under his fingers. “You should see him now. The babe’s really grown. It’s-” Just holding the image of Arthur in his mind warmed Eggsy’s core. “It’s incredible, Rox.

“Anyway, we’re heading to Mum's for Christmas, so if that was a round the bit way of asking yourself over for the holiday-”

Roxy hummed. “Introducing Arthur to the family?”

Eggsy didn't mention, that in a way, Sean and the baby felt more like family than even his own blood. It was a scary thought, a shameful thought given all he’d gone through with his mother and sister. He kept it to himself and tried to push it away. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but consider Sean and the baby as priority, as his own.

****~**~****

Eggsy’s spend covered Arthur’s stomach, his mind still feral with lust and love and _mine_.

The thought wouldn't leave Eggsy's mind and he hoped the memory of this moment would remain forever. “I love you,” he said breathless. The expression that had so many times gotten stuck in his throat now poured from his lips freely.

Arthur didn't use the phrase quite so liberally, but when he did Eggsy couldn't get close enough. There was a rope between them, tethering their cores, he'd swear. Each day it grew stronger, as did the desire Eggsy to hold Arthur longer, the deeper he missed him when the overlong hours of work kept them apart.

Eggsy bent to take Arthur into his mouth and rubbed his hand over the swell of Arthur's stomach.

Arthur arched into it, slick and warm; keened at the feel of Eggsy's tongue as it licked him to bliss.

Eggsy held Arthur until morning and bit back a sigh when his Omega rose early to return to his secret work.

****~**~****

As Eggsy lie in a steaming bath - soothing his muscles and warming his bones - he resigned to another night of late hours alone. It was too often Arthur worked with Merlin into the night, but what could ask of the two? Their searches for the source of the tainted blockers and the missing alphas were coming up short. They had their webs of magic to weave.

Eggsy decided it was time.

He sent Bethany an email wishing her well and requesting to discuss the offer he had put on the cottage.

He was shocked by her immediate and affirmative response. It seemed she had been considering the offer for the past month and was going to hand over the contracts as a Christmas present. 

In his excitement, Eggsy rang.

“It’s yours, of course,” she said over the line. “I suppose ye won’t negotiate.”

Eggsy’s offer had been generous, far more than the land was worth, but he knew someone with as kind a heart as hers would be sure the extra income would find its way into worthy hands. 

“Not unless ya have need for more, ma’am.”

“I know not your true profession, lad. But I fear with money like that ye will spoil that pup before I get m’ chance.”

Eggsy smiled as he bid her farewell and looked contentedly at his phone.

The bathroom door inched open. “Flirting with an old love?”

“Mm.” Eggsy set his mobile aside and beckoned Sean in for a kiss. “ Much older. Very different kind of love.”

****~**~****

Eggsy felt the baby move while Arthur sat on the couch with his feet up on an ottoman. He leaned in to scent the child, chasing the faintest hint of rose before it disappeared.

Arthur raked his fingers through Eggsy’s hair. “Their father was beta. Even I can hardly scent him on the bairn like this. And I know what to seek out.”

“Roses. He smelled like roses didn't he.”

Arthur looked up at the low ceiling, the lines of plaster where cracks had been mended. “At times.”

Eggsy placed his hand on Arthur's belly, as delicately as he had the first time. “There's no better man than your Da, bug… Oh?” His eyes went wide in surprise and he reared back. “What's that, bug?” He laid his ear to the swell of Arthur's belly and furrowed his brow in concentration. “Mm. Mhmm. Quite right.”

“If bug didn't tell ye to get me antacids and another pillow, they be remiss.”

Still listening to the baby, Eggsy laughed. “Yeah, I know. Da's a real crack up. Sure. Sure. I'll get ya an ice cream. Oh. One for me as well? Thanks. Don't mind if I do.” 

Upon his return from the kitchen, Eggsy sidled up next to Arthur with a grin. “Bug says I get the first bite,” he informed as he handed over the bowl.

“Oh did they?” Arthur lifted an eyebrow but prepared a spoon for Eggsy nevertheless.

****~**~****

Eggsy climbed into bed beside Arthur with a sigh. “I'll mend the leaky pipes in the morning.”

“Like hell you will.” The kitchen sink had been acting up; if the old plumbing wasn’t fixed properly a cold snap could really do them in for winter.

“I can do it meself, like all the rest.” He should really get a professional in, but Eggsy would work through it with an internet tutorial just like he’d found everything. Bob Vila wasn’t the only one who knew his stuff, but man was he a helpful resource.

Arthur sighed. “I dinnae mean to offend, little alpha. But when do ye think you'll find the time when we’re due at your ma’s by 9?”

Eggsy threw his head back on the pillow. “Shite.” How quickly the week of Christmas had snuck up on him. “

****~**~****


	20. Chapter 20

****~**~****

With a tray of tea and gingerbread, Eggsy came out of the kitchen. The living room welcomed him with the soft glow of Christmas tree lights. Rain tapped the windows and carols played over the radio at low volume.

Eggsy closed his eyes as he paused by the tree. For just a moment, he imagined a white Christmas like the ones about which Frank Sinatra sang. It would have been beautiful: a thin layer of snow blanketing the town. What they had at Michelle’s, however, was a warmth that radiated not from the fire crackling beneath the decorated mantle, but from each other. Eggsy opened his eyes to the room again and needed no imagination to feel the spirit of Christmas there.

On the couch, Michelle and Sean huddled close. Their words were hushed; their smiles were bright. Daisy lay tucked into Sean’s opposite side. After her first ever sips of cocoa and one too many sugar dusted biscuits, the toddler had crashed hard. Her back rose and fell with her little snores as she slept. 

Seeing the three of them together warmed the place in Eggsy's heart he thought had been reserved for his mother and sister alone. To remove Daisy to her bedroom felt wrong. It felt wrong to break up the family on Christmas. Eggsy watched as Sean’s arm stretched around Daisy and adjust her position amongst the pillows and his belly. 

Sean was family. He and the pup. Eggsy’s mum and Daisy were family. 

Eggsy watched his worlds entwine and started toward them again. 

Careful not to disturb their conversation, Eggsy placed the tray on the small table in front of the sofa and headed to the back of the room. Away from the fireplace, but close enough to the tree that the bottles sitting upon it reflected the colored lights, the drink cart was laid out with a small decanter of eggnog and a half bottle of brandy.

As Eggsy fixed himself a drink, his mum and Sean continued to build their easy rapport.

Michelle tucked her foot under herself as she turned to face Sean fully. “I could teach ya,” she continued from where she had left off. “I’ve already begun with Daisy. 

“They say it’s easier to teach children, but when we’re older we have patience and drive to practice. You may surprise yourself with how much you can pick up... with how much you already know.” Michelle leaned forward to have a peek at her daughter. “Though I say Daisy has a gift, a special sense.”

“That I bet she does.” Sean smoothed his hand over the child’s head. He marveled at how soft her hair was and breathed in the scent of vanilla almond shampoo he had come to associate with extended visits to Michelle’s home. It wasn’t like the cottage. 

Fresh cut wood. Boiled oats and honey. The wild air of the forest and fields. Sean had quickly grown used to deep breaths of the countryside. He had grown deeply fond of considering the safe house his home. Their home. Only a day gone and he missed it already.

Sean continued to card his fingers through Daisy’s hair and his thoughts turned to his bairn. Always, the bairn. He wondered if they would have hair as downy and sweet. He wondered if they would enjoy spinning in circles until they fell into the cushions dizzy and panting. He wondered if they would run with Eggsy’s speed or laugh with his smile. Sean gasped at the train of thought. Surely it would be the babe’s biological fathers with which they’d share features. The wee one would smell of roses, have hazel eyes and a sharp nose. 

There had been so many changes since Sean took over Kingsman, his unsuppressed ability to scent changes in the air hadn’t been one on which he’d truly focused. He didn’t notice the stormy smell of Eggsy’s concern approaching until he felt his touch.

“Alright, gov?”

Sean turned his face to meet Eggsy and he clasped the hand that laid upon his shoulder. His child would learn Eggsy’s compassion and would grow up in a household of love. What they looked like didn’t matter. “I’m just fine, love.” 

“Can I tell the baby somethin?” Michelle blinked at Sean, looking for the first time shy. 

Sean regarded her with a fond smile. “O’ course ye can. You’re their Nan.”

Taken aback, Michelle took in a quick breath. When she released it, her chin was quivering. “I…” She bit her lips together and sniffed. “Ya can’t just say things like that out the blue, Sean.” She turned her eyes to the ceiling to find her bearings. “Catch me off guard and make me lose my words.”

Sean patted Michelle’s hand on her knee before giving it a light squeeze. “Dinnae think it was somethin’ ye had forgotten.” 

Eggsy swallowed his surprise at Sean’s easy insistence and dropped a kiss to the crown of his head.

Michelle ran a finger under her lashes to catch her tears before they fell. “Finding it hard to believe, more like.” 

After a meaningful rub of his palm over Sean’s scent gland, Eggsy made himself scarce. He tinkered with the ornaments on the tree and gave his mother and Sean what privacy the small room could afford. 

After another sniff and a sigh, Michelle leaned into Sean’s belly so close her lips wrinkled Sean's dress shirt as they moved. 

“A secret, was it?” Sean asked when Michelle straightened up.

“Maybe.” Michelle tsked at herself as she rubbed a spot os lipstick left behind on on Sean’s shirt. “She can tell you when she's older.”

Sean shook his head, amused. Michelle had let slip she scented female hormones on Sean and now that the cat was out of the bag, she wouldn’t let it drop. The woman was thrilled she’d have a granddaughter and there was no telling her to patiently wait for the confirmation of birth. 

Sean played along. “Ye think she'll remember after all that time?”

“Sure she will! Daisy remembers the song he would sing her.”

“Ah.” Sean caught Eggsy’s eye over the back of the sofa. “All Through the Night.”

“No, for Daisy it was... Eggsy?” Michelle screwed up her mouth as she fought for the memory. “Come sing Daisy’s song, yeah?”

At the drink cart, Eggsy filled his glass a second time and brought it to his lips. It had been a long time since he sang for Daisy, and longer still since his mum had listened in. He returned to the sitting area taking large draughts of the brandy before abandoning the empty tumbler on the table. On the carpet in front of his sleeping sister and Sean, he sank to his knees. 

In a soft croon, he pulled the melody from his heart and sang the song he'd first heard while jumping in the club. 

His shirt had been soaked with sweat - a mix of his own and those pressing in around him from the crowd. The sweat running down his face had mingled with the tears on his cheeks and hid his heartache, confusion, and fear. Bodies had pressed in around him from all sides of the crowd as he moved against all the wrong sorts. 

He had felt as out of place as ever, but lost and found on that dancefloor of misfits. He had been overwhelmed and very much alone, but vibrating through him had been the music and the promise held in this song. 

In memory, the beat of EDM pounded in Eggsy’s ears and sped up his already racing heart, but for his family he brought the song low and slow.

He drew out the words until they were the lullaby his mum remembered. “My father said,” Eggsy sang softly, “don't you worry child.” His hand came to rest on his sister’s pajama-clad back and rubbed it in a wide circle. “See Heaven's got a plan for you.” The touch was more to ground himself than to comfort his sister. “Don’t you worry, now.”

Sean reached out to Eggsy as his Alpha’s voice broke and rose again in song. Sean ran his fingertips over Eggsy's scalp, around his ear to the scar where his stepfather gave him a wound that had needed a dozen stitches. 

Daisy shifted in her dreams, making room between herself and Sean. Sean pulled Eggsy up by the hand, onto the cushions, and his mum lent her voice to the song. 

Eggsy’s eyes were swimming, but he didn’t dash away his tears. Eventually the lyrics he sang faded into whispers and breaths; the tears receded without falling. 

Michelle poured out tea in the quiet. “I want to be a medical assistant.” She busied herself preparing the cups with milk and sugar, but her voice was sure. “You think that might be the plan for me?”

Eggsy looked from Daisy to his mum and a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. She had never had an opportunity to make such plans for herself. He had no idea she had aspirations for something like that. “Yeah, mum. Whatever you want to be.” 

“Daisy has a keen nose and warm hands already.” Michelle brought her cuppa to her lap and stirred. “Maybe she’ll come into her full omega after a few years. Maybe she’s not a beta, ya know? With some medical training I could know for sure, I could help her through it.”

“Oh.” Eggsy said and felt Sean’s chest vibrate as he cleared his throat. “Well, even if she doesn’t, mum, there’s plenty need for medical assistants. And if Daisy’s a true beta, that’s a good thing, too, right? I mean, no matter what, she’s amazing; she’s perfect.”

Michelle nodded as she sipped, but she didn’t appear to be listening. “I know. But I was talking to Mr. Fuller - Dr. Fuller - he’s the father of Daisy’s new mate Eddie. There’s new research. Genetics testing. A few scientists think they can identify the markers for omegas and alphas in children young as a year.”

Eggsy and Sean shared a look. 

Michelle sat forward, setting her tea on the table in favor of gesturing animatedly while she spoke. “And there’s a medicine, they say, still in development. Supposed to help some betas. The ones right on the edge… What if it gives Daisy the push?” 

“Mum, we talked about giving Daisy drugs. As in… No, absolutely not.”

“Well, even without the medication, you were thought to be beta before it all changed. What if late presentation is genetic?”

Eggsy heaved a great sigh before giving into a shrug. “I don’t know, mum.”

Michelle twirled a lock of hair around her finger as she eyed the fire dying in the hearth. “That’s the rub, now, ain’t it, Eggsy?” She didn’t sound offended; she sounded determined. “No one does.”

“Where are you finding this information, mum?”

“Online mostly. It’s how I connected with Dr. Fuller, actually. Amazing the information you can find. How small the world is when everyone can exchange ideas in an instant.”

“Aye. Small world.”

****~**~****

Eggsy placed the last of the biscuits into the tin and pressed the lid closed. It was the last of the clean-up that needed doing before they could retire to bed same as the others.

Sean sat beside him in the kitchen, nibbling the last limb off his gingerperson so that they were nothing but head and torso. “You’re ma is more into computers than ye had let on.”

Eggsy set another biscuit onto Sean’s plate, not that his omega had ever been shy about taking food for himself.

“I don’t get it.” Eggsy leaned onto his elbows, tapping the tin between his hands. “Daisy brought home that damn bunny and mum could barely download a Dos and Don’ts list for rabbit care. Now she’s taking online courses? She’s joining message board discussions about gene therapy?”

“I have nae heard of the research she wanted to discuss, Eggsy.”

“Don’t really make me feel any better, gov.”

“We can look into it all in the mornin’.” 

“Yeah.” Eggsy pulled Sean to his side, ignoring the crunch of gingerbread tickling his eardrum. “Yeah, I know.” With a huff, he pressed his face to Sean’s shoulder. 

“Your ma won’t administer anything to Daisy without certainty of its safety, Eggsy.”

Eggsy shook his head against the sleeve of Sean’s soft jumper, but he couldn’t rid his mind of the worry. “What if this drug is the same as what’s been going around?”

“That crossed my mind. But what benefit would Kingsman garner giving that to us? We had our omega and alpha artificially suppressed. The drug your mother mentioned calls the gene out.”

“Dunno.”

Sean brushed crumbs off his fingers before steepling them together in thought. “There’s no trace of the drugs anywhere Eggsy. The pharmaceutical company sent their own doctors to dose the children. And my medication is long gone.”

Eggsy lifted his head. “I have some.” He stood from the table and made for the cupboard. “I came here when the pills were making me sick.” As he stretched for the highest shelf, Eggsy met Sean’s gaze with bright eyes. “I bet my mum still has the bottle.”

****~**~****

Eggsy climbed into bed and immediately wrapped himself in Sean's tight embrace. They had made a promise to each other, and for the second night in a row it looked like they would be keeping it. No Kingsman glasses. No late phone calls. No tablet or computer on standby beside the bed.

Eggsy took a deep breath of the firewood smoke lingering on their nightshirts and the mint carried on Sean’s sigh. “Thank you for today. For coming with me. Having you here with us is…” Eggsy’s hand alighted to Sean’s chest and tugged at Sean’s nightshirt until the man turned to his side. 

“What is it, little alpha?” Sean’s gaze was patient and searching.

Eggsy held it steadily, even as he voiced a thought that he worried was archaic and strange. “Would it be off to say I am glad to have my omegas safe and under one roof?” Once the words were out, Eggsy felt his embarrassment hot in his cheeks and burning his ears. Even so, he didn’t hide his face. 

“You speak of a pack.” 

Protest rushed past Eggsy’s lips like the word pack was something vulgar. “No, I-”

Sean caught Eggsy’s chin and quieted the objection with the press of his thumb against the Alpha’s lips. He came in for a kiss and swallowed whatever rebuttal Eggsy thought he needed to make. 

When their lips parted, Sean kept their faces close. Nuzzling Eggsy’s cheek, he spoke as they shared breath, “Happy Christmas.”

Eggsy returned the greeting with a long kiss and a hum in his chest that rolled like far off thunder.

“Ye think, little alpha, maybe there was a plan after all?” Sean pressed his lips to Eggsy’s palm before bringing it to the swell of his belly; he hoped it would drive his point home.

“A plan?” Eggsy asked, and the words he sang to his sister sprang to mind. He chased them away as his hand chased the flutter of the pup within Sean’s belly. Still, the lyrics played one last time: _don’t you worry child._

Dissatisfied with having an extra layer between them, Eggsy pushed Sean’s nightshirt up. He wanted to feel the baby move against bare skin; he needed it. 

With the shirt out of the way, it was easier to smell them both: Sean and the baby. Their floral bouquet rose through the scent of firewood and Eggsy pressed in. Though Eggsy wouldn’t say so aloud, he noticed the omega’s scent had been carrying with it the perfume of dewy roses all day. 

Eggsy smoothed his hand in wide circles over Sean’s belly as he breathed him in. “You mean like a fairytale, gov? And they all lived happily ever after?” There was never a moment in time when Eggsy believed in that. There was never a moment when he wanted to, until now.

“You don't think we’re worth all that?”

“You?!” The uncertainty in Sean’s tone had Eggsy sitting up and scooting himself to the pillows at the head of the bed. “Fuck, love, of course.” He blinked down at Sean and hated himself for causing someone worth so much to wonder. “You and the babe, Sean. You’re worth all that and more.”

“And you, Eggsy.” Sean held Eggsy's head in his hands. “It won't be my happy ending without you.”

“You won't be alone, Sean. I'll always be there to care for you and the little one. I'm sorry. It's that song it-”

“It's Daisy's song. Give it to her. Let the lass assign meaning to the words.” Sean waited for Eggsy to nod before making another request. “About time for bug to settle down to their own lullaby, wouldn’t ye say?” 

“Sean.” Eggsy smoothed his hands down Sean’s arms in a slow, stalling gesture. He threaded their fingers together carefully and gave their hands a gentle pulse before meeting Sean’s eyes again. “Whoever the sire is… I'm grateful you got this miracle.”

Sean’s lips parted with his intake of breath, but he didn’t interrupt. 

“You get to be a Da and to have a family like ya wanted.” Eggsy bowed his head, knowing he was breaking a promise he’d given to wait until after the pup was born to bring up the past. “I'm sorry they passed away; that they won't meet this amazing person growing in you. And I'm… forever honored to be the one at your side.”

“Eggsy,” Sean gave his head the slightest tilt, “ye don't just stand at my side; ye hold my heart.”

****~**~****

Sean sat back from Michelle’s desk as her desktop icons loaded on the screen. “Eggsy? Did ye install this search engine?”

“Oh. Yeah. Like I said, Mum was always downloading viruses and such. I figured the search I had on my own laptop was safer to-”

“That’s a Kingsman program.”

“Oh,” Eggsy caught his bottom lip between his teeth and tried for an innocent smile. “Erm, OK. Is that- Am I in trouble?”

“Nae.” The tick of keys under Sean's fingers was quick and steady once it started - a familiar sound. “But I think we found the mystery of your ma’s stumble into the dark web.”

“Sounds like I should, maybe, be in trouble there, gov.”

Sean raised an eyebrow. “If’n ye’d like to be, that can be arranged.”

Eggsy flushed scarlet. 

Sean’s smile was wicked, made even more so by the way he donned his Kingsman specs and called HQ without batting an eye. 

“Arthur?” Kelsey received live feed of the screen in front of Sean as soon as their connection came to life. “Sitrep.”

“Merlin. All clear. Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas.” She sounded jittery but it wasn’t the nerves of a mission gone awry. If Sean had to guess: too much caffeine. “How’s the holiday?”

Eggsy slipped his own glasses over his ears and tapped out a quick message: **| Haven’t told him. Still in escrow. |**

Confirmation that message had been read came immediately and Merlin didn’t mention a thing about the cottage.

“Very merry,” Sean answered of their holiday. Though Eggsy believed him, the flat affect Sean wore inspired some concern. “Listen, I need to run background on a host of IP addresses.”

“Send over the details and we’ll have it sorted. I don’t mean to interrupt your time with family, but-” Merlin was all business.

As was Arthur. “Report.”

“Some of the alphas in the North gone run away from home to avoid the shots. Smart pups if it's true.”

Eggsy heard the news same as Sean.

_Runaways._ It wasn't something they had considered. It wasn't a flame of hope Eggsy wanted to fan. But looking for runaways would be a different search than investigating a corrupt multi-million dollar pharmaceutical company. 

“Keep us informed,” Arthur said when it was clear he had received all of the information Kingsman had gathered. 

“Of course.”

Sean switched off his comm and got to work on his list of IP addresses for Merlin.

“Sean,” Eggsy said with a grave note to his voice and a furrowed brow. 

The clicks of the keyboard came to a pause, but Sean’s eyes didn’t lift from the screen. The silence between them hung heavily but brief.

Eggsy slid his glasses from his nose and folded them neatly for his pocket. “I’m thinking it’s time I head back into the field.”

****~**~****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


End file.
